There is a light at the end of the tunnel...for all of us!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Up and onwards... :)
Posts: 274
There is a light at the end of the tunnel...for all of us!
Hi everyone,
I haven't posted on this site in a very very long time, but I have come here on and off to read and send good vibes to those who have also been going through their own personal hell with their addict loved one(s).
Being with the addicted man I loved for 4 years and married for 3, it was a barrage of major ups and major downs, especially with his mental illness being untreated for most of it (still is).
I never, ever thought I would be in this spot today, where I am able to walk the talk of being separated from my AH and actually being OKAY with it all.
I'm not obsessing about where he is or what he's doing. I'm not worried he's dead in a ditch somewhere or doing terrible things or having terrible things happening to him... my brain has just stopped the worry and anxiety. It's not fool proof however, because I still have some sad moments, but that's where it stops.
I want to say that for those of you who are 'new' to recovery from being too caring (co-dependent), this place where I'm currently at IS attainable for anyone... but I need to emphasis this: it is YOUR journey and NO ONE ELSES (that includes those who 'mean well' here) to go on. It may take years to reach your destination. Then again it may just take months... or even weeks... but no one but yourself will ever know when is the right time (for you) to make what may be an impossible choice (or not).
We are all here (or should be) to be able to say what's on our mind (about ourselves), to ENCOURAGE others, to be the virtual shoulder to cry on, to tell our own stories, but NEVER EVER EVER to tell anyone what they should or should not be doing. PERIOD.
I do feel this forum has given me the peace and sense of hope in such darkness in my life. There have been some phenomenal supporters who gave amazing words of encouragement that I will carry always in my heart and will continue to give me strength in time of need.
I still love my soon to be EX-AH... and always will, however I am very glad that I have chosen to get off this ride of addiction that he is on. I never, ever thought I would get here, but I am, and my life is looking UP with each passing day.
I'm going to post my (updated) story in another thread, but felt compelled to write this for everyone who feels that they will never see that light, never be happy again, never be able to do the unthinkable (detach what ever form that may take), that yes... one day, when YOU are ready, it will happen.
Sending lots of love and hugs to all,
I haven't posted on this site in a very very long time, but I have come here on and off to read and send good vibes to those who have also been going through their own personal hell with their addict loved one(s).
Being with the addicted man I loved for 4 years and married for 3, it was a barrage of major ups and major downs, especially with his mental illness being untreated for most of it (still is).
I never, ever thought I would be in this spot today, where I am able to walk the talk of being separated from my AH and actually being OKAY with it all.
I'm not obsessing about where he is or what he's doing. I'm not worried he's dead in a ditch somewhere or doing terrible things or having terrible things happening to him... my brain has just stopped the worry and anxiety. It's not fool proof however, because I still have some sad moments, but that's where it stops.
I want to say that for those of you who are 'new' to recovery from being too caring (co-dependent), this place where I'm currently at IS attainable for anyone... but I need to emphasis this: it is YOUR journey and NO ONE ELSES (that includes those who 'mean well' here) to go on. It may take years to reach your destination. Then again it may just take months... or even weeks... but no one but yourself will ever know when is the right time (for you) to make what may be an impossible choice (or not).
We are all here (or should be) to be able to say what's on our mind (about ourselves), to ENCOURAGE others, to be the virtual shoulder to cry on, to tell our own stories, but NEVER EVER EVER to tell anyone what they should or should not be doing. PERIOD.
I do feel this forum has given me the peace and sense of hope in such darkness in my life. There have been some phenomenal supporters who gave amazing words of encouragement that I will carry always in my heart and will continue to give me strength in time of need.
I still love my soon to be EX-AH... and always will, however I am very glad that I have chosen to get off this ride of addiction that he is on. I never, ever thought I would get here, but I am, and my life is looking UP with each passing day.
I'm going to post my (updated) story in another thread, but felt compelled to write this for everyone who feels that they will never see that light, never be happy again, never be able to do the unthinkable (detach what ever form that may take), that yes... one day, when YOU are ready, it will happen.
Sending lots of love and hugs to all,
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I'm glad things are going better for you and that you have moved forward to a good place in life.
It can get better, we do recovery, it just takes time and a lot of work.
Big hugs and wishes for many blessings in the days ahead.
It can get better, we do recovery, it just takes time and a lot of work.
Big hugs and wishes for many blessings in the days ahead.
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