InParticular

Just turned down a really good paying decorating job because it happens to take place in BC Liquor Stores. Thought it would be okay, but yesterday I walked into the store I would be working in to check it out and just see, how I would feel, and had some really surprising anxiety. The second I saw those oh-too-familiar labels, it was immediate thoughts of rum and cokes, whiskey, etc., I could almost taste it in my mouth. And the wine, my god, I could smell the stuff and was already having sort of, mmm, wine, thoughts, like "man, wine is so good....". I lasted about two minutes and got the hell out of there. Definite panic on the way. I couldn't believe how quickly the thoughts came, and now I can't believe I was even THINKING about doing this job. Really sucks to turn down work though, don't think it doesn't **** me off.

Anyway just wanted to unpack that.

12 days today, yay!

doggonecarl

Wise choice. Congrats on 12 days, that's awesome. Continued success.

Saliena

I read your post yesterday but didn't reply. Just wanted to say I am really really proud of you today.

InParticular

Thank you so much you guys. Yeah it was a definite "how serious am I about this" moment. It hurts to turn away cold hard cash but I know it's the right choice.

ventura47

thats really cool you did that, people who say they can hang out in a bar and not drink early in sobriety should read your post.

Dominica2

In,

I am proud of you. You made the best choice for your sobriety and that is something you should be proud of too. It may be money, but money comes along all the time. Your health and well being is much important right now. Great Job!

sissy07

InParticular,

Impressive! Maybe you would have been able to do it without drinking, but the anxiety would not have been worth it. Or, if you would have drank, the money would be gone buying booze, etc.

Good move.

Anna

I'm glad that you made the right decision for yourself!

Itchy

Good choice. Amazing your power when you focus on your goals. BY the same token you can get a bit too comfortable. My closest call was at about six months and I was visiting my wife at one of the estate sales she was conducting as they closed up and they had glass of wine each, her and her co-worker. We were talking about it and they were raving about how good it was, and without thinking I took one of their glasses and was about to taste it when my wife startled asked me what I thought I was doing? I was more shocked than she was! I had honestly forgotten for a minute I was an alcoholic who doesn't drink at all anymore. There was no craving, it was truly oenophile palate reflex from years and no thought of should I or not crossed my mind.

Well thank goodness for my wife or I would have innocently tasted it. And no, at that point I would not have relapsed. But I would have had to honestly admit I drank!

So early you made the exact right choice. But also later be aware that you can also forget to be on guard for innocent situations once you no longer think about it daily. I don't at all anymore. But I do come here daily just to stay reminded. And to post for the newbies while I am also gaining energy from posts like yours.

Thanks for posting.

tellme1

WAY TO GO! That shows fantastic resolve and is a great example to the rest of us. Thanks for being there!