StPeteGrad

Ok... this may sound a little odd (or not, knowing us!) but early last summer I found a very wonderful goup that has since become my home group. Nearly everytime I leave the meetings (two a week) I have strength and inner peace and a grin that's hard to shake. It is a very tightly knit group of caring individuals without clics. We have a phone tree to help each other. We welcome the newcomers with open arms and our old-timers normally have very good things to say that are very on point. There is some very long sobriety and some very new, some very active members and some maintenance members. All in all, I cherish this group and its unity.

Here's some relevant background: I first got into AA at an Alano club downtown. They resent being called a 1-2-3 house, but that's all it is for most. It was a great intro to AA but that was it. I ran into a guy tonight at the store that I hadn't seen in 4 or 5 months that got into the program just a months before me at the Alano. I found out that he quit going there for the same reasons I did - drama, outside distractions, cross talk...all kinds of things that make it hard to feel the passion and unity the program can be. We have shared a kinship and it turns out we've been thinking about each other's well being for a while. He's been looking for new group but it sounds like he hasn't found what he's really seeking in a group. I told him about my home group and I can't help but to talk about it with great passion. So he will be joining us Wednesday night. Great, right? Well, I've also invited two other guys I know that are both less than 2 years in to join us who are in a holding pattern as well. They must also feel that passion since they even RSVP'd me.

My concern is this: by inviting these friends to join us, do I run a risk of changing what makes this such a great home group? I want to enhance the program for all those I care about - which enhances mine, of course. But I'm worried about upsetting the group dynamic and losing some of what makes it work so great for me.

For those of you that have been around the rooms for a while, what is your experience with this? The guys I've invited are incredibly wonderful sober people (never met them drunk) and I'm not worried about them jeopardizing the group - but I fear changing something that is so wonderful, but I can't help but to want to share it too!

I'm laughing at myself a little right now because it sounds like yet another AA contradiction but I am concerned.

-Peace

omegasupreme

My experience with bringing MOTR's to Solution-based groups is this:

a) they get uncomfortable and do the Work

b) they get uncomfortable and don't come back

c) they get uncomfortable, drink, and then you get to 12 step them

Taking5

I think you did great. Keep it up.

SteppingItUp

I think it's my responsibility to share what works.

As the spirit of the Responsibility Declaration reminds me:

"I am responsible. When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, I want the hand of A.A. always to be there. And for that: I am responsible."

These are matters of love and service, and I always like to remember, life and death.

Selfless service, humility, letting God in.

I'm so happy you have a home group you feel so grateful and passionate to be a part of. Me too! When I look at the quality of the message and the quality of recovery that is being shared with me, I can't believe how lucky I am. I also happen to feel like i have the best sponsor in the world. It has also taken a lot of footwork, a lot of praying and a lot of patience to find where I believe I'm supposed to be. I hope I can help make it much easier for others to find the same for themselves. I also believe I am lucky I survived the journey before I found the solution, in the rooms.

I continue to attend many different kinds of meetings, for different reasons. I also travel a good deal, and when visiting AA in other areas of the world, I have found it extremely beneficial to ask where people's favorite meetings are, and why they are their favorites. It has helped me so much to be inclusive, and to be included, wherever I go.

Mark75

I frequently sing the praises of the groups I attend... My home group and my other home group...

omegasupreme

To add on to my earlier post....when I stumbled into the Mother Lode I had absolutely zero desire to share the groups with anyone, selfish-selfcentered is the root of my problem. My nature is such that when I find something like that I want to keep it all, like it's going to vanish, or get watered down. So, what did I do? I called some of the men at this group to see what they thought about bringing others, lol. They said exactly what was in my first post, I followed directions...and guess what all three of those bullets came true, some are doing the work, some never came back, and I got to 12 step several others.

langkah

SPG, remember these people were somehow able to withstand your coming around . It sounds like a good group, which has nothing to fear from new people showing up...that's healthy and makes any group more puposeful and fun for the members.

Plus, you'll no longer be the new guy. After being the new guy long enough you'll do anything to get the group to focus on someone else.

GettingStronger2

i have an absolutely wonderful home group in albuquerque. Through that group, i met a gentleman who's home group is in Santa Fe. Last night he shared that meeting with me. Wow, what an amazing experience! I"m so grateful I was able to go. And then have dinner with people who were friends with Mark Houston and Joe Hawk. Quite an experience.

I think we have a responsibility to share. Going to solution based meetings is how our message is carried. It is unlikely the group will change for a few individuals. Rather, the individuals will grow and learn, or will likely quit going.

I think it is great that you have shared the new group with others!

StPeteGrad

Thanks, all. I appreciate the perspectives. In my short experience, AA defies almost everthing that is rational so "thinking" rarely gets me an answer.

I'm glad my AA fellows will get to meet this goup.

btw-I haven't been the new guy for quite a while. I don't think I could take that kind of focus for that long! lol

keithj

Yes, absolutely you do. We give freely of what we have found.

And yes, there will be some growing pains. That's why we have the Traditions, to help us navigate the dynamics of a changing group structure.

My home group has gone through numerous changes, some for the better and perhaps some for the worse. It's no longer the rigid, book thumping, old timer group it started as. Instead, it is a vibrant mix of old and new, all actively engaged in the common solution and carrying the message. We have created the fellowship we craved, and we can't create that without bringing in new people.