Worst Appointment Ever
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 518
Worst Appointment Ever
Hey everyone...
So I may have told you guys that my GP told me that he can't do much for me with regards to my depression, anxiety and drinking so he referred me to a psychiatrist that I went to see today. I was really looking forward to talking with someone that knew deep down all that goes on with people.
I left after that appointment upset, even more depressed, crying and hopeless.
We didn't even talk about the drinking or depression or anything - other then the obvious he stated - "if you don't stop drinking you will only get worse and die", he also said that he doesn't think I am an alcoholic even though I told him I drank every night for the past two years.
The reason why I was so upset...is that when you're trying to quit drinking...and are an addict...you feel crappy about yourself in general...you feel like you can't fight the addiction sometimes because the cravings are just too big. You feel like you fail yourself and the loved ones around you all the time.
This man said to me that I blame others for my problems, that I am not depressed or anxious, that it's not possible to get work stress and that it is just "work irritation", that it's life and I have to deal with it and get over it. I asked him why then have I been diagnosed with mental health issues since I was 14 years old? He then told me not to blame the doctors - that I was just blaming people once again. I never once said during the consult that I was blaming anyone for anything. I know that it is all my own fault. He said that I am self-sabotaging myself and that I probably won't find a better job then the one that I am at now and he also told me to consider going back to school and to - and I seriously quote this - "ask for Daddy's money".
It was completely unprofessional, rude, confrontational, non-sympathetic and worst appointment I have ever gone too.
I feel 100x worse then when I went in there. I was so optimistic. And now I am sitting here thinking that I have probably put people through more hell then I already have because this is what he thinks.
Once again...he knew nothing about me...asked me some things in point form and everything...he was just so rude. Sometimes he would even say to me "I don't understand your way of thinking on that one"....WELL MR APPARENT PSYCHIATRIST, NEITHER DO I AND THAT IS WHY I AM HERE SEEING YOU.
I even told my boyfriend a bit of this and all he said was "hm...okay, gotta go, I will talk to you about it after work" which made me even more sad!
This is just a sad day for me. :'(
It was supposed to be about anxiety and getting off alcohol/my relationship with it and addiction...it wasn't supposed to be this.
So I may have told you guys that my GP told me that he can't do much for me with regards to my depression, anxiety and drinking so he referred me to a psychiatrist that I went to see today. I was really looking forward to talking with someone that knew deep down all that goes on with people.
I left after that appointment upset, even more depressed, crying and hopeless.
We didn't even talk about the drinking or depression or anything - other then the obvious he stated - "if you don't stop drinking you will only get worse and die", he also said that he doesn't think I am an alcoholic even though I told him I drank every night for the past two years.
The reason why I was so upset...is that when you're trying to quit drinking...and are an addict...you feel crappy about yourself in general...you feel like you can't fight the addiction sometimes because the cravings are just too big. You feel like you fail yourself and the loved ones around you all the time.
This man said to me that I blame others for my problems, that I am not depressed or anxious, that it's not possible to get work stress and that it is just "work irritation", that it's life and I have to deal with it and get over it. I asked him why then have I been diagnosed with mental health issues since I was 14 years old? He then told me not to blame the doctors - that I was just blaming people once again. I never once said during the consult that I was blaming anyone for anything. I know that it is all my own fault. He said that I am self-sabotaging myself and that I probably won't find a better job then the one that I am at now and he also told me to consider going back to school and to - and I seriously quote this - "ask for Daddy's money".
It was completely unprofessional, rude, confrontational, non-sympathetic and worst appointment I have ever gone too.
I feel 100x worse then when I went in there. I was so optimistic. And now I am sitting here thinking that I have probably put people through more hell then I already have because this is what he thinks.
Once again...he knew nothing about me...asked me some things in point form and everything...he was just so rude. Sometimes he would even say to me "I don't understand your way of thinking on that one"....WELL MR APPARENT PSYCHIATRIST, NEITHER DO I AND THAT IS WHY I AM HERE SEEING YOU.
