Living in fear - daily reading from Families Anonymous
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 227
Living in fear - daily reading from Families Anonymous
Living In Fear
In dealing with the person close to me who misuses drugs, my reactions take
many forms. *Anxiety, fear, worry, and obsession are the chief ones. *When
I let it run wild, my imagination creates ever-new fears to replace the old
ones. *The short-lived relief when something I dreaded doesn't happen is
all too often replaced by still more fears.
This is the *insanity we speak of in regard to the family disease of
addiction - allowing absorption with it to become an obsession that drains
all our energy for appreciating the gifts of life today.
I must consider alternatives or face serious consequences. *My life is at
stake. *How long can I survive in the grip of such damaging fear? *After
all, I have accomplished nothing with my constant worry about what might
happen tomorrow. *When I calm down enough to examine my fears, I see that
most of them concern the future.
When I project a future that may never happen, I am only borrowing
trouble. *Living one day at a time is the only way to have a life.
TODAY I WILL name my fear and let it go, and look for the gifts of this one
day.
In dealing with the person close to me who misuses drugs, my reactions take
many forms. *Anxiety, fear, worry, and obsession are the chief ones. *When
I let it run wild, my imagination creates ever-new fears to replace the old
ones. *The short-lived relief when something I dreaded doesn't happen is
all too often replaced by still more fears.
This is the *insanity we speak of in regard to the family disease of
addiction - allowing absorption with it to become an obsession that drains
all our energy for appreciating the gifts of life today.
I must consider alternatives or face serious consequences. *My life is at
stake. *How long can I survive in the grip of such damaging fear? *After
all, I have accomplished nothing with my constant worry about what might
happen tomorrow. *When I calm down enough to examine my fears, I see that
most of them concern the future.
When I project a future that may never happen, I am only borrowing
trouble. *Living one day at a time is the only way to have a life.
TODAY I WILL name my fear and let it go, and look for the gifts of this one
day.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Thank you so much for bringing this here because it reminds me to be grateful to be living in faith today, instead of that dark cloud of fear that embraced me for many many years.
The fear was valid, my son is an addict. What if he died (he overdosed several times)? What if the violence of the street got him? What if he committed suicide during one of his deep depressions? What if he got AIDS, or HepC or another deadly disease? What if he got arrested and spent the rest of his life in prison? What if?
These are very valid fears of a person who loves an addict, regardless of what the relationship is. The thing is, the fear itself almost killed "me". Fear can make us very sick, fear can make us do incredibly stupid things (like attempting to kick in the door of a crack house, which was my bottom).
Recovery taught me that I am totally powerless over all these circumstances. Recovery taught me that all the worry and fear in the world could not change the outcome. Recovery taught me how to turn my fear into faith, pray and give my fears to God each day, and then live well, as life was meant to be lived.
How very grateful I am today to recognize fear when it creeps up on me. Today I can look fear in the face and reduce it to size with prayer.
Hugs
The fear was valid, my son is an addict. What if he died (he overdosed several times)? What if the violence of the street got him? What if he committed suicide during one of his deep depressions? What if he got AIDS, or HepC or another deadly disease? What if he got arrested and spent the rest of his life in prison? What if?
These are very valid fears of a person who loves an addict, regardless of what the relationship is. The thing is, the fear itself almost killed "me". Fear can make us very sick, fear can make us do incredibly stupid things (like attempting to kick in the door of a crack house, which was my bottom).
Recovery taught me that I am totally powerless over all these circumstances. Recovery taught me that all the worry and fear in the world could not change the outcome. Recovery taught me how to turn my fear into faith, pray and give my fears to God each day, and then live well, as life was meant to be lived.
How very grateful I am today to recognize fear when it creeps up on me. Today I can look fear in the face and reduce it to size with prayer.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Originally Posted by Heartbroken0608 
In dealing with the person close to me who misuses drugs, my reactions take
many forms. *Anxiety, fear, worry, and obsession are the chief ones. *When I let it run wild........
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: In the South
Posts: 228
wish I were there
Originally Posted by Ann
Thank you so much for bringing this here because it reminds me to be grateful to be living in faith today, instead of that dark cloud of fear that embraced me for many many years.
The fear was valid, my son is an addict. What if he died (he overdosed several times)? What if the violence of the street got him? What if he committed suicide during one of his deep depressions? What if he got AIDS, or HepC or another deadly disease? What if he got arrested and spent the rest of his life in prison? What if?
These are very valid fears of a person who loves an addict, regardless of what the relationship is. The thing is, the fear itself almost killed "me". Fear can make us very sick, fear can make us do incredibly stupid things (like attempting to kick in the door of a crack house, which was my bottom).
Recovery taught me that I am totally powerless over all these circumstances. Recovery taught me that all the worry and fear in the world could not change the outcome. Recovery taught me how to turn my fear into faith, pray and give my fears to God each day, and then live well, as life was meant to be lived.
How very grateful I am today to recognize fear when it creeps up on me. Today I can look fear in the face and reduce it to size with prayer.
Hugs
The fear was valid, my son is an addict. What if he died (he overdosed several times)? What if the violence of the street got him? What if he committed suicide during one of his deep depressions? What if he got AIDS, or HepC or another deadly disease? What if he got arrested and spent the rest of his life in prison? What if?
These are very valid fears of a person who loves an addict, regardless of what the relationship is. The thing is, the fear itself almost killed "me". Fear can make us very sick, fear can make us do incredibly stupid things (like attempting to kick in the door of a crack house, which was my bottom).
Recovery taught me that I am totally powerless over all these circumstances. Recovery taught me that all the worry and fear in the world could not change the outcome. Recovery taught me how to turn my fear into faith, pray and give my fears to God each day, and then live well, as life was meant to be lived.
How very grateful I am today to recognize fear when it creeps up on me. Today I can look fear in the face and reduce it to size with prayer.
Hugs
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
KuanYin, it took me a long time of working my recovery to get to the peaceful place I am in today. It didn't happen overnight, it happened slowly, but the important thing is that it happened.
For me, what worked was going to meetings and learning to work the steps...and then continuing to do so trusting those who went before me that I too could have what they had, serenity. It's a promise of the program and it came true for me.
The book Codependent No More has helped many of us here. It is well worth the read.
I know the pain of living in fear, but I promise you that it doesn't have to be forever. There is hope for each one of us, that we can live a better life, embracing each day and seeing the beauty that surrounds us...regardless of how our addicted loved ones are doing.
Hugs
For me, what worked was going to meetings and learning to work the steps...and then continuing to do so trusting those who went before me that I too could have what they had, serenity. It's a promise of the program and it came true for me.
The book Codependent No More has helped many of us here. It is well worth the read.
I know the pain of living in fear, but I promise you that it doesn't have to be forever. There is hope for each one of us, that we can live a better life, embracing each day and seeing the beauty that surrounds us...regardless of how our addicted loved ones are doing.
Hugs
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