gaijin

Yesterday, I went to the gym. I had a good session. I was well hydrated, had a good pre-workout meal and post-workout meal. I went to work and for the first 2 hours at work was feeling a bit off, but not so bad.

Then, as I'm riding my bicycle to the next location, I start getting this feeling of 'fullness' in my stomach which then pushes on my lungs (Or so I feel) and I get a shortness of breath. Anxiety starts up, sweating, cold sweat. I get to my next location and I'm considering calling in to re-arrange my schedule so that I could go home (This is the part that makes me mad, that it interferes with work)

I take a benzo. I go into work regardless thinking it will pass. It doesn't. I lie down and my co-worker/friend says "Go home, relax. Or should I call a taxi." I explain that I've been having this problem for years. She says her husband has to, but that the doctors haven't been able to figure out why.

On my way home I feel a bit crappier and crappier. When I get home, I change clothes. The feeling starts to go away OR the benzo is kicking in. If it's the benzo then I'm guessing panic attack. But what if the benzo just masked some of the symptoms of perhaps a REAL heart attack or stroke.

Stupid me, I go online "What does a stroke/heartattack feel like" I get all these Youtube videos. By this time the attack is gone but a part of me feels like 'What if...'

I have an early nights rest and wake up OK. I go for a short day at work (Took a benzo before work) and was fine. Last month I had blood tests done to check for all kinds of problems. None. I have a clogged vein on top of my foot (I banged my foot I guess). Doctors did echos on my legs to rule out DVT and also did more blood tests. No problems. Had my heart checked. No problems. Around June last year I had an MRI and no problems (At the time).

My biggest fear is heart attacks and strokes and I do what I can to get into shape. No smoking, very little drinking, exercise, good food. I'm still overweight (Thank you effexor ) but I'm working on it.

Can someone please tell me they've felt the same way? That they were alright? That it's all in my head (Our heads)?

I'm 32...so my age is something I like to factor in...but then I hear of people dieing (The WNBA player, 37, heartattack) and these things stay with me...I hate it.

JeremiahS

Sounds like me, was panic. Drank diet cokes etc. because of my 'diabetes' and heart symptoms, it was a real pill to swallow that it was 'in my head', as the episodes where very real. I now know of people who spent tens of thousands on tests etc. because they could not accept preliminary diagnosis after EKG's, bloodwork, etc. It was kind of humiliating to me too, but I also recognized after the fact many issues like troubled relationships that where high on the list of triggers and also lifestyle changes where suggested by the doc.

I made some changes and am on zoloft, stopped the benzoes before I got too involved with them, had other methods to address some of the relationship issues (12 step program), and am doing a hell of a lot better.

The first week of meds the by-then-daily major episodes broke down into many mini-episodes then ended, I have not had another full-blown episode since.
I hope to get off the zoloft eventually as I straighten out deeper issues in life, as some people in my recovery program with similar experiences have been able to do, but in the end it is a diagnosed medical issue which began in childhood long before drinking etc. and I am no longer so ashamed of it.

refrigerator

Sounds like anxiety to me. Try googling "relaxation techniques" and read up.

I used to go through panic attacks or bad anxiety every day due to alcohol withdrawal and I actually got pretty good at managing my anxiety with out using my benzos.

There's different ways you can meditate and certain breathing techniques you can use to stop hyperventilation (which was always a precursor to really bad anxiety for me).

gaijin

I actually have a good breathing technique. I use it for relaxation before bed, after the gym etc. Unfortunately, the way my work is setup, I'm actually delivering a speech which I can't stop (Work related, don't want to get into it). These speeches mean I can't stop, sit, relax. I'm in that speech for a good 15 minutes with people watching and listening. I try to maintain my focus but start to slur words. So I start to enunciate every single word until finally it's all over. Once over, I'm sitting down and the feeling then comes and goes depending on the situation.

I went to the hospital today. Have an MRI (Insurance pays) setup for Friday and no work from now until then. Monday I see the neurologist about the MRI. Initial tests (Touching and talking by the doctor) showed I hadn't suffered anything neurologically.

The only good thing that has really happened is I've been introduced to work at a different job which means I can leave the one I'm at. The reason I don't quit is because they pay very well...but this new possible job will pay a little less at far less stress and in conditions I can take care of myself mentally more easily.

Still...I have to think 'why me?'

JeremiahS

Dont sell yourself short yet.