Anxiety ...
Choosing Life
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 1,435
Anxiety ...
Good morning to all. I hope you are enjoying a lovely, sober Monday!
Going on Day 45 here and feeling pretty good for the most part, but over the past couple of weeks, I've been feeling kind of unsettled. Nothing I can really put my finger on, just feeling a bit out of sorts. Very strange. Then I can be going along just peachy and out of the blue I'll suddenly feel this sensation of "doom", and I'll get anxious and almost panicky. I almost feel like crawling out of my skin. It comes and goes in waves and tends to catch me off-guard.
So ... is this normal? Suggestions for how to calm down? I really don't want to go to the doctor and ask for anxiety medications. Too easy to get hooked on them and very hard to come off of them. But sometimes just closing my eyes and taking a couple of deep breaths doesn't quite cut it. Blah!! Help!!
Going on Day 45 here and feeling pretty good for the most part, but over the past couple of weeks, I've been feeling kind of unsettled. Nothing I can really put my finger on, just feeling a bit out of sorts. Very strange. Then I can be going along just peachy and out of the blue I'll suddenly feel this sensation of "doom", and I'll get anxious and almost panicky. I almost feel like crawling out of my skin. It comes and goes in waves and tends to catch me off-guard.
So ... is this normal? Suggestions for how to calm down? I really don't want to go to the doctor and ask for anxiety medications. Too easy to get hooked on them and very hard to come off of them. But sometimes just closing my eyes and taking a couple of deep breaths doesn't quite cut it. Blah!! Help!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: NJ
Posts: 594
Hey DS-
I was going to a Dr. the first year of sobriety and he diagnosed me with GAD(general anxiety dissorded). He put me on a non narrcotic anti anxiety med. I don't think I would be as settled in sobriety without it. I think in the early stages of sobriety our bodies are still getting used to not having something to bring us instant gratification and that used to make me a little depressed. I hope you feel better! Think of the wonderful accomplishment your son just made! Go to an AA meeting (if you use AA). IT gets better!!!
I was going to a Dr. the first year of sobriety and he diagnosed me with GAD(general anxiety dissorded). He put me on a non narrcotic anti anxiety med. I don't think I would be as settled in sobriety without it. I think in the early stages of sobriety our bodies are still getting used to not having something to bring us instant gratification and that used to make me a little depressed. I hope you feel better! Think of the wonderful accomplishment your son just made! Go to an AA meeting (if you use AA). IT gets better!!!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,518
I don't want to be on anxiety meds either, so I try to deal with the anxiety.
I have a lot of different things that I do. I try to be really careful to not take on too much because I know that I need time to decompress every day. I keep music handy that I have chosen to help get me outside of my head. Something I learned from Eckhart Tolle's book is that watching news on TV or a suspense/drama in the evening, can trigger my anxiety. I use self-talk and the Serenity Prayer. And try to remember that the anxiety is just a feeling. You can experience it and let it go.
I have a lot of different things that I do. I try to be really careful to not take on too much because I know that I need time to decompress every day. I keep music handy that I have chosen to help get me outside of my head. Something I learned from Eckhart Tolle's book is that watching news on TV or a suspense/drama in the evening, can trigger my anxiety. I use self-talk and the Serenity Prayer. And try to remember that the anxiety is just a feeling. You can experience it and let it go.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 617
I've had the same problem lately - I've just hit 4 months. Some days I would feel anxiety and the "skin-crawling" feeling. It is horrible isn't it? My heart also felt "funny/pounding".
I'm not really sure what was causing it. In an effort to feel better (I do not want meds either) I've also quit watching so much news. For some reason I can read about the news but watching the "talking heads" at night makes me crazy. I've also been trying to eat better and just keep my general stress level down.
Another thing I stopped at the end of last week was drinking Red Bull. I think the taurine that is in it was affecting me. Within 36 hours of stopping them I felt calmer and I haven't had an "incident" since. It may only be coincidental but so far so good. I'll take it!! I don't think it was the caffeine because I drink coffee all day with no adverse reaction.
I used to drink RB and not feel it at all but since quitting drinking I've been more sensitive to chemicals etc... Who knows.
Hope you feel better real soon - it is a horrible feeling isn't it?
I'm not really sure what was causing it. In an effort to feel better (I do not want meds either) I've also quit watching so much news. For some reason I can read about the news but watching the "talking heads" at night makes me crazy. I've also been trying to eat better and just keep my general stress level down.