I even told my boyfriend a bit of this and all he said was "hm...okay, gotta go, I will talk to you about it after work" which made me even more sad!
This is just a sad day for me. :'(
It was supposed to be about anxiety and getting off alcohol/my relationship with it and addiction...it wasn't supposed to be this.
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
why don't you just take a couple of days to think about the session, maybe when you are not so emotional...you can use this as a measurement of what you don't want in a therapist.
you may relate better to a female counselor too.
did you make an appointment for another session with the doc? Did he ask you if you wanted to come back?
you may relate better to a female counselor too.
did you make an appointment for another session with the doc? Did he ask you if you wanted to come back?
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,028
Gotcha!!!
Hey, I got you on this one. I've been through the EXACT same situation with a so called Psychiatrist. They call is Realism or some dumb BS like that, they are people who got their Doctorate and don't believe in meds or that psyhiatric disorders are "real." They believe that most people's minds are creative and cause their own issues.
Go to another doctor, one that is associated with a University or large medical facility. Also, make sure they speicalize in your particular issues. Many will say they do but clearly don't. If this person is associated with any of the above entities you need to make a formal complaint. THese kinds of doctor's have driven people off the deep end!
I'm not giving you medical advice just saying PLEASE don't even for a second give this character any of your time. Move on. Sorry he was such a jerk.
Go to another doctor, one that is associated with a University or large medical facility. Also, make sure they speicalize in your particular issues. Many will say they do but clearly don't. If this person is associated with any of the above entities you need to make a formal complaint. THese kinds of doctor's have driven people off the deep end!
I'm not giving you medical advice just saying PLEASE don't even for a second give this character any of your time. Move on. Sorry he was such a jerk.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: NJ
Posts: 594
I agree good job and a way to go on seeking help!!! Unfortunatly there are a lot of Quacks out there! If you do try aa there are alot of people that have been thru all this and might knoe of good drs Im so sorry you were let down sweetie!! but dont give up you have strength! keep coming here read and post!! We are all here
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Where the sun is always shining
Posts: 425
Originally Posted by bayliss 
Hey everyone...
So I may have told you guys that my GP told me that he can't do much for me with regards to my depression, anxiety and drinking so he referred me to a psychiatrist that I went to see today. I was really looking forward to talking with someone that knew deep down all that goes on with people.
I left after that appointment upset, even more depressed, crying and hopeless.
We didn't even talk about the drinking or depression or anything - other then the obvious he stated - "if you don't stop drinking you will only get worse and die", he also said that he doesn't think I am an alcoholic even though I told him I drank every night for the past two years.
The reason why I was so upset...is that when you're trying to quit drinking...and are an addict...you feel crappy about yourself in general...you feel like you can't fight the addiction sometimes because the cravings are just too big. You feel like you fail yourself and the loved ones around you all the time.
This man said to me that I blame others for my problems, that I am not depressed or anxious, that it's not possible to get work stress and that it is just "work irritation", that it's life and I have to deal with it and get over it. I asked him why then have I been diagnosed with mental health issues since I was 14 years old? He then told me not to blame the doctors - that I was just blaming people once again. I never once said during the consult that I was blaming anyone for anything. I know that it is all my own fault. He said that I am self-sabotaging myself and that I probably won't find a better job then the one that I am at now and he also told me to consider going back to school and to - and I seriously quote this - "ask for Daddy's money".
It was completely unprofessional, rude, confrontational, non-sympathetic and worst appointment I have ever gone too.
I feel 100x worse then when I went in there. I was so optimistic. And now I am sitting here thinking that I have probably put people through more hell then I already have because this is what he thinks.
Once again...he knew nothing about me...asked me some things in point form and everything...he was just so rude. Sometimes he would even say to me "I don't understand your way of thinking on that one"....WELL MR APPARENT PSYCHIATRIST, NEITHER DO I AND THAT IS WHY I AM HERE SEEING YOU.
