New here and had enough
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Manchester
Posts: 1
New here and had enough
Hi guys
I joined a while back but never posted.
I am an alcoholic and have been in denial for many years.
I walked back into AA this week and its finally hit me - What denial is! For the past few years I have been going back and forth to the doctors demmanding that they find out what is wrong with me, I just wouldn't have it that alcohol can make someone so sick.
I've messed up alot. The guilt I feel right now is killing me. I have always been told I can't have kids and last year I got pregnant. You'd think that would be enough to stop a mum from drinking but no. I drank though my pregnancy, I was conivinced I had damaged by baby, I prayed none stop to just let her be ok and I'd never touch a drop again, she was born perfect - I hate myself for it- I know I don't deserve her. I love my baby so much, I know I can't change the past and the risks I put her in but I can get better now and make it up to her, she's 8 mths old now and really needs her mum
I've done many detoxs' but I always thought I would be fine afterwards and carried back on the drink... Aways thinking 'I'n not really an alcholic...
Today I give up the drink. I've had enough of struggling through every minute of every day. I know I'm going to have a rough through days, but it's time for me now, I know you should do it for yourself, but my focus is for my baby.
Thanks for listening
:-)
I joined a while back but never posted.
I am an alcoholic and have been in denial for many years.
I walked back into AA this week and its finally hit me - What denial is! For the past few years I have been going back and forth to the doctors demmanding that they find out what is wrong with me, I just wouldn't have it that alcohol can make someone so sick.
I've messed up alot. The guilt I feel right now is killing me. I have always been told I can't have kids and last year I got pregnant. You'd think that would be enough to stop a mum from drinking but no. I drank though my pregnancy, I was conivinced I had damaged by baby, I prayed none stop to just let her be ok and I'd never touch a drop again, she was born perfect - I hate myself for it- I know I don't deserve her. I love my baby so much, I know I can't change the past and the risks I put her in but I can get better now and make it up to her, she's 8 mths old now and really needs her mum
I've done many detoxs' but I always thought I would be fine afterwards and carried back on the drink... Aways thinking 'I'n not really an alcholic...
Today I give up the drink. I've had enough of struggling through every minute of every day. I know I'm going to have a rough through days, but it's time for me now, I know you should do it for yourself, but my focus is for my baby.
Thanks for listening
:-)
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Hi, boxer. Welcome to SR!
My daughter was 6 years old when I finally quit in 2010. Of course I wish I had quit sooner, just like you, but what'd done is done. And the important thing is I'm sober now, and doing my best to make up for lost time. She was struggling a lot this past year in school, but with booze no longer competing for my attention, I was able to spend time helping her. Well, last night I found out she tested into the school district's gifted and advanced program.
My point is, your baby is just a baby. You have all the time in the world to be the kind of mom you want to be, and to provide the kind of home you want her to have. Beating ourselves up for the past does not change the past. But what we do today most certainly can shape the future.
Try to take some pride in the fact you've made this commitment to yourself and your daughter. It's not easy to quit, but it is so worth it. For your daughter, and also for you.
Glad you found us!
My daughter was 6 years old when I finally quit in 2010. Of course I wish I had quit sooner, just like you, but what'd done is done. And the important thing is I'm sober now, and doing my best to make up for lost time. She was struggling a lot this past year in school, but with booze no longer competing for my attention, I was able to spend time helping her. Well, last night I found out she tested into the school district's gifted and advanced program.
My point is, your baby is just a baby. You have all the time in the world to be the kind of mom you want to be, and to provide the kind of home you want her to have. Beating ourselves up for the past does not change the past. But what we do today most certainly can shape the future.
Try to take some pride in the fact you've made this commitment to yourself and your daughter. It's not easy to quit, but it is so worth it. For your daughter, and also for you.
Glad you found us!
<3 RB u saved my heart <3
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: VA moving back to CA
Posts: 72
Originally Posted by Sapling 
Welcome Boxermad...Keep walking back into AA...Get a sponsor and work the 12 steps...And be the mom you should be...And live the life you should live. And don't drink today.
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