Can I consider it a TRUE amend?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Japan
Posts: 71
Can I consider it a TRUE amend?
Hi Everyone,
I posted this past summer about an amend I went back to Canada to do, and how relieved I was that it went so well. When I met with the person (Angie) I was making the amend to we talked about mutual friends and I mentioned that there was a couple we both knew that I probably need to make an amend to...Angie said that this couple "always asks about you when they return to Canada for their yearly vacations and I am sure would love to see you..." So I contacted this old friend's father in Toronto to get his contact details and sent he and his wife a hand-written letter making my apologies to them for my bad behavior, as well as a typed one with an update of my life in the past 15 years since I had seen either of them with pictures of my new life (Japanese wife, two children). I would have like to have made the amend in person, but this couple now lives in South Asia. Angie told me she had made contact with the couple to let them know "I met in Ottawa and wants to try and contact you.. " and she was told that our mutual friend did get my snailmail amend. That was about 6 weeks ago. I feel both good and bad. Good for writing the sincere letter, but I just don't seem to have found or derived the same serenity and sense of closure I did as when I made the in-person amend. Am I expecting too much?
I have the same with family members. I have written them, sent pictures of my children, bit not so much of a "Hey, congratulations on your marriage to that Japanese woman and the two beautiful children..." I know it is difficult that they (siblings) are in Canada, but I have sent the letter and from them: nada
I know I am going off-track and derailing my original message, but I still harbor resentments towards family (especially my dad), who never even bothered to call after the March 11 tsunami/earthquake hit us here in Japan to ask if my family and I were alright? Yeah, I know he is 79....but...SORRY for the rant. My apologies to everyone.
Thank YOU all for your supprt.
Respectfully Yours,
Pat
I posted this past summer about an amend I went back to Canada to do, and how relieved I was that it went so well. When I met with the person (Angie) I was making the amend to we talked about mutual friends and I mentioned that there was a couple we both knew that I probably need to make an amend to...Angie said that this couple "always asks about you when they return to Canada for their yearly vacations and I am sure would love to see you..." So I contacted this old friend's father in Toronto to get his contact details and sent he and his wife a hand-written letter making my apologies to them for my bad behavior, as well as a typed one with an update of my life in the past 15 years since I had seen either of them with pictures of my new life (Japanese wife, two children). I would have like to have made the amend in person, but this couple now lives in South Asia. Angie told me she had made contact with the couple to let them know "I met in Ottawa and wants to try and contact you.. " and she was told that our mutual friend did get my snailmail amend. That was about 6 weeks ago. I feel both good and bad. Good for writing the sincere letter, but I just don't seem to have found or derived the same serenity and sense of closure I did as when I made the in-person amend. Am I expecting too much?
I have the same with family members. I have written them, sent pictures of my children, bit not so much of a "Hey, congratulations on your marriage to that Japanese woman and the two beautiful children..." I know it is difficult that they (siblings) are in Canada, but I have sent the letter and from them: nada
I know I am going off-track and derailing my original message, but I still harbor resentments towards family (especially my dad), who never even bothered to call after the March 11 tsunami/earthquake hit us here in Japan to ask if my family and I were alright? Yeah, I know he is 79....but...SORRY for the rant. My apologies to everyone.
Thank YOU all for your supprt.
Respectfully Yours,
Pat
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Denver, Colorado
Posts: 8
I make amends to get out of myself and restore the damage I've done to others. Back in step 3 it tells me, selfishness and self-centeredness is the root of my troubles. As a result, if I get serenity from step 9, that's great. If not, that's fine too. In my mind, this step is not about me.
More than anything I don't want to drink again and want to do what I can to give some sort of peace of mind to the many people I've hurt due to my selfishness and dishonesty. I want the humility that comes with sitting across from someone and owning up to the things I've done in the past.
I'm in the middle of this step for the first time. I can't say I've felt serenity. I can say I've felt a lot of humility and for that I'm thankful. Because as long as I have humility, I recognize I need God and others to keep my sobriety.
More than anything I don't want to drink again and want to do what I can to give some sort of peace of mind to the many people I've hurt due to my selfishness and dishonesty. I want the humility that comes with sitting across from someone and owning up to the things I've done in the past.
I'm in the middle of this step for the first time. I can't say I've felt serenity. I can say I've felt a lot of humility and for that I'm thankful. Because as long as I have humility, I recognize I need God and others to keep my sobriety.
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