thequest

Is manipulation a learned/developed trait or skill?

The problem one not only likes to talk fast & first to ram home his point he also gives a mild head nod up and down as to plant the suggestion yes his idea is a good idea. He also likes to slowy point a finger at you as he is making his point. He even says things like his view or idea is a better idea. And always tries to belittle or berate you as well.

Most of the time we just ignore but if you don't challenge him not only does he really think he has his way or is right he challanges you even harder simply because you didn't respond to him on que.

Is manipulation or using the power of suggestion a learned trait or this is natural body language?

Lenina

I think it's a survival skill perfected by both alcoholics/addicts and codies. If I had to guess, I'd say it's a toss up as to who is better at the manipulation.

Love,

Lenina

Ann

When someone rants and raves talking fast and loud, I love to just wait until they are done, look them in the eye and say "could you repeat that please?"

This is best done with a good pair of Nikes on, and an open door not far away

I love Cynical One's reply because I know that I too have been guilty of the drama gestures to catch attention.

Either side, it's not pretty and it IS manipulative.

Hugs

thequest

One of his power of suggestion techniques or plant the seed of desperate need is he'll talk about things like how the homeless live off beef gravy, he's lost soo much weight lately or a flatout I'm starving yet still driving a luxary car, still plenty of belly left and enough money for sport drinks AND name brand stuff(no generics or dollar menu yet).

Freedom1990

When I was active in my addictions, manipulation was definitely a tool I used with great frequency.

thequest

You can ignore the substance but if he percieves you are ignoring him he's get's even madder. His attempts for sympathy and money are so blatantly obvious and lame it's funny but dare not laugh in front of him.

Forgot to add he was always a hothead but as far as things like an affirmative head nod or planting the seeds for his suggestion started as an older adult. Since he spent alot of time in management I'm wondering if he was taught that as to sell an idea at a meeting not that it matters.

I'm thinking more & more there is more than alcohol,steroids and sports supplements at work here. He's had huge debts for well over a decade with a very good job and no mortgage. I saw where Dr Drew is treating the steroid guy Jeremy Jackson like a stimulant addict so would it be safe to assume that a steroid user would be more likely to use stimulants? I hope that's not the case because Jackson had a history of meth use.

thequest

I agree I can avoid & ignore him but it's the rest of family & friends(who he's been steadly alienating as well). There is still family in total shock about his financial dealings let alone his behavior. Although the elders in particular are starting to say things like I never though I'd see the day etc(for them it's progress). They know something's up but don't want to flatout admit or talk about it yet.