I even told my boyfriend a bit of this and all he said was "hm...okay, gotta go, I will talk to you about it after work" which made me even more sad!
This is just a sad day for me. :'(
It was supposed to be about anxiety and getting off alcohol/my relationship with it and addiction...it wasn't supposed to be this.
So I may have told you guys that my GP told me that he can't do much for me with regards to my depression, anxiety and drinking so he referred me to a psychiatrist that I went to see today. I was really looking forward to talking with someone that knew deep down all that goes on with people.
I left after that appointment upset, even more depressed, crying and hopeless.
We didn't even talk about the drinking or depression or anything - other then the obvious he stated - "if you don't stop drinking you will only get worse and die", he also said that he doesn't think I am an alcoholic even though I told him I drank every night for the past two years.
The reason why I was so upset...is that when you're trying to quit drinking...and are an addict...you feel crappy about yourself in general...you feel like you can't fight the addiction sometimes because the cravings are just too big. You feel like you fail yourself and the loved ones around you all the time.
This man said to me that I blame others for my problems, that I am not depressed or anxious, that it's not possible to get work stress and that it is just "work irritation", that it's life and I have to deal with it and get over it. I asked him why then have I been diagnosed with mental health issues since I was 14 years old? He then told me not to blame the doctors - that I was just blaming people once again. I never once said during the consult that I was blaming anyone for anything. I know that it is all my own fault. He said that I am self-sabotaging myself and that I probably won't find a better job then the one that I am at now and he also told me to consider going back to school and to - and I seriously quote this - "ask for Daddy's money".
It was completely unprofessional, rude, confrontational, non-sympathetic and worst appointment I have ever gone too.
I feel 100x worse then when I went in there. I was so optimistic. And now I am sitting here thinking that I have probably put people through more hell then I already have because this is what he thinks.
Once again...he knew nothing about me...asked me some things in point form and everything...he was just so rude. Sometimes he would even say to me "I don't understand your way of thinking on that one"....WELL MR APPARENT PSYCHIATRIST, NEITHER DO I AND THAT IS WHY I AM HERE SEEING YOU.
I even told my boyfriend a bit of this and all he said was "hm...okay, gotta go, I will talk to you about it after work" which made me even more sad!
This is just a sad day for me. :'(
It was supposed to be about anxiety and getting off alcohol/my relationship with it and addiction...it wasn't supposed to be this.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 117
OMG. What a complete A-hole. I'm sorry you ended up in his office. Find a different doctor. AND tell your GP what happened. In fact, CALL your GP's office and let him or her know what a ***** this person is. I might try to get a referral through an outpatient treatment center. You'll find someone who is qualified that way.
Yikes. So sorry you went through this. Egads.
Yikes. So sorry you went through this. Egads.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 518
Thanks everyone for the replies and support. It really has helped...the lump in my throat is almost gone...
I really just couldn't believe that this man, who has no idea who I am, would say all these hurtful things....
Can you also believe that he says he thinks I am PRETENDING?? What the heck is that even supposed to mean?! Pretending what??
I will call my GP - what should I tell him? Just how unprofessional and rude he was. I really hope that my Doc sides with me or I am just going to feel totally abandoned.
Can you imagine if someone that was deeply deeply depressed when to this a**hole? I don't even want to think about it. I am still seriously in disbelief and I feel like I am in lala-land because I didn't think that it would be possible that people like this are out there teaching medicine!!!!
I really just couldn't believe that this man, who has no idea who I am, would say all these hurtful things....
Can you also believe that he says he thinks I am PRETENDING?? What the heck is that even supposed to mean?! Pretending what??
I will call my GP - what should I tell him? Just how unprofessional and rude he was. I really hope that my Doc sides with me or I am just going to feel totally abandoned.
