Heartbroken0608

Found this on another site. It really hit home with me so I thought I'd share in case it could help someone else.

When we are reacting out of our codependency, unconsciously reacting out of our childhood emotional wounds and programming, then we are not capable of being honest with ourselves or others.* A codependent doesn't rescue or try to save someone they "love" for the other persons benefit - they do it for themselves.* A parent who keeps rescuing a child from self destructive behavior is on some level trying to be loving - but at the deepest level they are trying to rescue themselves from the pain of seeing their child destroy themselves.* They are being selfish - which is human and normal - but they are doing it dishonestly by telling themselves they are doing it for the other person.* This is a set up to feel victimized - and to abuse and shame the child/loved one for their behavior.* "How can you do this to me after all I have done for you?"
Enabling & Rescuing vs Tough Love