OneSpark

Wow, I almost drank today without even blinking. I had such a ****** day at work that the old impulse to get hammered came strong and hard. Luckily I didn't have enough money in my wallet to buy anything at the store, so I came home first and got a chance to null things over. 21 days is the longest period of sobriety I've had in eleven years. It makes it easy to think I don't really have a problem anymore. But I know once I allow myself a few drinks one night (just this one night mate, then we can hope back on the wagon) there's no stopping it. The Beast is out. I've known for years I've had a problem, and this isn't my first time trying to sober up. But it is the most successful....so far.

I tried AA meetings before but they didn't really help me much. I've never really liked classroom settings, and to me that's what the meetings felt like. Plus (and this may only be at the meetings I've gone to) everyone just seems to repeat phrases from the Big Book. I know it helps people, but some of the thinking in AA doesn't appeal to me, especially the notion that they are the ONLY WAY and if you ever leave them you'll be a "dry drunk" and not really recovered.

I hope I don't offend anyone. I'm just happy to have 21 days for the first time in a decade. Makes me think a lot more is possible.

I'm starting to hunker down to the fact that I have to fight this battle everyday. Everyday I have to decide not to drink and follow through. It's gotten easier, but that doesn't make the battles any less epic...monstrous....global....mind-boggling. haha

Time for cookies and soda.

Dazee

Congrats on 21 days. And good for you for catching yourself before it was too late.

ElegantlyWasted

Can relate. Had to run to the store a couple times tonight and the liquor isle was calling (screaming ) for me as was the Circle K. The BEAST indeed. Keep it rockin. Congrats on 21.

justhadenough

maybe read Rational Recovery if you've not already done so. I found it a great help.

Healthyfood

OneSpark

Im happy that you rejected this short time pleasure and moved on. Well done.

Everyday battle is because the brain is still recovering. As soon as it finds something to be happy for it will let those battles go.

In my case, I have no choice but stay off it, if not there is no dry future. I sometimes think about pets. They don't need a drink, they are happy, do they need smoke? No. They are happy anyway.

Purplecatlover

OS, congrats on passing it up. I had a brutal week myself but I knew drinking would only be punishing myself. I woke up refreshed & happy. No hangover. No anxiety. It feels great. Just do something else until the urge passes. Read & post on SR. Whatever it takes to not pick up that first drink.

Dee74

Congrats on 21 days OneSpark
AA's not the only method around - if you want info on others, read around

D