defyinggravity

Well, while another thread I posted has been being discussed, I've been on quite the coke binge...I started snorting it but that just wasn't enough and quickly moved on to injecting. So...I start outpatient treatment tomorrow. Which is a result of "pressure" from my therapist who is extremely concerned (and rightly so) about my increasingly risky behaviors. She didn't QUITE give me an ultimatum (you do something or I'll be forced to act because now you're unsafe and a danger to yourself) but I understand that that is not far off (again, rightly so) and that has motivated me to take a more drastic step than just going to meetings (which admittedly, I haven't been doing in the past week). Sigh. Here we go again...!

suki44883

Glad you're going to try again. This can be the last time you have to go through this.

mubu

I wish you the best on your treatment.

defyinggravity

I just feel so stupid :/ and I'm kind of in that whole "why me" whiny phase right now because I don't want to be doing this - I just hate it so much. Using drugs, being high...I don't like it but I can't stop. Which just really sucks right now. Sorry to be so whiny...it's annoying even me but just...blah.

Antiderivative

I wish you the best. I had my battles with cocaine also. Its tough, but certainly conquerable.

Here is some info on Cocaine, Craving, And Relapse which you may find helpful.
Cocaine Craving & Relapse

April999

You are moving in the right direction by getting help.

1undone

If the help is available grab and hold on tightly! . I wish you all the best and I hope you know how important you are!!!!

Dee74

I'm glad you're reaching out and getting help dg

D

defyinggravity

thanks, all. really struggling after a "pseudo" suicide attempt last night (I think I actually knew it wouldn't kill me, but was really hoping it would anyway, so I don't know what to call it if the intent was there without technically doing anything that would provide the desired result). Anyway...checking into the hospital today - therapist won't have it any other way...thank god for her. Will keep you all updated when possible! prayers from the praying sort appreciated...

Anna

I'm so glad you're seeking help.

recoverywfaith

All my prayers DG

newby1961

Please hang in there and get the help you need. We need you on here alive & well

Remember the only shame in relapsing is in not coming back.

Peace & blessings

Dee74

I'm really glad to hear that you're getting help and will be safe DG
take care

D