1undone

As I vented in my earlier thread, I'm just sick of thinking or talking about alcohol in and out of AA. I don't want my every waking hour to be about my addiction. I know it's ironic I'm typing this here but I just need to say this.

It's almost as if I'm getting burnt out on AA and just addiction stuff in general. I would love to have ONE day where alcohol is not a thought or topic of conversation for me.

I just feel exhausted and like I want to just be left alone.

Dee74

I think thats a common thing - I've seen people here say they feel like we've replaced an addiction to alcohol or drugs with one for recovery.

I don't think it's the same tho. With recovery I'm moving forward, not idling, I'm making myself better, not worse, I'm giving back, not taking away...

It could be you need more balance in your life 1un?
maybe you need to relax a little more, or maybe you just need some 'me time' ?

But I'd really look at anything in your head that's telling you that to keep working on your recovery is a bad idea - cos it's not

Without my recovery, I got nuthin' - & everything else I hold dear is at risk.

D

Elisabeth888

I agree with Dee about balance. It sounds like you need a hobby or a good non addiction based book to curl up with.

Or how about some trash tv?

Sapling

For me...That will be the day I drink...I go to meetings to remind myself what I am and where I was. I didn't have any problems thinking and talking about alcohol every day when I was drinking...

1undone

Thanks all. Sapling I did get tired of drinking and talking about it, that's why I'm recovering. Glad I stayed home, I feel a bit better.

Terminally Unique

I have to do this with recovery forums when I start feeling burnt-out. Sometimes you just need a break.

flamingredhair

If it makes you feel any better, you aren't alone.

flamingredhair

That's exactly what motivated me to start a "fun" thread about the little things we appreciate about sobriety. 'Cause thinking about it non-stop can drive you crazy.

Threshold

Yeah, I get burned out on it too. I mean, I am in recovery so I can HAVE a life, not so it can BE my life. Like others say, find some other things you enjoy. Now that you are free to enjoy them.

sugarbear1

Switch up your meetings and meet new people when you return to meetings. In the beginning, there was 1 meeting a week. Make friends & enjoy sober gatherings! I commited to 3 meetings a week. I often make it to more, and sometimes I don't. Make a well rounded sober life for yourself! Have you read NotGod, A History of AA? So much to read & do today!

Dee74

how are you doing today 1undone?

D

michelle01

I know that it's tough. But I eventually found things to get myself out of the mindset of feeling miserable and sorry for myself because I couldn't drink. (Two years in, I genuinely don't miss it now most of the time.) I had to get my focus off that, the feeling of being deprived, because it didn't make me feel any better. I'm not saying that you should disengage from your recovery. Or that you should sidestep some of the weightier issues of recovery, we do need to grieve alcohol. But I have heard many times... it's good sometimes to just make a gratitude list, of the positive reasons for maintaining recovery, and to find some positive interests to enjoy sober (rather than focusing on not being able to drink and missing it). No matter how simple they may be to begin with.

Yes abstinence is important in recovery, but recovery itself is far more than that. You can be walking around, alcohol free and sober... and still not have moved on much in your mindset from your drinking/using days, and it can tend to colour everything. I had to learn to stop looking for quick fixes and escapes, as my addict mentality was used to, stop pressing the 'extreme' button on everything and learn to just accept, stay in the moment, appreciate more in the here and now.

It all takes time. I didn't believe it in the beginning and it all sounded simplistic when everyone told me it would eventually get better, but it did. I gradually lost the obsession with alcohol and am free to focus on better, much more worthwhile things in my life - that is priceless.

I always advocate though, if anyone is in a prolonged depressive mood during recovery, maybe it's worth getting checked out medically. I found I had underlying clinical depression, from before my pre drinking days. I self medicated with alcohol but in the long run, it only made it worse because alcohol itself is a depressant overall.

Anna

I think it's important to pay attention to your feelings, just as you're doing. Balance is crucial for me, in my recovery.

1undone

Hi all! Did go to a speaker meeting tonight although in typical fashion I couldn't find this new meeting place because every meeting is hidden! LOL. Anyway it was a good meeting but I did take some time to focus on other things and it was actually good for me.

Tomorrow is the women's group I go to and it's the one I seem to walk away with an icky feeling from but I'm giving it a few more chances before I find a new one. It was refreshing to go to a different one tonight though. I will probably go to different meetings next week.

To be honest I feel the most hopeful and grounded when I come here or meet up with one of my AA peers one on one. The groups are wearing on me BUT I have to make myself go for now.

I'll keep the variety going.

Sapling

How are you doing on the steps?...Putting any time into that?

michelle01

That may be the answer 1undone - to try a different group and see what the vibe is like there for you. Sometimes I have to force myself to do things I don't really feel like, I'm often glad I did make myself do it afterwards. Sometimes we may have a legitimate excuse for not wanting to do something, but it can also be the addiction talking, care needs to be taken with that.

Itchy

I am so glad you got it together and feel a bit better. I had the same feelings about here and sobriety for a bit early on in my sobriety too. But now I am really over the recovery part, and am tickled to try to give back a bit. Recovery is not my life, recovered is. But dang if I didn't have to go the long way through recovery to get here. For those who have fought for it, sobriety has a taste the "normies" will never know.