seekinganswrs

I dropped my boys off with my mom tonight for her to keep them til Thursday and informed her that me and my AH are going to separate. He will come back in town Friday and while my mom has my boys I am going to pack his stuff up.

Any advice on how to break it to the kids? I had a 'pretend' conversation with them last week about healthy and unhealthy ways to handle stress and we talked about what a 'stressful' situation for them would be.

I've read in some places that it is better to be honest with them and then in other places that it's better to just say, "MOm and dad are going to separate because we have some things we need to work out and we can't do it living together." ????

We separated in 2004 for about 5 months, but they were only 6 and 4 then, so it was a little easier. Now they are 11 and 13, almost 12 and 14 very soon, so any advice on what has worked................???

Kahlia

I can only tell you what I know...It is better to come out and just tell them that you and their father are haviung some "issues" that need to be worked on and you are going to be apart for awhile. Tell them the truth, that you really do not know how long that will be. Children are so much more resilient than you think to the truth not to a lie. Lying will only make you lie again. You AH needs to get sober and his children do not need to watch him drink nor suffer the consequences of his actions and neither do you. Kids pick up on trension. When my AH step-father was drinking and I was 14, I was a basket-case. Better off away from it all. I wish you all the best and your children Peace.

Blessings,
Kahlia

Kindeyes

Honesty is the best policy. Age appropriate discussion. Never saying anything bad about their Dad. And allowing them to feel their feelings and work through them. Counseling if you think they need it.

Those are my best thoughts and in retrospect about my own situation.....those are the things that I wish I had done better.

gentle hugs
ke