Where do I start...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: right coast
Posts: 5
Where do I start...
Hi all,
I have been lurking on these forums for quite some time and have learned a great deal from what I have read. Like so many others who come here, I am confused, question my sanity and angry. I have finally registered and am ready to tell my story.
I am married to an ACOA. If this isn't enough he is also the A in my life. What is the acronym for that ACOAA?
It has been a long and very rocky road. We have been together for 20 years and have 1 child who is now 18 and will be going off to college next year. For all of these 20 years I am ashamed to say I allowed myself to be verbally and emotionally abused to the point where I have also become an abuser and 4 months ago I turned it physical. 2 months ago I found a therapist and started individual therapy and am working on my recovery. While I am not an alcoholic, I do drink. A few glasses of wine every 2 weeks or so is the norm. When I punched him, I had had 5 or 6 and was out of my mind. I no longer drink with him or around him.
I have finally decided that I am leaving him. He verbally/emotionally attacked me last night and the straw that broke the camels back as they say was that my daughter heard it all and came downstairs and told him in no uncertain terms he was not to talk to a woman like that. It broke my heart. He turned on her and said "what am I the bad guy?" Right then and there my mind was made up. I cannot control what he does and says, but I can certainly control what I do and say and Im not going to continue to allow myself to be pulled down into his vortex of hate. I told him for the last time he needs to get some help.
Both his parents are living and active A's, he has a deceased sister who bled out at the end of her alcoholism, a brother is not so far behind her and most recently his older brother has jumped the shark and is a full blown A. Its going to get worse for him. Im getting out and getting healthy before Im pulled down with them and Im taking my daughter with me.
Happy Holidays everyone
I have been lurking on these forums for quite some time and have learned a great deal from what I have read. Like so many others who come here, I am confused, question my sanity and angry. I have finally registered and am ready to tell my story.
I am married to an ACOA. If this isn't enough he is also the A in my life. What is the acronym for that ACOAA?
It has been a long and very rocky road. We have been together for 20 years and have 1 child who is now 18 and will be going off to college next year. For all of these 20 years I am ashamed to say I allowed myself to be verbally and emotionally abused to the point where I have also become an abuser and 4 months ago I turned it physical. 2 months ago I found a therapist and started individual therapy and am working on my recovery. While I am not an alcoholic, I do drink. A few glasses of wine every 2 weeks or so is the norm. When I punched him, I had had 5 or 6 and was out of my mind. I no longer drink with him or around him. I have finally decided that I am leaving him. He verbally/emotionally attacked me last night and the straw that broke the camels back as they say was that my daughter heard it all and came downstairs and told him in no uncertain terms he was not to talk to a woman like that. It broke my heart. He turned on her and said "what am I the bad guy?" Right then and there my mind was made up. I cannot control what he does and says, but I can certainly control what I do and say and Im not going to continue to allow myself to be pulled down into his vortex of hate. I told him for the last time he needs to get some help.
Both his parents are living and active A's, he has a deceased sister who bled out at the end of her alcoholism, a brother is not so far behind her and most recently his older brother has jumped the shark and is a full blown A. Its going to get worse for him. Im getting out and getting healthy before Im pulled down with them and Im taking my daughter with me.
Happy Holidays everyone
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,437
Welcome! I am so sorry you are going through this. I'm sure this forum will valuable to you as you explore your options and make your decisions. Sounds like he has a family entrenched in alcoholism. Take care of yourself and your kids.
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