lonelystar

Its finally happened,

I have kicked my son out of my house, and I will feel better if i let the whole story out we just let him back into out house last week after he went out and his gf ended up in jail and him high on xanax and alcohol, and the same week on thursday he left the house again only to go on a pill popping drinking benge only to end up at his gf house for some reason the parents let him sleep there they felt sorry for him and I get a call in the morning to go pick him up , actually i get a pleading call from the mom that she didnt want him in her house and from what i gather she was afraid of him and so offi went like the idiot that i am, cops should have been called here, but somehow i got him back home only to have her hop the train and come to my house i was out and had told he she is not allowed into the house she has an addiciton problem herself along with only being 16, well when i came home i found her in his room so i told her nicely she had to leave this minute, her mom for some good knows what reason let her come on a train a 2 hours ride so she could supposedly pick up some of her clothes, well my son got very upset remember he is high , started spitting and cursing at me and something broke inside of me, I told him he had ten minutes to leave my house or else i would call the cops , him and her , he left screaming at me the whole time, as sad as I am that he has chosen to do this to himself my god it felt good, I will not enable him, i will not stand by and watch him kill himself, I WILLLLL NNNOTTTTT, not one more day , not one more second, and although I am going to cry hurt there was no choice for me either, me and my family have lived 3 years of hell with this person, this adult of almost 21 years old, he cant work , he doesnt own a car he left school . I feel like im right , i know it in my heart , he might die out there but god forgive me I had to ...any input woul be greatly appreciated

Kindeyes

I wish I could give you a gentle hug in person. I understand your grief. My son is homeless and it breaks my heart. But he has to learn his lessons without my interference. Our sons have choices. We have choices too. We deserve a life.

lots of gentle hugs from another mom
ke

Freedom1990

((((lonelystar))))

I remember the day I showed my AD to the door, and I have never looked back.

Was it hard? Yes. However, it was necessary for my own sanity and peace of mind.

You did the right thing!

Ann

No matter how many times I let my some come back home, no matter how many promises he made each time, no matter how many boundaries I had in place and no matter how good his intentions may have been...it never once worked out well.

I know how much it hurts, but after a while we really truly "know" that it is the right thing to do, to reclaim our homes and our sanity.

You will be fine. He just may find his bottom sooner when he realizes there are consequences to living like he is living.

Hugs

lonelystar

Thank you all soo soo very much , its so helpfull to let it out and have people that understand how a person gets to a point in ones life where they actually dont want to be around there own flesh and blood, your pushed into this corner little by little . God brought me to this place for a reason I have three other children to think about and a husband although things with him are shaky, my sons addiction has taken a toll on our marriage and just about everything that my son touched, I know he is lost in his addiction, like so many others out there tonight I will be praying for him and all the other addicts, hugs back and I cant thank you all enough for all your helpfull words

greeteachday

I know it is really hard, but you have done the right thing - for you and for your son. He won't find his way without first facing the consequences of his choices.

The only thing I can add to the wise words of the posters before me is that our kids can die just as easily in the comfort of our homes as they can on the streets. One of my daughter's overdoses was in her bedroom...just her, alone, surrounded by all the things a "normal" 19 year old living a middle class life would have.

Kindeyes

One of the sad consequences of addiction is not just what it does to the addict.....it's what it does to their primary codependent and everyone who loves them. Looking back, I realize how my behavior jeopardized my relationship with everyone I love--particularly those closest to me--my husband, my daughter, my mother, my (now deceased) father. How do we get to that point? How do we get to the point that we are willing to sacrifice all of our other relationships for the life of one person? If I had continued on the path I was on, there is no doubt that my husband would have eventually gotten a belly full of me.

Thank you God for returning me to sanity before I lost everything and everyone I love.

gentle hugs
ke

Maple

Kindeyes what was the catalyst that saw you get help?

JMFburns

Maple,

Welcome to SR and thank you for sharing your story.

God has an "interesting" way of putting us in the situations we need to be in to get where we need to be sometimes. I mean really, did you ever think you would be standing in your home, one of your kids spitting at you and you saying "get out or I call the cops." Probably not, but you needed to be pushed to that point to stand up for yourself and the rest of your family, to realize that continuing to open your arms to this broken offspring was just not working, your HP helped push you there.

Yes, it is crazy and scary and every other thing right as it is happening, but as I read your retelling, all I could think was "Wow, that is definetely her HP working for her!"

Good luck and I hope you find a NarAnon or AlAnon meeting to check out.

havehope

Yes, I think you reached your bottom. I am proud of you for taking a stand for yourself and other family members. I know my family lived in so much more peace after my addicted daughter moved out. Yes, it was so hard to change those locks on the doors, but I, my husband and my other daughter deserve to live in peace. We never imagine will will be put in that situation with our children, but in my opinion, you did the right thing. Hugs to you.