Another thing I stopped at the end of last week was drinking Red Bull. I think the taurine that is in it was affecting me. Within 36 hours of stopping them I felt calmer and I haven't had an "incident" since. It may only be coincidental but so far so good. I'll take it!!
I don't think it was the caffeine because I drink coffee all day with no adverse reaction.I used to drink RB and not feel it at all but since quitting drinking I've been more sensitive to chemicals etc... Who knows.
Hope you feel better real soon - it is a horrible feeling isn't it?
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
"Restless, irritable and discontent" is how I felt. The steps of AA helped to change this for me. Try finding a program of recovery (SMART, AVRT, LifeRing, SOS, AA) and invest yourself in it!
Congrats on 45 days!
Congrats on 45 days!
Came to Believe
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Montgomery AL
Posts: 507
I've found that prayer and meditation help a lot with anxiety; basically just taking some time every day to clear my head. A lot of other alcoholics I know go through a period where their level of anxiety goes through the roof out of the blue, myself included, so yeah, I personally think that's pretty normal. The first month or two I took a non-narcotic anxiety med that my doctor prescribed, and I tried to cut caffeine out of my diet as much as possible, and that helped too.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Queens, NY
Posts: 267
DS - my anxiety is why I drank. So for me, it is not that I am feeling anxiety all of a sudden, rather, since I haven't had a drink in 70+ days, I have had to deal or face my anxieties head on. Exercise has been a tremendous source of support and rationality in dealing with my anxieties - but I must admit it has not addressed it (although I'll get to that part in a second). While I was drinking, I would run or workout every other day. Since sobriety, I have shifted to a daily regimen of fitness - either running, cycling, swimming, or plyometrics.
What the exercise does for me is elevate my heart rate for a sustained period of time. During that process, I invariably have some sort of chemical release (endorphin) that just seems to slow everything down in my my mind...which ironically slows my heart pace down for the rest of the day. I say ironically because i have to speed it up to have it slow down. The key here is that although my mind slows down, it's not that either my productivity or output slows down. It's kind of like slow motion - everything is still happening as quick as it was, only now i can see everything so clearly.
What this has done is allowed me to see the triggers that were fostering my anxieties. This is what I meant by it is not dealing with them, just helping me to recognize them while my mind is in the best possible position to address them. i.e. I'm calm, collected, and "positively" prone...ie. if given the choice between viewing the cup as half empty or half full, after a workout, I'm always concluding half full.
Now to some examples of my anxieties:
- I get anxious for a host of reasons. My job right now although excellent from an opportunity perspective, and situates me perfectly from an industry i want to get into, has a huge amount of financial variability tied to it. At the same time, my wife and I own a franchise with a lease expiring in 2 years, and have some rental properties that are up for lease renewal in June. On Saturday my wife was chatting to me about the next steps after franchise lease expiration, and things we had to do to get ready for the rental lease expirations. I immediately clammed down and became silent. My first impulse was to grab a glass of wine. Fortunately, I had just finished a run, and could see my anxiety build up. And the culprit had nothing to do with the discussion points my wife was having, rather, that i have an unsettled feeling about my job and its uncertainty, and her raising the financial exposure of losing our franchise lease and rental property, just got me very concerned again about all the moving parts in our comp. FOR THE FIRST TIME, I VERBALIZED MY ANXIETY TO MY WIFE...and only because i could see it coming on and why. It did so much that she calmed me down, pointed out that we still have 2 years on the franchise, and all our tenants are likely to renew, we just have to go through the motions...which is only logical.
- I get very anxious when i travel away from my family. I recently realized that the reason i get anxious (which manifests itself Sunday night when I try to delay sleep because I will wake up the next morning and get on a plane and leave) is because my family is the one place I feel safe. Nobody in my family is in a position to judge or evaluate me. Since I was a child, I have always felt like I have to perform super successfully to everybody around me. While this has resulted in huge reward and position acceleration professionally, it makes me a mental nutcase and fosters huge anxieties. When i drilled into that a little further, the reason i feel this anxiety before a board meeting, or a company wide presentation, or a customer presentation is the fear that somebody will call my bluff - i.e. Realize that I'm not as smart as they gave me credit for. One step further, I realized that if I delayed or deferred getting something done that was important in my job, this caused me the same anxiety for the same reasons. Two things that slowing my mind through exercise helped me realize: a) I at all costs try not to defer things. This may seem obvious, but I'm sure many of us put things off that can be done tomorrow or the day after. For me, until it's done, it continues to build up my anxieties that just spring on me at random times. b) I try to make sure that I am expert on my subject matter, but am also ok that if I don't know something, I'm better off saying I don't know. The faith part comes from believing that not all people are trying to call you out, they generally may just want to know. So saying, "I don't know, will research it and get back to you" is actually an ok answer.
