StayinS0ber

Hi, I am 28 years old and I've been drinking pretty heavily for the past 8 or 9 years. I started in college and I've had a tough time stopping. I drink at least 2 or 3 times a week and every single time I drink myself to oblivion to the point where it takes me 2 or 3 days to recover. I finally reached a point in my life where my drinking got the best of me. It's destroyed relationships with friends, family, and even affected my job performance so I've decided to quit. For the longest time I kept telling myself that I could handle going out and having a couple of drinks but now i know that I can't. I don't do a couple of drinks. I drink fifth of vodka.

It'll be exactly 2 weeks that I will have been sober tomorrow and I'm definitely feeling a difference. I sleep better, (dream a lot while I sleep for some reason) and have more energy. I guess those are the immediate positive effects or quitting alcohol. On the negative side, I'm having a very difficult time focusing and finding interest in things. Is this normal ? I get bored easily and more important I find myself very lonely. In order to cut my drinking I've had to part with most of my friends. How do I cope with boredom and loneliness ? Any suggestions and feedback is greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance

eJoshua

Welcome to SR!

Yes -- what you are going through is normal. The ability to focus came back for me after about two to three months. I didn't take any interest in anything for a while too and it was hard for me to get motivated.

As far as loneliness and boredom go, I would try to make some new sober friends. I did this through my recovery group, you could try AA possibly.

Congratulations on 2 weeks! That's a big accomplishment. I'm 4+ months in and things are getting better every day -- no joke.

JimE

Hi StayinSober and welcome, Good goin' on 2 weeks now. There was a big change for me at first as far as what I did during any given day or evening. I started going to meetings and hanging out with people I met there, going out for coffee afterwards and chatting. What I was used to had to change because that involved drinking like you describe. Lots of self destructive thoughts and behavior on a daily basis as I searched for oblivion.

Are you involved in a recovery program? There are ways besides AA but that's what I did. This is a good place for you to meet people too.

Dee74

Welcome to SR StayinS0ber

Congratulations on your two weeks - thats great!

Drinking (and/or drugging) was a very big part of most of our lives here - I think it's very normal to feel a little lost, a little shellshocked when we give all that up....it really is a change in lifestyle.

I found I had to rebuild my life from the ground up, brick by brick. It takes some time and effort but it's not as hard as that sentence might look lol - and you'll find tons of support and encouragement here

good to have you with us!
D

Veritas1

I can relate. It sounds like once you have one drink, you are looking for the next one.

Trying to stop, and being unable to stay stopped is something else I can relate with as well.

I am glad to read that you have been able to stop now for two weeks. Congratulations. It may be time to incorporate a program of recovery into your life.

There are many people that have found a way out. I would reach out and call the AA hotline in your area, and get some telephone numbers of members near you. Let people that have found a way to live without drinking help you.

It's really helpful for me to be able to pick up the phone and call someone that understands, is there for me, can help.

Creating a new network of people in recovery to support us helps. There is no reason to be lonely. Reach out. Move your feet, my sponsor says...find out where AA meetings are near you. There are so many different people, I am sure you can find some new friends!

instant

Hang in there mate. The first two months are the worst with unstable emotions and feeling lost. I had a lot of agst and ennuii that was intense. I am still noticing big improvements week by week and I am now 112 days. I still don't really know what to do with myself but I am working on it.

I would not go back to drinking. Sober life has a future but we have to work at that.

Things I found helpful included

joining a daily support thread on SR
Posting daily on the gratitude thread
Reading the BigBook free online
AVRT short course at Rational Recovery free online

CarolD

I'm glad you started your sober journey....Congratulations....

By the time I quit drinking...my social life and friends were all centered
around drinking. Most drifted away when I declared I was heading into
a sober future and had joined a local AA group.
They thought I had lost my mind.

However I soon made new friends who shared my goals and we had a blast doing all sorts of interesting and fun things outside of meetings.

I entered AA lonely...sad and had no idea what to expect
and found a room full of friends not yet met....

Welcome ....

artsoul

Welcome, StayinSOber - 2 weeks is a great start!

It seems like everyone struggles to some extent with boredom and loneliness at first. It's a little like breaking up..... and if you've been with someone for 8 or 9 years, it's going to take more than a couple weeks to "move on."

Infact, when I was drinking, my days were soooo predictable..... At least with sobriety, we have lots of options!

Just take it a day at a time. You have lots of new friends here.

nandm

Welcome to SR

Congrats on your 2 weeks

Yes, boredom and loneliness is not uncommon in early recovery. When we take away alcohol we take away what we did to fill the boredom times, we tend to avoid hanging out with people when they are drinking and the majority of our friends drank so we find we are lonely. What happens is we have to learn to live life without alcohol. For me that took getting some outside help, I was not able to do it alone. I needed a program of recovery to teach me. There are many recovery programs out there personally AA is the one that worked for me. I encourage you to find one that you feel will work for you. Hang in there though as it will get better as you learn how to live life, do friendships, and do things without drinking. Don't beat yourself up in the meantime.

hector

Congratulations on your two weeks of sobriety. It's yours.

AA meetings are a safe place. For an hour or so, you're not going to drink. Most evening meetings on weekends have a "meeting after the meeting" at a coffee shop. It's a great way to meet new people and develop friendships away from the meetings. AA is not for everyone, but it might be for you.

recoverywfaith

to SR.

SR and AA is helping me to change my life one day at a time. That can happen for you too. Congrats on your sobriety!!

Boleo

Someone wrote a book called "There is more to quitting drinking than quitting drinking". It certainly was true for me. I had to get used to being alone with my thoughts and feelings all day for the first time in my adult life.

I used alcohol to sweep those thoughts and feelings under the rug for so long that I thought it was abnormal to feel bored and lonely once in a while. Normal people do feel that way sometimes but do something positive about it instead of something negative like using drugs and alcohol.

So what is my solution? I had to make a new set of friends who knew how to enjoy life sober. I had to find ways to make myself useful to others. I had to learn how to use prayer and meditation for more than disaster recovery.

Meditation really is a vital tool in my life today. Try looking into some Eastern religion like Buddhism, Hinduism or Taoism.

StayinS0ber

Thanks you for the replies. I guess I just have to be patient and develop an new sober lifestyle. Im happy to know that things will get better and that gives me the motivation to stay sober.

Best to all,

G