Froglet

Hi,

I suffer from anxiety. I am 30 years old and have only sought out medical advice when I had insurance. They could not really pinpoint exactly what it might be, but after trying Propanolol, Xanax, Ativan, Lexapro, etc, we came to the conclusion that KPIN would work the BEST FOR ME! They generalized it as some sort of social anxiety, which I too felt was a truthful diagnosis.

Boy KPIN was magical. When I first took it, I felt the buzz, and over the past few months, I've never increased my dosage, in fact I took less than what was prescribed.

At work, I would use to sweat at the littlest of things. My manager would talk to me, and if the conversation was prolonged or against me, I would feel myself starting to sweat. During meetings, if I was called upon to speak up or be put on the spot, I would sweat. These sweats were embarrassing and have haunted me in the real world. (I hold a white collar job)

Through experimentation I have found the dosage that works best for me. I would time my intake, before meetings and it would be good, but I paid dearly w/ mental confusion and a change in my chemistry. On average, I would take just .25MG-.50MG/week, and it would last me the whole work week. On weekends, I binge, which is why I'm here.

I suspect everything plays a role in my anxiety, but nothing has shaken me up more than feeling a panic attack coming on while driving. I have never in my life felt this way, my legs would stiffen and I would have to pull over and calm myself down. I've had these episodes since being on the benzos (in the past year). However, in the past years which I just took my sweat as is, I had never had this happen to me. In fact, I was an extremely enthusiastic about driving. I was into cars.

NOW, I am trying to be brave, and seek alternative solutions. I DO NOT WANT TO TAKE BENZOS AT ALL, and WANT TO QUIT DRINKING. I feel like BENZOs have changed me and I feel it. Even at .25MG, this thing is STRONG.

- - -

I took .25MG on Tuesday, and today (Wednesday), I had this panic episode, granted I drank a large cup of coffee at work today which made me jitter. On the way home, I felt weird and kept thinking to myself, not to panic. I can't seem to be together as one w/ my brain drugged up. I didn't realize coffee would actually elevate my anxiety, but I suspect it caused the twitching. More so, I think benzos prevented my nervous system from calming itself.

What do you folks think? I know its messy, but I beg. =(

Justfor1

I took Ativan daily for over 2 years. I'm an alcoholic as well but I believe that the benzos have changed my central nervous system for life. I've been off benzos for a while now & struggle more with anxiety now then I did before I started taking them. I was recently prescribed Propanolol & it seems to help a little. Not as much as the Ativan did though.

Froglet

What was your dosage? For ativan and propanlolol?

I think I might want to go back to propanolol?

checkmate1

I had major anxiety/depression/panic attack episodes. No medication will work to its full potential while still drinking. I only learnt this through quitting alcohol 5 months ago. Froglet forget about the booze or you will continue to struggle. In my opinion I'd rather be on benzo's than drinking. THE DRINK IS F***ING YOU UP!

Froglet

My only progression is that I dont drink on weekdays, yet weekends I still binge. I'm trying hard, it's Friday!!

Thanks guys.. I've read lots of bad things about benzos, I think both play a role, but benzos to be the worst. Because b4 the benzos, I've never had this issue, even while drinking. =(

AI

Freedom1990

I couldn't agree more. I was a binge drinker with horrible anxiety in between binges.

It's a miserable way to live.

I couldn't begin to address my mental health issues properly until I achieved sobriety.

Pats11

You can beat the benzo's! I did, and it is wonderful to be on the other side. I was taking 10-12 1mg. xanax pills a day, and if I can do it, anyone can. I wish you well, friend!

Froglet

That's a big dosage. I cannot do w/o my weekly dosage of .25MG at work. If lucky, I can, but sometimes I just feel like a break down.

I am going to first ELIMINATE alcohol on the weekends and see where I progress. Maybe eliminating alcohol for a few months will really help. If not, at least its one problem under my belt.

If it cures EVERYTHING, then HURRAH. One things for sure, alcohol is bad.

checkmate1

Froglet I think when you say that you'll give alcohol away for a while which will be very good for you and your anxiety it won't be as easy as it seems. I moderated my drinking for over a year sometimes only 7 standard drinks a week sometimes less. It's a battle for alcoholics for total abstinence it will take alot of work and a full commitment to a sober way of life. If you get to 3 months and still experience equal anxiety to what your experiencing now and sweating I'll be surprised. I think if you try to give away alcohol as well as the benzo's at the same time you will have a very difficult time with sobriety. Keep us posted to what you decide to do.

Froglet

Thanks for the support. I'll report every week or something, and let you folks know how it goes. I agree w/ the moderation, it isn't as easy, but I hope it goes well.

So far, I am unable to get off the benzos, even though the dosage is relatively little.

checkmate1

I find and always found it hard to reduce the benzos especially if you need them for work as well as socially. As for moderation with alcohol I kept a calendar and recorded how much I drank for about 5 years. During this time I was drinking light beers most of the time. It was a real drag counting the drinks and then getting disapointed if I had to many on any 1 day. I wasn't having a good time moderating because I was binge drinker and loved the buzz. It took alot of self-control to moderate but I did it anyway and it was hard. When it all became to hard I went back to binge drinking then I hit my bottom and been sober ever since. I even gave up cigarettes for 4 years thinking that was the problem fact is you have to give up the thing you love the most which was drinking for me in the end and was happy I did it.

Augie

I took Ativan for 12 years and finished a 40 day taper off of 3mg daily about 3 months ago. To help deal with withdrawal and the heightened anxiety I've been experiencing since then, I've found niacinamide (one form that vitamin B3 comes in) helpful (in addition to meditation, exercise, cutting way back on caffeine). I try to take it regularly (1000mg twice daily), but sometimes I forget, for a day or more, and the next time I do get anxious I seem to feel calmer an hour or two after taking it. Some degree of placebo I reckon, but I know others have found it helpful, and I believe it does play a role in the GABA-eric system and influence neurotransmitter metabolism in a manner comparable to benzos...

Froglet

I forgot to ask, does it genuinely take a few months to see improvements? I made my first weekend clean from drinking and though I am not sure what it could be, I feel slight headache and some cravings.

I feel like I need the benzos to control my brain activity for work, but I take a small dosage per week. Still, I can feel the effects of it.

I hope to actually see some change in my anxiety, but sometimes I don't know if it's due to the benzos I've been taking for the past year or so, or because my drinking finally caught up.

Either way, I figured by being sober, I can at least understand my body and give my body a chance.