ttbp

There's a birthday in our office today, one of the guys that work for me. All my colleagues are going to the pub at lunchtime and in the past I would have gone too and bought him a birthday pint. No one at work (and not many people out of work) know that I'm in recovery so there still expecting me to go and buy booze -although I won't be drinking I feel uncomfortable doing this....

Also - same sort of situation with my friend tonight, she does know about my recovery and we're going to the cinema and for dinner. I'm driving so will pick her up but nothing has changed with splitting the bill for dinner, even though I won't be drinking Am I just being super sensitive?? I just DON'T want to be buying booze at the moment - or even contributing

dingding

I know how you feel. Bying a bithday drink used to make me feel I had some sort of magical bond with my friends. When I do it now it feels stupid as I am not having a drink with them. There are so many silly social rules with alcohol in the uk. ( I never thought I would say that!!)

Everyone i know is a drinker and it's very dificult to talk to them about this as it makes me feel like the strange one. I like the minimum fuss possible surrounding my soberity so i usually just grin and bare it.

SomethingBetter

I remember going to lunch with friends when I was drinking, there’s no way I’d split bills now if booze is involved, booze is expensive, especially if you don’t drink, I think when we quit drinking changes have to be made all around, for me it’s “No Drink’em, No Buy’em”.

I guess the birthday thing would be hard though, but pubs are another area of my life thats changed, I just dont go to places like that.

sugarbear1

Why drink during work? Why not grab a cake and bring in to work?

ttbp

I AM NOT DRINKING AT WORK Sugarbear as I don't drink anymore.

As for why my colleagues are - that's their choice.

LoftyIdeals

ttbp...tough spot. Not sure what I'd do. But, like somethingbetter, I'd probably avoid the pub. You could make some excuse and offer to buy your employees lunch. As for the date? It depends; I'd probably venture to share with her, but I don't know the trust level or relationship.

Good Luck!

ttbp

I have avoided the pub, luckily a meeting came up so I couldn't go

eJoshua

Be careful -- going out with work colleagues who didn't know i was in recovery led to a relapse for me!

Best wishes

CarolD

Hmm...
When you order dinner..simply ask for separate checks.

For work situations....begin your own unique custom. A sillycard?
A fancy coffee and or pastry before work begins?

I don't buy alcohol either....and make no apology for not doing so.

Glad you are having a fresh start on your sobriety....