JillGorges87

I am so anxious right now! I really need to get to a meeting but where I live there is only 1 meeting during the week on Monday nights. The only weekend ones are over an hour away and in the early morning. So this is the best option I have right now.

My husband has been sober two weeks. He went to 2 meetings at first but doesn't go anynore. this is because he now admits if It wasn't for me leaving until he got sober he would have never stopped drinking in the first place. I forced him into it Is how he feels. We went to dinner last night and he asked me if I had a problem with him ordering a beer. Of course I said yes it was a problem with me and that if he did I cant stop him but that he couldn't come back to the house. My boundary is no drinking at our home anymore. He was not happy with my answer but respected my boundary and ordered a soda instead. Then today we were talking about his birthday coming up and he said it would be fun to go out to a bar. HAHA! Oh yes how fun to watch you get hammered. No way am I taking part in that. I am so anxious because I know he has no plans to stay sober and I hate thinking of going back to that place. I am financially dependant on him and I cant just take my two children and leave. I'm coming to realize that unless some miracle happens our marriage is not going to last. Ugh I feel sick thinking about It! So ya I guess I just needed to vent!

dollydo

Perhaps it may be time to search for a job and make a plan for your and your childrens exit, your childrens future lies in the palm of your hand.

Keep posting and reading, it will help.

JillGorges87

Ya that's the problem. We are in 29 palms right now, he is in the military. Its a super small town finding a job Is almost Impossible. The other thing Is my credit, I have an eviction from when I was barely 18. Trying to help my dad who was an addict, long story but go figure. So I can't even qualify to get a place. I can't even have a bank account because the place that has the eviction sent it to a law office and 2 years ago wiped out all of our checking and savings and put a lien on my accounts. Even if I wanted to open one I can't because of an active lien and they will just do It to any other account i have. I owe them almost 6grand not including other things on my credit. I feel so stuck.

Willybluedog

Jill,

My father is a landlord, he gives people like you second chances, I know there are others like him out there, the most important thing is to be hinest when you go to apply for an apartment, not everyone will be sympathetic but some will, also you should talk to an attorney, if your husband goes back to living in the barracks and pays you child support you may be able to find a place.

Obviously he is not going to stay sober because he quit for you, not for himself, have you looked at al-anon online? Maybe that would be a fill-in when you get anxious.

Best of luck and big hugs,

Bill

seek

I also want to say that there are lots of kind people out there - there is someone who will give you a job - don't close your mind to it - and someone will rent you an apartment - think positive and make plans to move ahead, get out of debt and change your life for the better. There is hope - "it works if you work it"

JillGorges87

Thanks for the advise everyone! And like I thought the sobriety was short lived. Put to dinner and what do you know "I want to enjoy a beer with dinner" well i hope he enjoys being without his family
because I can't live a life like this.

quetzal

I'm sorry this is happening, there are options out there - you just have to be ready to look for them and ask the universe for guidance. Do you have anyone you can stay with for a bit so that you can get settled somewhere else? It may be difficult and uncomfortable to leave and change is always this way. The fact that you are putting this energy out shows that it may be time to accept that the situation isn't where you want it to be. When you start to reach out for a different life you'll see options come your way. Stay open to leaving, even if it's scary... big hugs!!!