One more step towards my new great life...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,637
One more step towards my new great life...
I've been out of the insanity ( at least on a day to day basis!) for almost 2 months now. What a change! Happiness and peace fills our rental home! The kids are so amazing in their adaptation. The oldest has been in counseling and it's been Soooo good for her 
And today, almost 6 months after we listed the house for sale... We have a very solid offer on the table... And my STBXAH is willing to accept it so we can both move on!! Wow.
Life is so amazing when I truly let go and life live to the fullest and in the moment! The new job is busy... But still very much amazing.
I'm overwhelmed with how life can be. I'm so content in my new little home... Just me and the kids and our dog. This is the good stuff.
And today, almost 6 months after we listed the house for sale... We have a very solid offer on the table... And my STBXAH is willing to accept it so we can both move on!! Wow.
Life is so amazing when I truly let go and life live to the fullest and in the moment! The new job is busy... But still very much amazing.
I'm overwhelmed with how life can be. I'm so content in my new little home... Just me and the kids and our dog. This is the good stuff.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: England U.K.
Posts: 62
Hi Gettingby
I felt the same as Pelican when I read your post.
Im so pleased your feeling well and good, how wonderful for you and your children.
I am grateful to read that today as I think to day is my day for that step to Freedom (im feeling the clarity and its painful) But having learned on here that we have to do what is dfificult to do, im ready.
Your post brightened my moment!
And confirmed it can be done.
Thank You
xxx
I felt the same as Pelican when I read your post.
Im so pleased your feeling well and good, how wonderful for you and your children.
I am grateful to read that today as I think to day is my day for that step to Freedom (im feeling the clarity and its painful) But having learned on here that we have to do what is dfificult to do, im ready.
Your post brightened my moment!
And confirmed it can be done.
Thank You
xxx
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,637
Noodler,
My path to freedom was long and windy... filledd with highs, lows, bumps, and switchbacks. Getting to a point of acceptance and clarity was not easy... getting to that point and actually be able to STAY there was even harder. But, I can say that as hard as it was - it was worth every bit of work. I observed a toxic situation yesterday evening (kids were outside playing in the neighborhood)... and it shocked me how much it took me right back to my past. I felt for this family because they are stuck in the depths of it and can't see the doorway out.... I remembered all too well how much that hurt. I pray daily for all affected by this disease... the wreckage it causes is devastating.
BUT....
There is hope. There is always hope, and happy days ahead... so long as we focus on the things we can control. Focus on healing ourselves... good things WILL come. It may not be the outcome WE want... but it will be exactly what we need.
Have faith... and LOTS of patience.
Hugs to you,
Shannon
My path to freedom was long and windy... filledd with highs, lows, bumps, and switchbacks. Getting to a point of acceptance and clarity was not easy... getting to that point and actually be able to STAY there was even harder. But, I can say that as hard as it was - it was worth every bit of work. I observed a toxic situation yesterday evening (kids were outside playing in the neighborhood)... and it shocked me how much it took me right back to my past. I felt for this family because they are stuck in the depths of it and can't see the doorway out.... I remembered all too well how much that hurt. I pray daily for all affected by this disease... the wreckage it causes is devastating.
BUT....
There is hope. There is always hope, and happy days ahead... so long as we focus on the things we can control. Focus on healing ourselves... good things WILL come. It may not be the outcome WE want... but it will be exactly what we need.
Have faith... and LOTS of patience.
Hugs to you,
Shannon
Yay! I am so happy for you!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: England U.K.
Posts: 62
Thanks Gettingby,
Thanks for those thoughts and im with you about the time it takes. I ve only been here a couple of months and its taught me everything I know now, I was so much in denial I didnt know I was there, if that makes sense. The older you get you think thats just it!
But this has been great for me and my RAH as it has also shown him that my new behaviour is all about changing and...... I feel hes getting it too. Although im pleased for him I know this is all about me. Eventhough alot of it is painful, painful.... detaching, loss, grief etc. I do now KNOW this is so right and the way to go, so there is relief also. That things will never be the same, THANK GOD. And I can look forward to a better life.
Your post are invaluable for seeing into the future.
I wish you all the luck, love and light in the world.
