naydeen40

Past few nights coming home walking in the building the house smells like weed and is very triggering for me. Would you say something to your neighbors?

LaFemme

Ugh...that's a hard one. Was pot your DOC?

naydeen40

yeah

LaFemme

What's your relationship with them? Maybe they can put a wet towel under their door?

naydeen40

they just moved in a month ago and they keep to themselves. the smell is going away....but still makes it hard for me.

defyinggravity

Oh man, I don't know what to tell you...but I sympathize. That'd be really hard for me, too. I would be really tempted to approach them - in a non-confrontational manner - and ask them if they could try to take measures to prevent the smoke smell from affecting the rest of the building. Putting a towel under the door often helps...but yeah, I'd be really tempted to say something to try to protect my sobriety.

LaFemme

I'd agree on trying to find a nice way to approach them....and remember,you aren't the one Doing anything wrong

naydeen40

I knocked on their door and was really nice and said I really dont know how to say this but I am in recovery and the house smells like weed. I said I don't care what you do - maybe do it outside the house so my apt doesnt smell like it. Of course she denied it and said she only smokes cigs - big difference in the smells.

sugarbear1

What did you expect? Sorry. I have young punks smoking on the balcony across from my little yard, they even hold the baggie up high...

I no longer use my binoculars to get high vicariously..

They're just loud...

Biza

Well she may deny it but she was called out. I'd hope she would be more careful now that she knows it leaks out.

Its a bit rotten that she wouldnt respect your wishes and just smoke outside or in a ventilated area.

LoftyIdeals

I'm willing to bet that you've resolved your problem. Kudos to you for handling it adeptly!

Threshold

Hmmm....just musing, thinking about how I would have reacted, both to the person and in my own head and behavior, if someone came to my door and said that when I was still using.

I know it's rough, and I know the world is full of triggers. And you had every right to speak up. So I am not suggesting you shouldn't have spoken to the neighbor. But looking into the future, and me speaking to myself on the subject, learning to deal with triggers is one of those things in recovery.

What's cool is that you identified a trigger, came here with the situation, and handled it in a really healthy confrontation. I am very impressed.

I have been clean (this time) for about four months, and am facing my triggers, which is a nice change for me, because previously I was more about running away from my triggers. As I work my recovery program I am learning to face things. So many of my situations were caused by my bizarre avoidance of any manner of confrontation, even good ones.

Yesterday I had a trigger, and instead of running, I was able to stop and think about it, about why I felt the urge in that situation, and what else could I do other than use, obsess over using, feel sorry for myself for NOT using...that might actually help.

That was a step for me. I spent my life running away from things when I was using, I don't want to spend my sober life running away.

Keep us posted on what the neighbors do!