krhea75

So I was on this site for quite a while because of my son. He started drinking, smoking, whatever he could get his hands on when he was 13. It happened right after our divorce, and I thought the divorce was the cause of it. Now, 8 years later I'm not so sure. My son did have a difficult time because not only did he lose his happy family, but his dad came out to say he was gay. Hard stuff for a 13 year old. So we went to rehab many times, so many that I can't remember how many. Maybe 6 or 7. I thought he was better. Not completely well, but better. This past year since he has turned 21 has been hell. He's in college, but never has money to pay bills, consumes everything he can get his hands on, lives in denial. I am at the point of completely cutting him off, and it is breaking my heart. He may be homeless. My ex and I haven't had a good relationship because of his absenteeism when it comes to being a father, but I have tried to call him because I thought it might be more effective if we both talked to him and made one last plea. Go back to rehab or we're done. But my ex won't even return my call. Sigh....feeling kind of alone. and sad, so sad. Help!

twolivestouched

I am so sorry for the cards that you have been delt here. Your in the right place coming back here.
I dont know that I am the best one to give advice. But, i know that you are not alone and there are so many people here who have made it through a similar path. Be strong and know that you will always love your son, but you may have to detach so that he can have the chance the help himself.

Tuffgirl

I think its so much harder when it is a child...my A's are so far my husband and a dear friend in my life.

Do you attend Al-Anon? My home group tends to be more parents of alcoholics/addicts than spouses or other family members. And they are a very close knit group because of that shared situation.

Try to remember the three C's - you didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. And take care of you!

~T