Getting out of a funk
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,635
Getting out of a funk
Thankfully I was able to hit two meetings today and talk to my sponsor and other friends in AA.
I was feeling seriously uncomfortable this weekend and this morning. The mug shot discovery set off a series of anxiety attacks and caused me to worry about stuff. It was like a chain reaction.
Do you guys do this? I was like, I will never get a job, what if I get divorced, no one loves me, I am going to freak out, I will never make the money I used to, what if I get cancer, my past will haunt me forever.....
Don't get me wrong, I still do not feel great. But I prayed about it and I am going to continue to. I can't control things. I have to focus on the now and what I am doing now for my recovery. If I sit in the past and have a pity party, I am going to drink. I was actually thinking how nice it would be to change the way I was feeling. Via chemically. Not drinking, but smoking pot. Thank God I did not go there because I know it would have made things worse and made me a paranoid lunatic.
So guess what I did when I got home from the meetings? I worked out. I blasted some music and got out my frustrations.
It worked!!!
I was feeling seriously uncomfortable this weekend and this morning. The mug shot discovery set off a series of anxiety attacks and caused me to worry about stuff. It was like a chain reaction.
Do you guys do this? I was like, I will never get a job, what if I get divorced, no one loves me, I am going to freak out, I will never make the money I used to, what if I get cancer, my past will haunt me forever.....
Don't get me wrong, I still do not feel great. But I prayed about it and I am going to continue to. I can't control things. I have to focus on the now and what I am doing now for my recovery. If I sit in the past and have a pity party, I am going to drink. I was actually thinking how nice it would be to change the way I was feeling. Via chemically. Not drinking, but smoking pot. Thank God I did not go there because I know it would have made things worse and made me a paranoid lunatic.
So guess what I did when I got home from the meetings? I worked out. I blasted some music and got out my frustrations.
It worked!!!
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Sounds to me like you're doing all the right things.
When something like that stresses me out I do the same thing ..... what if this? what if that? It can go on and on. Prayer just calms me down and well, it works pretty well.
After I quit drinking, I had a time where I thought may be I'd start smoking pot. I NEVER even liked the stuff a little bit ...... what crazy thinking! Luckily, like you, I was able to recognize why I was thinking that way and where it would end up taking me.
When something like that stresses me out I do the same thing ..... what if this? what if that? It can go on and on. Prayer just calms me down and well, it works pretty well.
After I quit drinking, I had a time where I thought may be I'd start smoking pot. I NEVER even liked the stuff a little bit ...... what crazy thinking! Luckily, like you, I was able to recognize why I was thinking that way and where it would end up taking me.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: in the shadow of the rockies
Posts: 338
tons of acronyms for FEAR- Future Events Appearing Real is one that i keep in mind- gets me back to that 2nd and 3rd step wherein i let go of the insanity of predicting how all this was gonna play out.
Congrats on doing the work- hitting meetings, taking care of yourself as well as acting in such a way that the 'tape loop' couldn't take over... awesome!
Congrats on doing the work- hitting meetings, taking care of yourself as well as acting in such a way that the 'tape loop' couldn't take over... awesome!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
I think you did GREAT! I haven't ever had my mug shot out there for everyone to see (not that I know of, anyway) but I can totally get lost in the "what-if's".
I'm back in school, back in the healthcare field, even though I lost my nursing career to addiction. I can go crazy on thinking about getting a job - there are hospitals I can NOT work at. I have a lot of previous jobs who will answer "would you rehire her" with a "NO".
I pray, I keep putting one foot in front of the other, I'm making really good grades. I've been honest with the program director at school, as well as an instructor and they are very, very supportive. My instructor, in particular, after I spilled my guts about my addiction and recovery said "okay, we can deal with this". WE? OMG, someone is willing to look past my addiction and toward my future! My classes are online, never met her, but the very fact that SHE can look past my past, gives me hope.
I've even opened up to a couple of classmates that are nothing but supportive. I admit...had to get to "know" them (online) and was really scared, but it was nothing like I thought it was going to be...that "oh" and silence.
You reached out for support. You worked off that negative energy. You did awesome! Your mug shot will fade to gray in time. I've never seen any of mine, but if I did? It would just be a reminder of why I don't want to go back to that way of life, thanks to recovery.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I'm back in school, back in the healthcare field, even though I lost my nursing career to addiction. I can go crazy on thinking about getting a job - there are hospitals I can NOT work at. I have a lot of previous jobs who will answer "would you rehire her" with a "NO".
I pray, I keep putting one foot in front of the other, I'm making really good grades. I've been honest with the program director at school, as well as an instructor and they are very, very supportive. My instructor, in particular, after I spilled my guts about my addiction and recovery said "okay, we can deal with this". WE? OMG, someone is willing to look past my addiction and toward my future! My classes are online, never met her, but the very fact that SHE can look past my past, gives me hope.
I've even opened up to a couple of classmates that are nothing but supportive. I admit...had to get to "know" them (online) and was really scared, but it was nothing like I thought it was going to be...that "oh" and silence.
You reached out for support. You worked off that negative energy. You did awesome! Your mug shot will fade to gray in time. I've never seen any of mine, but if I did? It would just be a reminder of why I don't want to go back to that way of life, thanks to recovery.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,635
Thanks Amy!!
I am in school also! In the healthcare field. Just not sure what I want to be when I grow up yet
Right now it is healthcare management. I might PM you to chat you up about possibilities.
I am in school also! In the healthcare field. Just not sure what I want to be when I grow up yet
Right now it is healthcare management. I might PM you to chat you up about possibilities.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Elisabeth, my thought patterns used to go just like yours did. Something would trigger me and I would be off. You did the right thing by getting into some music. That usually works well for me too. Or get outside and take a walk. Just do whatever you can to take your mind off things.
Peace, Love, Sobriety
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 1,549
When you start having negative thoughts like that just distract yourself. You handled it the right way! I used to worry myself sick every night with those chain "what if..." thoughts. And then I'd drink just so I could sleep, and that led to even worse things.
*Grateful*
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,619
Elizabeth,
That happens to me a LOT, but I am learning little by little to catch my thoughts earlier and earlier and cast them down. They are not from God or whomever your HP is. They are not real, you are now learning how to discern truth from lies now that you are sober. Just remember they are lies and don't believe them. Make a conscious effort to say, NOPE i will not think about that, there is no proof of that and change your minds thoughts. It works!
Lily
That happens to me a LOT, but I am learning little by little to catch my thoughts earlier and earlier and cast them down. They are not from God or whomever your HP is. They are not real, you are now learning how to discern truth from lies now that you are sober. Just remember they are lies and don't believe them. Make a conscious effort to say, NOPE i will not think about that, there is no proof of that and change your minds thoughts. It works!
Lily
Peace, Love, Sobriety
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 1,549
Originally Posted by Impurrfect 
(((Elisabeth))) - pm me any time. I'm not sure what I want to be when I grow up either, and I'm 50!!!!
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
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