Lucky 13
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 2,707
Lucky 13
Day 13. Had my first real moment of weakness last night. And yes, it was because I was feeling great(Wtf? That sucks). I really wish I hadn't walked into that LS the other day, it seemed to plant a seed. Also my bf is going away with the dog for the long weekend. Dropping him off at the ferry tonight then I'm alone for almost four days. Three nights. Feeling nervous about it but trying not to think about it too much. Don't want it to be a self-fulfilling prophecy type thing.
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 2,707
Thanks Dom, I appreciate that. I know I just have to keep busy(I'm moving so that shouldn't be a problem). And plan to have plenty of my precious Martinelli's sparkling apple juice around!
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Way to go on your 13 days!
Sounds like you need to make some plans for your time alone(?) The more you can get out of your head, the better...... I've been making some Christmas gifts lately (started knitting), and it really helps to have something to do.
We've all had those cravings when things are really good...... I think we just get used to reacting to any strong emotion with a drink. It gets easier, so hang in there!!
Sounds like you need to make some plans for your time alone(?) The more you can get out of your head, the better...... I've been making some Christmas gifts lately (started knitting), and it really helps to have something to do.
We've all had those cravings when things are really good...... I think we just get used to reacting to any strong emotion with a drink. It gets easier, so hang in there!!
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Congrats on lucky 13!
I like the meeting idea, especially if you haven't tried meetings yet and are going to be alone a bit. It is an adventure. It scares the peewaddle out of some folks. I used AA for a good while.
BTW, what Is an LS?
I like the meeting idea, especially if you haven't tried meetings yet and are going to be alone a bit. It is an adventure. It scares the peewaddle out of some folks. I used AA for a good while.
BTW, what Is an LS?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 2,707
Liquor store!(Don't ask-work related) And I am one of those "scared peewaddled". It's really intimidating! I'm a pretty shy gal and get embarrassed if people stare at me etc. I know it won't be like that but still, you know.....
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
Yes inparticular
I was more inclined to drink when I was happy than depressed, I sort of got overexcited and used the alcohol to calm me down.
Over 5 months sober and still get those feelings when I am naturally high. The thing is My moods are becoming more stable with time, the lows and highs are meeting somewhere in the middle.
Bummer not having the dog.
All the bestest
CaiHong
I was more inclined to drink when I was happy than depressed, I sort of got overexcited and used the alcohol to calm me down.
Over 5 months sober and still get those feelings when I am naturally high. The thing is My moods are becoming more stable with time, the lows and highs are meeting somewhere in the middle.
Bummer not having the dog.
All the bestest
CaiHong
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Well IP then go try one and sit in the back. I was forced to go to an NA and AA combination meeting in rehab that I detested, second night, and they told me in response to my saying that I would prefer to stay at the rooms when they went to AA meetings that there was no option. Then they told me I would "have to" attend one every night caused me to quit rehab. I was already realizing that rehab was not for me as I had a home and I was taking a space other vets needed more than me.
I was not court ordered or homeless (and not all of the others were homeless either, it was a nice group of guys) and when I went to the head of the program, a psychiatrist that was from Russia with a pronounced accent that I was leaving, and she told me I could not in that accent, well I almost burst out laughing. I did chuckle and told her that she had better double check because I was strictly voluntary. And that if I needed to sign something to please let me have it because I was leaving in a few minutes as my wife was on the way and would give me a lift over to the rooms where my truck was parked, and I would go by the rooms to collect my things when the rehab babysitters were there with the people. It was funny because I guess they never had someone calmly leave. I didn't need any completion certificates or anything. I asked her if she had anything else for me? She said no and realized I was right. And said I would not make it if I left. Hey I was through with the part I wanted, in hospital detox. I just realized rehab wasn't for me.
So you are hearing this from one who hated my first AA experience.
I went home and started my life again. But my PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms) were pretty bad so I went online looking to see if the stuff I was experiencing were normal and found here. And a close friend told me my experience with that meeting was OK. For me to try several before I passed judgment on them all. And sure enough I found a little local group that met on Sundays at 4 and Tuesdays at 6:30 and that fit me to a T.
I told them I was just observing and was not interested in joining anything or any religious stuff. And they left me alone in the back for the whole meeting. I stayed a few minutes after with some questions and ended up going there both nights and no others. So I joined here and AA at about the same time the week after i checked out of rehab and my successful detox.