XXXXXXX
Thanks for those thoughts and im with you about the time it takes. I ve only been here a couple of months and its taught me everything I know now, I was so much in denial I didnt know I was there, if that makes sense. The older you get you think thats just it!
But this has been great for me and my RAH as it has also shown him that my new behaviour is all about changing and...... I feel hes getting it too. Although im pleased for him I know this is all about me. Eventhough alot of it is painful, painful.... detaching, loss, grief etc. I do now KNOW this is so right and the way to go, so there is relief also. That things will never be the same, THANK GOD. And I can look forward to a better life.
Your post are invaluable for seeing into the future.
I wish you all the luck, love and light in the world.
XXXXXXX
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,637
A few more things to share.... My life is great because of what choose to carry with me and what I choose to let go.
My STBXAH is still drinking... If fact, probably drinking even more now that the "worden" is gone. I don't care... Because it no longer impacts me. He's been flaking on child visits... And I'm not shocked... In fact, I mostly expected as much so I was prepared... And choose not to react. Yes, it sucks for my children... But I can't change his choices. What I can do is keep my feet on the ground and be there for them... And make sure their counselors know and can also help guide them.
I continue to pray for my ex. He has a horrible disease... And I simply can't fix it for him.
All of that sets me free on a daily basis. I am filled with peace. I'm mindful of my emotions and careful to not let them sweep me into reactions. I no longer worry... I pray and have faith that all will be okay. And ive done that enough times to finally understand... That it really does work!
For all of you struggling... Please feel free to read my posts. I didn't get here overnight... Nor in a few months. This has been years in the making!
I love you all and wish you all peace and happiness
Shannon
My STBXAH is still drinking... If fact, probably drinking even more now that the "worden" is gone. I don't care... Because it no longer impacts me. He's been flaking on child visits... And I'm not shocked... In fact, I mostly expected as much so I was prepared... And choose not to react. Yes, it sucks for my children... But I can't change his choices. What I can do is keep my feet on the ground and be there for them... And make sure their counselors know and can also help guide them.
I continue to pray for my ex. He has a horrible disease... And I simply can't fix it for him.
All of that sets me free on a daily basis. I am filled with peace. I'm mindful of my emotions and careful to not let them sweep me into reactions. I no longer worry... I pray and have faith that all will be okay. And ive done that enough times to finally understand... That it really does work!
For all of you struggling... Please feel free to read my posts. I didn't get here overnight... Nor in a few months. This has been years in the making!
I love you all and wish you all peace and happiness
Shannon
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
(((((Shannon)))))
It has been a really long time for you.
However, (yep, here comes another 'but' lol) you kept moving forward TO THE BEST OF YOUR ABILITY. I and others watched you struggle, through your written words. We gave encouragement and maybe some 'alternates' you could try.
Most importantly, you DIDN'T GIVE UP, you KEEP MOVING FORWARD WITH BABY STEPS. Your journey has been long and very hard for you, but you are now on the other side of the big problem of living with the AH and now your journey is moving faster.
You have been an inspiration to many on this site whether you know it or not. I can honestly say that you have made my heart smile many times, as it is doing right now.
Lots of love and bunches of hugs,
It has been a really long time for you.
However, (yep, here comes another 'but' lol) you kept moving forward TO THE BEST OF YOUR ABILITY. I and others watched you struggle, through your written words. We gave encouragement and maybe some 'alternates' you could try.
Most importantly, you DIDN'T GIVE UP, you KEEP MOVING FORWARD WITH BABY STEPS. Your journey has been long and very hard for you, but you are now on the other side of the big problem of living with the AH and now your journey is moving faster.
You have been an inspiration to many on this site whether you know it or not. I can honestly say that you have made my heart smile many times, as it is doing right now.
Lots of love and bunches of hugs,
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Memphis, TN
Posts: 2,884
Shannon,
Yesterday was my granddaughter's birthday (14) so I hope you don't mind if your post is only second on my list of high points for the weekend. It even edged out the BBQ chicken.
Your good friend,
Yesterday was my granddaughter's birthday (14) so I hope you don't mind if your post is only second on my list of high points for the weekend. It even edged out the BBQ chicken.
Your good friend,
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