Hi I am new and I think I live with an Alcoholic
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 2
Hi I am new and I think I live with an Alcoholic
Hi, I am just new but I decided to join because just now my husband is laying in the living room floor waisted drunk and I am very depressed, I don't know what to do, I love him but I cannot get him to accept that he have a drinking problem.
My story is that my husband before I meet him he used to drink regulary (in a daily basis) so when we meet each other we agreed he wasnt going to do it, in that moment we moved from a country to another and I was the only one working and as it was my country I had my friends and social circle different than his, so he could spend days and weeks without a drink, he couldn't pay for them and I refused to do it so he didn't have another option than not to drink.
After a while we moved back to his country and so the alcohol came back, he started drinking again this time only on weekends, as he still does it, but he doesn't stop untill he is completely inconcious.
He says that he is not an alcoholic because he never gets a sick day (because he never drink on sunday) for a hangover, or never miss work for any means, but sometimes when he ask me if he can have a beer on a week day and we agree is only going to be one, there is no way to stop him untill he finish all the alcohol he finds on his way ALL OF IT. Tell me if that is not a drinking problem.
I want him to accept it and be a normal human being, someone who socially drink and can be in control of what he drinks and know when to stop even though there is still more beer in the fridge.
I would appreciate any help.
My story is that my husband before I meet him he used to drink regulary (in a daily basis) so when we meet each other we agreed he wasnt going to do it, in that moment we moved from a country to another and I was the only one working and as it was my country I had my friends and social circle different than his, so he could spend days and weeks without a drink, he couldn't pay for them and I refused to do it so he didn't have another option than not to drink.
After a while we moved back to his country and so the alcohol came back, he started drinking again this time only on weekends, as he still does it, but he doesn't stop untill he is completely inconcious.
He says that he is not an alcoholic because he never gets a sick day (because he never drink on sunday) for a hangover, or never miss work for any means, but sometimes when he ask me if he can have a beer on a week day and we agree is only going to be one, there is no way to stop him untill he finish all the alcohol he finds on his way ALL OF IT. Tell me if that is not a drinking problem.
I want him to accept it and be a normal human being, someone who socially drink and can be in control of what he drinks and know when to stop even though there is still more beer in the fridge.
I would appreciate any help.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi Cyn
Unfortunately many of us have found once we cross a line, we can't go back to being like normal human being, who can socially drink and can be in control of what we drink and know when to stop.
The only solution I found was to stop drinking, but it had to be my internal choice, and first I had to acknowledge I had a problem.
It might be your husband is like this too.
I think it's important foir the loved ones of people with drinking problems to have support from people who've been there.
Have you checked out our Family and Friends forums? You'll find a lot of help and support down there as well
D
Unfortunately many of us have found once we cross a line, we can't go back to being like normal human being, who can socially drink and can be in control of what we drink and know when to stop.
The only solution I found was to stop drinking, but it had to be my internal choice, and first I had to acknowledge I had a problem.
It might be your husband is like this too.
I think it's important foir the loved ones of people with drinking problems to have support from people who've been there.
Have you checked out our Family and Friends forums? You'll find a lot of help and support down there as well
D
Meow
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: The Great Lakes State
Posts: 1,585
You can't make him accept that he has a problem. He has to come to that determination himself. What you can do is learn how to take care of yourself in this situation - how to deal with his addiction, or not deal with it is your case may be (ie leave the situation). Nothing you do causes him to behave the way he does, and nothing you do can stop him from doing so if he wants to.
(((Cyn)))
Let me edit this - for some drinkers, the urging of/education from others actually does work, so I shouldn't give you a blanket statement. Each person is different, and it may well be that you can help him to change. However, don't be surprised if you can't.
(((Cyn)))
Let me edit this - for some drinkers, the urging of/education from others actually does work, so I shouldn't give you a blanket statement. Each person is different, and it may well be that you can help him to change. However, don't be surprised if you can't.
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