DrBlastoff

Mid-twenties. I've been drinking hard since I was 21. Started drinking at 15.

I didn't start drinking as an alcoholic (outside social situations) until I was 21 and got my first "real job", 9-5.

I don't know how to stop. I know I have to. I've missed work and it's hurting my quality of life and relationships.

All those things clearly understood, a part of me dowsnt want to stop.

What the hell should I do!?

First time caller first time listener :p. very new here. Sorry for the rambling, I assume you can guess where I'm at.

DrBlastoff

Should add that I'm potentially chronically depressed, not that I've ever been diagnosed. Just a suspicion.

This probably raises the question of: why don't you get professional help.... Answer: because I'm not sure I give enough of a ****.

eh1988

Have you tried stopping before? I thought I was depressed too, until I stopped drinking and realized it was the alcohol that was causing me so many of those problems. Depression, anxiety, bi-poar thoughts, it's all a viscious cycle.

DrBlastoff

Yah. I've tried stopping before. One of my good friends was sent away in Highschool because of drug addictions. I tried really hard to stop then and it worked for about a year. The everything came back full force.

The only reason I mentioned depression is that--and I feel this isn't a darkened revisionist history--for about as long as I can remember, I onoe way or another, I've been depressed.

DrBlastoff

You know, the worst part is that I feel I can psycho-analyze every bit of what I'm doing, yet at times I still feel helpless to stop it. Somehow that makes it worse.

zaxx

Hiyas, Handle your business now because it will get harder. Alcoholism is very progressive. Sobering up in 20s is not like sobering up in 30s and so on. It seems like you know you have a problem and are not in too deep yet. At some point you are going to have to face it and it will never be easier then today. Talk specifically to a therapist, gen pract or psych about getting some mild depression treatment going. Right now you're treating depression with a depressant and it is going to catch up to you in a big way.

eh1988

Well yea the only way you'll know if you're depressed is if you go to your doctor and take the test they give you. You have to take that test sober though because if alcohol is affecting your answers then it's kind of pointless. Regardless if you're depressed or not, alcohol is not going to make that any better. It just numbs the feelings temporarily, it won't solve the problem. Are you drinking right now?...do you want to give sobriety a try?

Jennx7

Hey Doc,

Good idea to talk to a doc. No shame there and I promise you'll feel better. Depression is a real thing but for me it's a lot worse when I add alcohol. Once it's done and I'm sober I'm full of regret and self loathing. That's exhausting and always leaves me with so much more work to do. Staying sober makes me happier, naturally. There is still to get blotto but I come here and read the reasons and stories that allow me to remember how much pain it brings when the voice in my head says you can have a few. I can't. It sounds like you can't either. One thing that has helped aside from this site, trying to name one good reason to continue drinking. Nothing good comes from it, socially, mentally or physically. I keep a long cons list in my phone. This also helps me to remember. It will get better.

instant

Is your use getting in the way of other things is your life? Do you find it hard to stop when you want to?

In the end it,s a cost benefit equation. If we could use without costs I would probably still be drinking, I enjoyed it "..........but the downside got too much. To be ambivalent is normal when you are still using or in the early period of withdrawal

sugarbear1

You don't have to be stopped to read the AVRT book or to get to an AA meeting. Something might click. Otherwise, keep drinking and see how the consequences get worse, but this could take another 25 years before you are really ready.

I urge you to really think about what you need to do, not what you want to do, there is a difference.

I wish you sobriety,

Sometime

You could be drinking to self medicate the depression - I would stop drinking and see a doctor/physician about your depression asap.

langkah

If you don't want to stop then what does it matter if you don't know how that's done?

I don't know how to make a watch, but since I don't want to make one it's not a problem.

Jeans

You've taken the first step which is admitting you have a problem. I drank heavily for 16 years and was depressed the whole time. When I got sober my depression slowly lifted and I would consider myself a happy person now.

I quit drinking soooooo many times but each time I learnt something new and then something clicked and I have been sober for 72 days now.

You can quit too. See a doctor for you depression as it is an illness which needs treating.

Good luck

michelle01

Did you have some help/treatment/support the first time you quit, or was it under your own steam?

A doctor is likely to take a history and maybe wait a few weeks of sobriety before making a firm diagnosis of depression (alcohol itself is actually an overall depressant), but I did have a long history of depression before I started drinking and currently take ADs.

Nearly everybody feels all at sea or feels helpless when they first begin, you can really only take it a day at a time and look at support/services around you that can tide you through. Drinking in the end ceased to become such a fun activity for me. It would take far more quantity to get the same effect and by that time I had usually blacked out/passed out anyway. I seemed to have no control over what happened during those episodes, which scared me.

I wasted so much of my mid twenties to mid thirties, dithering over whether to quit drinking. No doubt in my mind now that I am sober and have the underlying depression being managed, I made the best decision in getting sober.

jocata

I can relate to the depression. Alcohol only made it much worse for me.

Mo S

Well; You have two options:

#1 You can stop now using any number of the tools and resources available to you.

#2 You can continue to drink and suffer the consequences.

I stopped when I was 19 years old. I thought my life was over.
Now, I can WHOLEHEARTEDLY say that my life had just begun.

I wish you the best in making your decision.

I used AA...thats what worked for me....there are many other great resources to help.