New Member Question
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 2
New Member Question
Hi all! I am new to the board, trying to stay sober today ( 6th day sober).
I have found a local AA group that I am pretty comfortable with (except all the cigarette smoke). I was wondering how to choose a sponsor. WHat should I look for? What should I avoid? Any horror stories?
I have found a local AA group that I am pretty comfortable with (except all the cigarette smoke). I was wondering how to choose a sponsor. WHat should I look for? What should I avoid? Any horror stories?
Digitally Remastered
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Samsara
Posts: 102
70x7,
Howdy & Salutations. There is a pamphlet entitled Questions and Answers on Sponsorship available at AA meetings.
The rules I used for myself in choosing a sponsor were the following:
:: Same sex...so I looked for a woman.
:: Did I want what she had? Yes.
:: Did I see her at many meetings? Yes. Always noon.
:: Did she have a life apart from AA? Yes. A job, a family, outside interests.
:: How long sober? She had a few 24 hours.
:: Did she have a sponsor? Yes & she utilized her sponsor.
:: Did she have and use her Big Book? Yes.
I interviewed my new friend with a lunch we had and that cinched it...so I asked her and she said yes. I didn't ask the first person I thought might be okay. It took two or three weeks of intensive searching, talking to many people and I found her.
Congratulations on your 6 days sober! Doesn't sound like you're trying to me. Sounds like you're doing!!
Keep it up,
Digits
Howdy & Salutations. There is a pamphlet entitled Questions and Answers on Sponsorship available at AA meetings.
The rules I used for myself in choosing a sponsor were the following:
:: Same sex...so I looked for a woman.
:: Did I want what she had? Yes.
:: Did I see her at many meetings? Yes. Always noon.
:: Did she have a life apart from AA? Yes. A job, a family, outside interests.
:: How long sober? She had a few 24 hours.
:: Did she have a sponsor? Yes & she utilized her sponsor.
:: Did she have and use her Big Book? Yes.
I interviewed my new friend with a lunch we had and that cinched it...so I asked her and she said yes. I didn't ask the first person I thought might be okay. It took two or three weeks of intensive searching, talking to many people and I found her.
Congratulations on your 6 days sober! Doesn't sound like you're trying to me. Sounds like you're doing!!
Keep it up,
Digits
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Zion, Illinois
Posts: 3,411
Re: New Member Question
Originally posted by 70x7
Hi all! I am new to the board, trying to stay sober today ( 6th day sober).
I have found a local AA group that I am pretty comfortable with (except all the cigarette smoke). I was wondering how to choose a sponsor. WHat should I look for? What should I avoid? Any horror stories?
Hi all! I am new to the board, trying to stay sober today ( 6th day sober).
I have found a local AA group that I am pretty comfortable with (except all the cigarette smoke). I was wondering how to choose a sponsor. WHat should I look for? What should I avoid? Any horror stories?
Welcome to the SR board. Glad you're here!
I've found over time I can get comfortable with about anything, especially drinking alcohol. It wasn't until I got uncomfortable that I decided it was time to quit. Keep going to AA meetings until you learn to like them and don't worry about being a little uncomfortable. Just keep in mind what drinking was like.
Anyone can be a sponsor. Get some phone numbers and make some phone calls just to keep in touch. You'll find a sponsor in time. Learn to hang out with sober people....it's actually fun.
Look for answers about how not to drink. That was my primary goal in the beginning...just not drinking. I had to learn how not to drink before I was in a position to figure out how to be happy about not drinking. If you're not currently in a relationship, I'd avoid getting into one for a while. If you are in a relationship, I'd avoid demanding that your partner change his/her way of doing anything. Just causes problems. Worry about yourself.
Horror stories....you bet! Mostly about when I was drinking but I don't have time to go into those. If you pay attention as I did, I learned to be grateful that I didn't have to go through a lot of what other people had to go through to get to AA. I didn't have it all that bad compared to some.
PS....Avoid comparing stories. Try to identify with others rather than to saparate from others. The disease of alcoholism will throw you enough curves to keep you busy without having to look for any problems. Just go to a lot of meetings and learn to belong. That's a good start.
Keep coming back.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Australia
Posts: 610
Hello & welcome,
you can find a pamphlet "Questions and Answers on Sponsorship" at an AA meeting, this was a great help for me and covers just about everything.
I think that choosing a sponsor is a very personal thing and what might be a horror story for one person could be another's saving grace. The advice I got from others was general, to trust my gut instinct, find someone with at least a few years sobriety, who can take me through the steps, seems reasonably happy with their life in and outside of AA.
Congrats on your 6 days of sobriety!
Amy
you can find a pamphlet "Questions and Answers on Sponsorship" at an AA meeting, this was a great help for me and covers just about everything.
I think that choosing a sponsor is a very personal thing and what might be a horror story for one person could be another's saving grace. The advice I got from others was general, to trust my gut instinct, find someone with at least a few years sobriety, who can take me through the steps, seems reasonably happy with their life in and outside of AA.
Congrats on your 6 days of sobriety!
Amy
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Dreaming Summer
Posts: 821
Re: New Member Question
Originally posted by 70x7
I have found a local AA group that I am pretty comfortable with (except all the cigarette smoke).
I have found a local AA group that I am pretty comfortable with (except all the cigarette smoke).
In any case,keep going to meetings and you'll do just fine.Congrats on the six days
phoenix
Member
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Boston
Posts: 710
Hi 70x7,
I would suggest looking for someone who is attending AA meetings, has a sponsor of her own, has worked the 12 Steps of recovery in her own life and is freely passing it on to newcomers and those who are reaching out for help. When I was new in th halls of AA it was suggested to me to find someone who had all of the above and who also had a smile on her face, a sense of "quietness about her, with peace in her heart and soul. Someone who had what I wanted..... the gift of sobriety and gratitude for another day sober.
Stick with the winners 70x7. How will you know the winners? The winners will have all of the above, and they will be reaching out to you and others, to pass on what was freely given to them.....so that they themselves can sober for one more day, and help others to achieve sobriety
God Bless you 70x7, and just keep coming no matter what.....and congrats to you on 6 days sober........THATS FANTASTIC
Love
Patsy
I would suggest looking for someone who is attending AA meetings, has a sponsor of her own, has worked the 12 Steps of recovery in her own life and is freely passing it on to newcomers and those who are reaching out for help. When I was new in th halls of AA it was suggested to me to find someone who had all of the above and who also had a smile on her face, a sense of "quietness about her, with peace in her heart and soul. Someone who had what I wanted..... the gift of sobriety and gratitude for another day sober.
Stick with the winners 70x7. How will you know the winners? The winners will have all of the above, and they will be reaching out to you and others, to pass on what was freely given to them.....so that they themselves can sober for one more day, and help others to achieve sobriety
God Bless you 70x7, and just keep coming no matter what.....and congrats to you on 6 days sober........THATS FANTASTIC
Love
Patsy
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