These are just two examples - I can go into my anxieties about spending a lot of money on furniture and fearing their damage so minimizing their use, not being able to keep my weight off, not optimizing my shower routine, you name it, i have them. The best I can suggest is find an outlet that slows your thinking, and when the real anxiety hits - to Thy Own Self Be True. Try to self-reflect and really get to the issue at hand.
What the exercise does for me is elevate my heart rate for a sustained period of time. During that process, I invariably have some sort of chemical release (endorphin) that just seems to slow everything down in my my mind...which ironically slows my heart pace down for the rest of the day. I say ironically because i have to speed it up to have it slow down. The key here is that although my mind slows down, it's not that either my productivity or output slows down. It's kind of like slow motion - everything is still happening as quick as it was, only now i can see everything so clearly.
What this has done is allowed me to see the triggers that were fostering my anxieties. This is what I meant by it is not dealing with them, just helping me to recognize them while my mind is in the best possible position to address them. i.e. I'm calm, collected, and "positively" prone...ie. if given the choice between viewing the cup as half empty or half full, after a workout, I'm always concluding half full.
Now to some examples of my anxieties:
- I get anxious for a host of reasons. My job right now although excellent from an opportunity perspective, and situates me perfectly from an industry i want to get into, has a huge amount of financial variability tied to it. At the same time, my wife and I own a franchise with a lease expiring in 2 years, and have some rental properties that are up for lease renewal in June. On Saturday my wife was chatting to me about the next steps after franchise lease expiration, and things we had to do to get ready for the rental lease expirations. I immediately clammed down and became silent. My first impulse was to grab a glass of wine. Fortunately, I had just finished a run, and could see my anxiety build up. And the culprit had nothing to do with the discussion points my wife was having, rather, that i have an unsettled feeling about my job and its uncertainty, and her raising the financial exposure of losing our franchise lease and rental property, just got me very concerned again about all the moving parts in our comp. FOR THE FIRST TIME, I VERBALIZED MY ANXIETY TO MY WIFE...and only because i could see it coming on and why. It did so much that she calmed me down, pointed out that we still have 2 years on the franchise, and all our tenants are likely to renew, we just have to go through the motions...which is only logical.
- I get very anxious when i travel away from my family. I recently realized that the reason i get anxious (which manifests itself Sunday night when I try to delay sleep because I will wake up the next morning and get on a plane and leave) is because my family is the one place I feel safe. Nobody in my family is in a position to judge or evaluate me. Since I was a child, I have always felt like I have to perform super successfully to everybody around me. While this has resulted in huge reward and position acceleration professionally, it makes me a mental nutcase and fosters huge anxieties. When i drilled into that a little further, the reason i feel this anxiety before a board meeting, or a company wide presentation, or a customer presentation is the fear that somebody will call my bluff - i.e. Realize that I'm not as smart as they gave me credit for. One step further, I realized that if I delayed or deferred getting something done that was important in my job, this caused me the same anxiety for the same reasons. Two things that slowing my mind through exercise helped me realize: a) I at all costs try not to defer things. This may seem obvious, but I'm sure many of us put things off that can be done tomorrow or the day after. For me, until it's done, it continues to build up my anxieties that just spring on me at random times. b) I try to make sure that I am expert on my subject matter, but am also ok that if I don't know something, I'm better off saying I don't know. The faith part comes from believing that not all people are trying to call you out, they generally may just want to know. So saying, "I don't know, will research it and get back to you" is actually an ok answer.
These are just two examples - I can go into my anxieties about spending a lot of money on furniture and fearing their damage so minimizing their use, not being able to keep my weight off, not optimizing my shower routine, you name it, i have them. The best I can suggest is find an outlet that slows your thinking, and when the real anxiety hits - to Thy Own Self Be True. Try to self-reflect and really get to the issue at hand.
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