SamanthaIam

I'm glad I now have a clear (or clearing) head to start to think these losses:

-- a dear friend committed suicide on Easter this year, after many years of hardcore alcoholism.

-- my beautiful show horse that I'd had for 20 years died in May at age 31.

-- empty nest. My kids are all out of the house as of this fall.

-- my daughter's marriage ended in June

It's kind of overwhelming to think about all of it, but I feel I am honoring all of them so much more by being with the reality instead of hiding in a bottle.

In other words, these things don't make me want to drink. It's just difficult, you know? To process and find a loving way through it.

SamanthaIam

PS - at some point, I want to say more about my friend who killed himself. It's a very sad story, with alcohol at the center of it. Not sure if it would be appropriate to post here on SR, that is, would it be triggering or upsetting to those here?

Nikoneer

Being so new here myself I don't want to offend anyone or speak out of place but speaking only for myself the more I hear other stories the more I seem to benefit. I feel that relaying stories has a dual purpose of helping the person telling the story as well as the people who read it. But once again, I'm only speaking for myself.

Cardinalfan

Im sorry for the grief you have been burdened with. Loss is final and forever. Lost my fiance in a motorcycle crash 4 years ago, my 18 yr old nephew Sam in a tragic skiing accident last year, my best friend of 25 yrs to cancer. I understand about numbing feelings. We should be celebrating their lives while they were sharing their lives with us. I too took alcohol to set my feelings aside, and block the pain out. But isn't it time to live our lives? My best to you, I hope you are smiling soon. They would want you to.

least

It takes a while to get used to actually 'feeling' our feelings and not drowning them in booze. But good coping skills can be learned and we can come out of this stronger and capable of enduring that which we used to run away from.

bozboz

I find that I can gernerally talk about anything on SR, and everyone is supportive of whatever the topic may be. Talking has helped me alot, and the advice I get in return always makes me feel better, whether I want to hear it or not.

camedown

I am a survivor of extensive childhood abuse, and after twenty five years of drinking those memories down, I am starting to face them. I am just taking my time with it. I have a sponsor I talk to a lot. I go to meetings, and I listen closely. I have a good support network of friends who are loving, sympathetic, and understanding. I treat those memories like a pressurized steam kettle, if I pop the top off, it will explode, so I just let the pressure out a bit at a time. I know that sober or not, the emotions will be there, and sooner or later I will have to deal with them. I need to move on with the rest of my life, so I am choosing to deal with them now. Good luck, and God bless.


camedown