Merry Christmas to my Children
Merry Christmas to my Children
I just added 'Starbucks/Christmas lights drive' to our calendar for 5:30pm tonight.
Considering sobriety a gift to them is kind of dumb because that your mother isn't drunk for many hours a day should be a given. But it wasn't always. And that's a bitter pill to swallow. I remember thinking how nice and fun Christmas was because there was so much alcohol around and why not have a bailey's coffee at 9am? It's Christmas! And then a mid-morning mimosa and wine with lunch. An afternoon beer. A pre-dinner drink. Wine with dinner. An after dinner drink. Then it's time for wrapping presents - open the wine!
Sitting there bleary eyed the next morning watching the kids open their presents. Stomach churning. Downing glasses of coke to counter the hangover (but casually, because openly gulping vast quantities of coke would make it obvious to my husband. you know b/c that's the thing to worry about ). Eyeing the clock for the socially acceptable time to have the days bailey's coffee.
I don't even want to write the stupid, embarrassing things that have occurred during the holiday 'cheer'.
Every day I am grateful for my sobriety. I can't believe I finally 'got it'. I can't wait for our drive tonight.
Considering sobriety a gift to them is kind of dumb because that your mother isn't drunk for many hours a day should be a given. But it wasn't always. And that's a bitter pill to swallow. I remember thinking how nice and fun Christmas was because there was so much alcohol around and why not have a bailey's coffee at 9am? It's Christmas! And then a mid-morning mimosa and wine with lunch. An afternoon beer. A pre-dinner drink. Wine with dinner. An after dinner drink. Then it's time for wrapping presents - open the wine!
Sitting there bleary eyed the next morning watching the kids open their presents. Stomach churning. Downing glasses of coke to counter the hangover (but casually, because openly gulping vast quantities of coke would make it obvious to my husband. you know b/c that's the thing to worry about ). Eyeing the clock for the socially acceptable time to have the days bailey's coffee.
I don't even want to write the stupid, embarrassing things that have occurred during the holiday 'cheer'.
Every day I am grateful for my sobriety. I can't believe I finally 'got it'. I can't wait for our drive tonight.
Yeah, I remember one year Santa mixed up some of the gifts in my kids stockings. What was he thinking?
Oh well...knowing this year I'm sober and I only have one stocking to fill. I think I can handle that.
Wishing you a peaceful sober christmas.
Oh well...knowing this year I'm sober and I only have one stocking to fill. I think I can handle that.
Wishing you a peaceful sober christmas.
Thanks for sharing.
Even though you may have felt stupid or embarrassed for writing it, someone may take something from it.
It surely hits home for me. Until last year I was hungover on Christmas morning for 2 decades. My second Christmas morning sober will be so much better.
Even though you may have felt stupid or embarrassed for writing it, someone may take something from it.
It surely hits home for me. Until last year I was hungover on Christmas morning for 2 decades. My second Christmas morning sober will be so much better.
One of the things I cherish most about our sr community is witnessing parents like you and the gifts you are giving yourself and your children through recovery. It gives me such hope! Much happiness and joy to you and your family this Christmas!
Nutter, this might be the hardest time of the year for some to stay sober. On the other hand, I am working on my belief that this will also be the most rewarding time of the year to stay sober. I will finally be able to connect with my family at home, once again, the way I always thought it should be. I will wake up rested tomorrow morning, and at peace with myself. I won't be bleary and pushing for that cocktail after the mimosas are gone. I will be able to think clearly and be able to experience the holiday through the eyes of the ones I love so dearly. I will be in the present, and present for the first time for the presents. I just slay me sometimes. I'll be here through Sunday, try the buffet. Remember to tip your server.
Happy and Merry Christmas and blessings to all of us who labour against our addictions, and give tirelessly and selflessly to those of us who need our help.
Happy and Merry Christmas and blessings to all of us who labour against our addictions, and give tirelessly and selflessly to those of us who need our help.
And in years to come, you will eventually give them a gift that they might not even notice: that is really is a given that Mom won't be drunk on Christmas. Or ever.
Today I was wrapping some Christmas presents for my wife and I flashed back on a memory. Several years ago when the kids were young my wife and I divided up the Christmas chores. I said I would wrap all the gifts for the kids and other family members. I had a wrapping station set up in the basement and I swear it took me 8 hours. I had a football game on TV and I was drinking the whole time. No one disturbed me because you don't want to walk in on the gift wrapper and spoil the surprise. I'm sure by the end some of those gifts were wrapped pretty bad.
I'm glad I don't do that crap anymore.
I'm glad I don't do that crap anymore.
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