Introduction
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 29
Introduction
Hello,
I have 17 days today. I have been in/out of AA for a little over a year. My first attempt at recovery lasted 8 months, then I went out for a couple months. I came back and went 3 months, then went out for a couple days. This is my third attempt at recovery in the past 15 months, and I have learned alot. Firstly, this is a disease, secondly I can never underestimate it, and thirdly I have to have a god of my understanding. I was humbled this last time, I had to truly admit that I have a disease for which there is no cure. I think I have finally figured out what I need to do stay clean and sober...and doubled it! There is no other solution for me, and that was a hard fact to swallow about myself. At any rate, I just wanted to introduce myself and share my clean time.
Thanks,
cascade
I have 17 days today. I have been in/out of AA for a little over a year. My first attempt at recovery lasted 8 months, then I went out for a couple months. I came back and went 3 months, then went out for a couple days. This is my third attempt at recovery in the past 15 months, and I have learned alot. Firstly, this is a disease, secondly I can never underestimate it, and thirdly I have to have a god of my understanding. I was humbled this last time, I had to truly admit that I have a disease for which there is no cure. I think I have finally figured out what I need to do stay clean and sober...and doubled it! There is no other solution for me, and that was a hard fact to swallow about myself. At any rate, I just wanted to introduce myself and share my clean time.
Thanks,
cascade
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,028
I've relapsed twice and I've been going to AA no matter what during the whole ordeal. It's been about 7 months of that. It's a struggle but little by little the obsession lessons even if I relapse. It's like learning any new skill. You mess up and get right back up and keep learning no matter what. This is about you and no one else. Keep going back, don't be afraid to go back no matter what. Even if it takes you 20 times, you will finally get it right. 
It took me 17yrs to learn how to become an alcoholic, I don't expect it will take 17 to stop but I don't expect to be what they call a "one chip wonder." ((Hugs))
It took me 17yrs to learn how to become an alcoholic, I don't expect it will take 17 to stop but I don't expect to be what they call a "one chip wonder." ((Hugs))
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4
Good job on the 17 days. I can relate, as I have relapsed several times since I started going to 12-step meetings in May of this year. The fact that you continued going to meetings, even during your relapses, bodes well for your recovery IMO.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Hi cascade and welcome to the forum!
I went back to alcohol a couple times myself, thinking it would be different "this time." It never lasted, though. Sounds like you've come to that realization, too. Way to go on your 17 days - Great start!!
I went back to alcohol a couple times myself, thinking it would be different "this time." It never lasted, though. Sounds like you've come to that realization, too. Way to go on your 17 days - Great start!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 29
I'm a little spiritually off center today. Thought I would post to get "back in the middle." My life is good, but I must say having a newborn, going back to work after being home for three weeks, and all that comes with not getting good sleep through the night can be trying. I feel blessed to have my child and wife in my life, but sometimes I get a little resentful about how much this new "blessing" demands of me. Then I remember what it says in the Big Book, "our purspose is to be of service to others.". I interpret that as being of service to my parents, newborn, wife, etc. Better to be of service to others than myself.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 29
Went to a nooner today, figured I could use some extra support through the Holiday Season. I enjoy the holidays, but I am extra guarded about my sobriety right now. Like it says in the Big Book, "We have a daily reprieve based on our spiritual condition." I need my spiritual condition to be strong right now. I have alot of people depending on me, and if I don't take care of myself I have nothing to give others. I want to be the husband my wife deserves, the father my newborn deserves, but most important I want to know what my potential is. I've had alot of anger about family of origin stuff since my son was born, and I'm processing it with a professional outside of the program. I need to let go of these resentments....just not sure how yet. I know I have the choice to turn it over, but there is also a forgiveness component and some justifiable anger I need to work through/let go of.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: WI
Posts: 228
Originally Posted by cascade 
Hello,
I think I have finally figured out what I need to do stay clean and sober...
I think I have finally figured out what I need to do stay clean and sober...
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: WI
Posts: 228
Originally Posted by cascade
I need to let go of these resentments....just not sure how yet. I know I have the choice to turn it over, but there is also a forgiveness component and some justifiable anger I need to work through/let go of.
Ah yes... Justifiable anger, the luxury of the normal man...
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