So I don't put much stock in the folks who say their way is the is 100% best way. Not even the folks that I agree with 90%.
I take what I can use and leave the rest with no rancor. But I have to spend some time digesting each before i make a decision to use all or some or none of it. That is how I always lived my life and pursued my educational and life goals.
Getting sober was no different. I ended using Part AA for my face to face component, here for my daily dose of sharing and caring, and now I just maintain with an hour here maybe more sometimes, and once a month a visit with my AA group.
The brilliant thing about AA is that there are many groups each with a different flavor. There are no dues and no rules with the tongue in cheek exception being rule 62, don't take ourselves too seriously.
Because that allows us to take what we can use and leave the rest. You don't have to do all of AA if you choose not to. Now that is heresy to some AArs and exactly suits others. I used about 50% as they have some awesome ways to make face to face and getting advice painless. See only one person talks at a time and that person voluntarily. So no one gets forced to stand up and talk.
Anyway give em a try and try several different groups before you decide if you can use them or not, and if so which group appeals to your sensibilities.
Once again congrats and keep it up! You are tougher than you might think young lady. And once you have your sobriety and recovery settled and in maintenance, it is my opinion that you have a lot to give, and many people that will get just what they need from you , who are struggling now and may meet us here just when they need us. We aren't just one voice or one opinion. Sometimes it take 20 comments and then one connects. I look forward to being along for your ride and your posts.
Hang in there or hangover!
I was not court ordered or homeless (and not all of the others were homeless either, it was a nice group of guys) and when I went to the head of the program, a psychiatrist that was from Russia with a pronounced accent that I was leaving, and she told me I could not in that accent, well I almost burst out laughing. I did chuckle and told her that she had better double check because I was strictly voluntary. And that if I needed to sign something to please let me have it because I was leaving in a few minutes as my wife was on the way and would give me a lift over to the rooms where my truck was parked, and I would go by the rooms to collect my things when the rehab babysitters were there with the people. It was funny because I guess they never had someone calmly leave. I didn't need any completion certificates or anything. I asked her if she had anything else for me? She said no and realized I was right. And said I would not make it if I left. Hey I was through with the part I wanted, in hospital detox. I just realized rehab wasn't for me.
So you are hearing this from one who hated my first AA experience.
I went home and started my life again. But my PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms) were pretty bad so I went online looking to see if the stuff I was experiencing were normal and found here. And a close friend told me my experience with that meeting was OK. For me to try several before I passed judgment on them all. And sure enough I found a little local group that met on Sundays at 4 and Tuesdays at 6:30 and that fit me to a T.
I told them I was just observing and was not interested in joining anything or any religious stuff. And they left me alone in the back for the whole meeting. I stayed a few minutes after with some questions and ended up going there both nights and no others. So I joined here and AA at about the same time the week after i checked out of rehab and my successful detox.
So I don't put much stock in the folks who say their way is the is 100% best way. Not even the folks that I agree with 90%.
I take what I can use and leave the rest with no rancor. But I have to spend some time digesting each before i make a decision to use all or some or none of it. That is how I always lived my life and pursued my educational and life goals.
Getting sober was no different. I ended using Part AA for my face to face component, here for my daily dose of sharing and caring, and now I just maintain with an hour here maybe more sometimes, and once a month a visit with my AA group.
The brilliant thing about AA is that there are many groups each with a different flavor. There are no dues and no rules with the tongue in cheek exception being rule 62, don't take ourselves too seriously.
Because that allows us to take what we can use and leave the rest. You don't have to do all of AA if you choose not to. Now that is heresy to some AArs and exactly suits others. I used about 50% as they have some awesome ways to make face to face and getting advice painless. See only one person talks at a time and that person voluntarily. So no one gets forced to stand up and talk.
Anyway give em a try and try several different groups before you decide if you can use them or not, and if so which group appeals to your sensibilities.
Once again congrats and keep it up! You are tougher than you might think young lady. And once you have your sobriety and recovery settled and in maintenance, it is my opinion that you have a lot to give, and many people that will get just what they need from you , who are struggling now and may meet us here just when they need us. We aren't just one voice or one opinion. Sometimes it take 20 comments and then one connects. I look forward to being along for your ride and your posts.
Hang in there or hangover!
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