Brownm

My bf has returned to AA. He has been sober for 4 days. His mood swings are horrible. He wants me around but when I go around him he doesn't speak to me and he is a Sour Puss. I am reading Codependent No More and I am trying to detach from him. However, I am having a difficult time. He want me at his house when he gets off of work. I can only assume because he won't talk to me, that getting off work and going home is a trigger for him, thus the reason why he wants me there. But, it is no fun when I am there and he ignores me. I am not sure what to do. I want to be there for him, but when I am there he acts as if I am not there. I am in AA too and I have almost 3 weeks sober. He won't get a sponser, he want's to talk to mine instead. I don't have a problem with it but my Sponser told him he needed to get his own Sponser. I'm afraid if I tell him No, that I don't want to go to his house, he'll go out and get drunk.
Any suggestions?

wellnowwhat

Congratulations on your own 3 weeks and getting a sponser.

If you don't want to go to his house, don't.

If he goes out and gets drunk and this is his reason, it was going to happen sooner or later anyway for some other insignificant reason. NOT YOUR FAULT.

His recovery is his and yours is yours.

Please act in a way that will protect YOUR recovery. That way at least one of you may be successful.

Sending best wishes to both of you!

Freedom1990

I couldn't agree more. You are not responsible for his sobriety, including being miserable at his house.

Focus on you and your recovery. I also recommend you get your hands on the book "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. Also check into Alanon meetings in your area. Many of us are double winners-both AA and Alanon.

Congratulations on your 3 weeks, and please continue to post, okay?

stepsforward

Codepenedent no more - great book read it