Can you imagine if someone that was deeply deeply depressed when to this a**hole? I don't even want to think about it. I am still seriously in disbelief and I feel like I am in lala-land because I didn't think that it would be possible that people like this are out there teaching medicine!!!!
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NS, Canada
Posts: 160
Some people just don't "get it", even though it is their job to "get it". Your psych is probably good help to the type of patient that he wants - but that doesn't make him a good psych to everyone. He clearly is not the right match for what you need.
Reminds me of the first divorce lawyer I made an appt. with - what a JERK! I can still see him looking at me, lying back in his chair, legs out, hands hehind his head .. staring at me in silence .. after I came to ask him what my options are, what to do, etc... He just sat there, as if I was just wasting his time. He asked what I wanted. I said I didn't know where to start - I never got a divorce before .. What do I do? ...... He obviously didn't want my business. I personally don't think he liked women as clients .. just a feeling. I was nervous and didn't know what I was doing; I came to ask for guidance. He was arrogent as h#ll ... I walked out half-way through our "talk".
... Anyway, I guess my point is that there are all kinds out there. This lawyer might have been awesome for HIS type of client. I wasn't for him and he wasn't for me.
Definitely see another psych. And if that one doesn't feel right, try another. Don't let one jerk cause you to lose faith - there are great ones out there. Maybe you can find some reviews online. (And leave your own on this guy if the option is there.). Good luck, and hang in there.
Reminds me of the first divorce lawyer I made an appt. with - what a JERK! I can still see him looking at me, lying back in his chair, legs out, hands hehind his head .. staring at me in silence .. after I came to ask him what my options are, what to do, etc... He just sat there, as if I was just wasting his time. He asked what I wanted. I said I didn't know where to start - I never got a divorce before .. What do I do? ...... He obviously didn't want my business. I personally don't think he liked women as clients .. just a feeling. I was nervous and didn't know what I was doing; I came to ask for guidance. He was arrogent as h#ll ... I walked out half-way through our "talk".
... Anyway, I guess my point is that there are all kinds out there. This lawyer might have been awesome for HIS type of client. I wasn't for him and he wasn't for me.
Definitely see another psych. And if that one doesn't feel right, try another. Don't let one jerk cause you to lose faith - there are great ones out there. Maybe you can find some reviews online. (And leave your own on this guy if the option is there.). Good luck, and hang in there.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Vancouver BC Canada
Posts: 384
Hmm as people have mentioned get another opinion. I once had a psychiatrist who was similarly uninterested in what I had to say or my history and then proceeded to announce before the end of the session what my problem was...after never getting much input from me. I never went back and never looked back.
I now see a social worker so she can't prescribe meds but wow , she sure can listen. My GP handles my meds. I am grateful I have a great counselor and GP and its not easy to find them.
Look for a therapist who actually understands and treats alcoholism and/or other addictions. Many so called therapists have no clue other than what they may have covered briefly in med school and cast their own opinion about without any relevant and up to date facts from research and treatment. It may not be a psychiatrist but better than someone who does not understand the problem.
I now see a social worker so she can't prescribe meds but wow , she sure can listen. My GP handles my meds. I am grateful I have a great counselor and GP and its not easy to find them.
Look for a therapist who actually understands and treats alcoholism and/or other addictions. Many so called therapists have no clue other than what they may have covered briefly in med school and cast their own opinion about without any relevant and up to date facts from research and treatment. It may not be a psychiatrist but better than someone who does not understand the problem.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 9
Originally Posted by bayliss
Thanks everyone for the replies and support. It really has helped...the lump in my throat is almost gone...
I really just couldn't believe that this man, who has no idea who I am, would say all these hurtful things....
Can you also believe that he says he thinks I am PRETENDING?? What the heck is that even supposed to mean?! Pretending what??
I will call my GP - what should I tell him? Just how unprofessional and rude he was. I really hope that my Doc sides with me or I am just going to feel totally abandoned.
