quitforme79

So my therapist feels that I haven't come to grips with the extent of my alcohol problem because I don't want to go to AA. I considered it but just don't want to. I am now 32 days in, going to see her every week and reading a lot of self help books. In short, I am really trying hard to work on myself in all facets and stay sober. I will admit as I did to her that when I think of certain things in my future, I fantasize about drinking while there. I can't say to myself right now that I won't, I just can't project that far at this point. I also I admit I have a disastrous relationship with alcohol. I am aware of that. I live day by day and that has helped me get this time under my belt (along with SR of course). I don't feel it's fair that she says that about AA. I know many of you here have gotten and stayed sober without it. I am feeling somewhat defeated right now. I know I have a long way to go but do labels have to be made in order to stay clean? Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

Dee74

It's not your therapists job to decide what's right for you quit, it's yours.

I think I see her point tho - if you're still struggling with the idea of never drinking again, maybe you need to consider whether you feel you need more support than therapy and SR?

If you decide you do, you probably owe it to yourself to at least try AA - along with SMART, Rational Recovery, LifeRing and anything else you can find

D

dorito281211

You do what works for you, the. If nothing else works-AA then I guess.
Stay strong

sugarbear1

I just don't drink today. It keeps my mind at bay. If I choose to drink, I can do that, maybe tomorrow.

Today is fine and dandy as it is. All is calm.

I wish you well in your sober journey!

michelle01

Yes people do get sober without AA, more than 2 years here. However, I think it does have a few extra challenges, it's not necessarily easier than doing the steps. (With or without AA, I think we all need to confront some realities and truths about ourselves and our lives that we've tried hard to avoid.) You have to be prepared to be responsible and to inform yourself, with an open mind. The main reason I don't attend meetings is the long distance I would have to travel, however I did enjoy them, and I think it pays to research about different forms of recovery. Many people are very nervous about attending their first AA meeting, then when they get there they are fine and find it helpful. You are not forced to do anything at your first meeting. So maybe you would just like to test your own impressions in a real environment.

I did make sure that I had backup support, even though I don't do AA - I get pretty good support from my doctor, specialist, counsellor and local health centre. I try to keep an open mind about recovery, I don't think you can afford to write off any option to stay sober - I'm still willing to do whatever it takes. Good luck with your own journey whatever you decide

quitforme79

Thanks all and Dee I never heard of lifering ...I will look into all three of those. I see her point as well, it IS a hard thing for me to accept not that I won't drink again but that I failed myself in somehow letting things get too far :/ I am successful and driven in most areas of my life, I tend to view my self medicating as a real weakness (I'm working on that with the therapist) but I really do truley struggle with accepting it. All I know is that I want to be happy and much happier I am being sober. I'm right with you sugarbear...sometimes that's how I get thru the day

sugarbear1

If you do choose to get to AA, you will at least make some sober friends to hang out with when you are bored. Sober bowling, rafting, movies, coffee shops; they are all really fun when you can remember conversations and the laughter you've had together!

Dee74

here's some links to some of the main recovery methods:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you might be interested in a non 12 step approach

D

FlyerFan

Have you at least given it a try? I used to be totally against it myself but 2 weeks ago I dragged myself in to a meeting finally and I feel so much better now. It is relief to hear the stories of other people and know you are not alone, and it gives you confidence. For me it does anyhow.

Whichever path you choose, as long as you do not drink today, it will work.

eJoshua

Whatever you do, don't go to AA just to make your therapist happy. That kind of people pleasing won't do you any good in the long run.

quitforme79

Hey flyer...no I haven't tried it. I did used to go with my father when I was little but would be in the "kiddie room" haha I think in some deep rooted way, the rooms bring back bad memories as those were bad times in my life as child..who the heck knows? Maybe I will try it one day, you never know where life leads!

quitforme79

Very true ejoshua and no I won't do that. I hear each recovery journey is unique although we all share a lot of the same struggles so what works for one doesn't always work for another

Anna

I agree that you should do what feels comfortable to you, not your therapist. You're right, many of us here have recovered without using AA. I truly believe it depends on one's motivation, not the program you choose.

And, you have 32 days of sobriety, so how can you feel defeated?

quitforme79

That's true Anna...I felt a bit discouraged but that was only a fleeting feeling. After posting here, having some dinner and relaxing in my pj's I am one day healthier in all ways. Thanks

katrinka

I haven't gone to AA because I live in a small town where everyone knows you're business and I work in the public sector. I'm afraid of repercussions. I'm doing this on my own but I'm open to other options and will check out Dee's list.

katrinka

I just wanted to add that these forums have been invaluable to me so I'm not really doing it on my own.

FlyerFan

Those kind of towns can be a little bit annoying cant they?


I was worried I'd see someone i knew, and I did see a few people from work but they never mentioned it, its the code. Like what happens in vegas stays in vegas, except in the meetings, lol.

MemphisBlues

Did AA keep your father sober?

You joined this site a few months ago, and have 32 days of abstinence. Maybe that's why your therapist recommends AA.

I suspect most people get sober without AA. I didn't. I couldn't.

Why not give it a try?

mari1405

Congrats on 32 days! I'm new to all of this. I'm 3 weeks sober. My psychiatrist put me in an outpatient rehab program. This is the start of the 4th week. The rehab program pretty much forces you to attend AA meetings. I've been having a real hard time with that. However, there is a women's only meeting that the group counselor has been letting me attend (it's on Monday nights, and the rehab is Mon - Thurs nights). I went to that meeting tonight and felt really good. All the women came up to me and hugged me and shook my hand and introduced themselves to me.

I really feel a connection there with the other women. They range in age from very young to age 80! Maybe if you could find a women's only meeting it might make you feel a little better? They will not judge you at all because they've all been through it. You don't even have to say anything at all. Just listen to what they say.

Good luck with your recovery journey. Just don't give up, because you are worth it!!

StPeteGrad

I'm in the same camp as sugarbear.

I also have 24 hours sober. There are few before 24 hours before that too and they just happen to run consecutively. I don't concern myself with what tomorrow will bring concerning alcohol since I can only practice sobriety today.

AA defies logic as to how or why it works (even though they say why at the beginning of each meeting).

Whether you need to do something different or not is your own choice. I've been chatting with a friend here that chooses AVRT and it seems to work well for him. We all need different things for our recovery to be successful and rewarding.