atdawn

Hello,
STBXAH and I are getting a full separation agreement done before filing for divorce. For now we have a temporary agreement. The temporary agreement says that to have access to the children he has to have abstained from alcohol at least 24 hours prior seeing them and has to abstain whilst with them.

Now, he has been sober a year, and in the full separation agreement there is no such clause. I asked the lawyer via email about keeping this clause in and he did not answer and did not put it in the draft. When I initially met with him I think I touched on the ‘what if’ he relapses and he kind of dismissed it saying anything can happen in life. And I know that, that anything can happen etc... I just want to make sure I have everything I can get covered, covered.

Any use in such a clause? I mean he could always cover up anyways...
So basically what I would like to know is if anyone has been in a similar situation: does your agreement contain any special clause regarding substance abuse?

Thanks,
Dawn

Leaping

Yes, my divorce clause clearly states what the expectations are for visitation with the children. My situation is different because there is no sustained recovery. Remember that your attorney works for YOU, dont be intimitated by the fancy degree and diploma, he is there to represent your wishes. Be very clear in what you want put in the agreement and it is his job to make it happen. Yes, anything can happen in life - but that is no reason not to take a potential relapse and guard aganist it.

StarCat

You are paying your attorney, and what you are asking him to do is legal, so there's no reason for him to refuse. If he does not put it in, you have every right to terminate your agreement with him and hire someone else who will actually follow through with what you want. It sounds like this one is only interested in what he wants and doesn't want.


You are doing the right thing.
You have every right to protect your children.
It doesn't matter that it's something that could be covered up. It's a legal protection for you, and if there is a relapse, and he does cover it up when spending time with the children, then you have full rights to legal action against him to protect your children. That's more important than anything else, including your STBXAH's feelings.

Pelican

Yes, I have that clause in my final divorce papers.

It states that neither party is to have alcohol around while in custody of our child. That includes me. I am responsible for keeping her away from alcohol while in my care too. I agreed to having the clause dually listed.

I wanted the clause in my divorce agreement to protect myself from his alcoholic behavior. I did not want to have to RE-prove he had an issue with alcohol 3 years down the road if he had a relapse. I wanted it in the final papers so that if there is a relapse, I can protect my daughter from being in his care while under the influence.

atdawn

Thanks a lot for all your replies. I emailed the lawyer asking for the clause to be put in and for him not to charge me for the redrafting of the agreeement or the email I had to re-send him about this. Waiting to hear back.
Thanks again.