Can you imagine if someone that was deeply deeply depressed when to this a**hole? I don't even want to think about it. I am still seriously in disbelief and I feel like I am in lala-land because I didn't think that it would be possible that people like this are out there teaching medicine!!!!
I really just couldn't believe that this man, who has no idea who I am, would say all these hurtful things....
Can you also believe that he says he thinks I am PRETENDING?? What the heck is that even supposed to mean?! Pretending what??
I will call my GP - what should I tell him? Just how unprofessional and rude he was. I really hope that my Doc sides with me or I am just going to feel totally abandoned.
Can you imagine if someone that was deeply deeply depressed when to this a**hole? I don't even want to think about it. I am still seriously in disbelief and I feel like I am in lala-land because I didn't think that it would be possible that people like this are out there teaching medicine!!!!
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Hi Bayliss -
Just so I'm clear, are you going to see this person to prescribe you medication or are you going to them for therapy?
Either way, sounds like a rough situation. I meet with my psychiatrist purely for the purposes of moderating/adjusting my medication and he was recommended to me by my therapist. Maybe try asking someone other than your GP -- IME, GP's have a pretty rudimentary grasp of mental health issues, so I'm not sure I'd trust mine 100% for a referral.
Just so I'm clear, are you going to see this person to prescribe you medication or are you going to them for therapy?
Either way, sounds like a rough situation. I meet with my psychiatrist purely for the purposes of moderating/adjusting my medication and he was recommended to me by my therapist. Maybe try asking someone other than your GP -- IME, GP's have a pretty rudimentary grasp of mental health issues, so I'm not sure I'd trust mine 100% for a referral.
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 256
This man is terrible. Had he treated me that way, I would've walked out on him. But...I, (unfortunately perhaps) have years of experience with psychiatrists and/or therapists. The things he said to you in the way he said them were unacceptable, and certainly over the top unacceptable since he didn't even know you.
It's very difficult for depressed people and addicted people to get the guts up to make an appointment and ask for help. You did a courageous thing, and you got a really bad egg. They aren't all like that, I assure you. DO NOT give up, and DO NOT take anything this idiot said to heart. Not one word. By the way, you could report him to the psychiatric board in your state for such behavior. Not that you would necessarily, but you could. It sounds THAT BAD to me.
I know it's hard, but please, try to pretend this never happened, and move on to another doctor. The first time out, you should be "interviewing" him as well as he is getting to know you. There are great docs, and mediocre docs, just like every other profession in life. You just got unlucky with this one.
It's very difficult for depressed people and addicted people to get the guts up to make an appointment and ask for help. You did a courageous thing, and you got a really bad egg. They aren't all like that, I assure you. DO NOT give up, and DO NOT take anything this idiot said to heart. Not one word. By the way, you could report him to the psychiatric board in your state for such behavior. Not that you would necessarily, but you could. It sounds THAT BAD to me.
I know it's hard, but please, try to pretend this never happened, and move on to another doctor. The first time out, you should be "interviewing" him as well as he is getting to know you. There are great docs, and mediocre docs, just like every other profession in life. You just got unlucky with this one.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 518
eJoshua - I went to this man to discuss anxiety and alcoholism...I guess how to cope and how to quit and all that stuff....he didn't prescribe me anything. My GP does that. Although he did tell me to get off all my medication. Don't know why...ugh. It's just a big headache.
I will definitely look around and see if I can find someone else...I am going to complain about this guy as well. He was just super rude and I still can't believe he said half the things he did.
I guess I just have to get over it and know in my heart and in my head, that none of what he said was true...well, maybe SOME things...but definitely not 90% of it.
Thanks to all those who responded.
I will definitely look around and see if I can find someone else...I am going to complain about this guy as well. He was just super rude and I still can't believe he said half the things he did.
I guess I just have to get over it and know in my heart and in my head, that none of what he said was true...well, maybe SOME things...but definitely not 90% of it.
Thanks to all those who responded.
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