Page 6. Chapter One: Nerve
Page 6. Chapter One: Nerve
I've needed a lot of nerve lately. I told a barmate I had quit drinking about half way through her second "screaming orgasm" which is a tall, fluffy drink that is like a girlie Long Island. She didn't comment.
Today I have to speak intelligently in front of faculty and administration. I think I'm prepared but the last couple of years I have found that I'm better off without a written script. So I've reviewed the points, made a visual presentation and will just talk. Then I'll turn it over to my colleague as quickly as possible. I have to be a cheerleader--we're celebrating the first year of a program we fought hard for. But I'm a lousy cheerleader so I'm kinda sick nervous.
All this has usually added up to drinking Friday night. I have tried to stave that off by having a car appointment right after the meeting. I'll be there for hours. I have papers to read and in case I get bored, a novel (Mrs. Dalloway). If that doesn't work I have my knitting. Then home.
So, Chapter One. I have needed nerve to get this far, my nerves are on edge.
It takes a lot of nerve.
Happy Friday SR. I hope we all have a lovely, sober day (and night).
Today I have to speak intelligently in front of faculty and administration. I think I'm prepared but the last couple of years I have found that I'm better off without a written script. So I've reviewed the points, made a visual presentation and will just talk. Then I'll turn it over to my colleague as quickly as possible. I have to be a cheerleader--we're celebrating the first year of a program we fought hard for. But I'm a lousy cheerleader so I'm kinda sick nervous.
All this has usually added up to drinking Friday night. I have tried to stave that off by having a car appointment right after the meeting. I'll be there for hours. I have papers to read and in case I get bored, a novel (Mrs. Dalloway). If that doesn't work I have my knitting. Then home.
So, Chapter One. I have needed nerve to get this far, my nerves are on edge.
It takes a lot of nerve.
Happy Friday SR. I hope we all have a lovely, sober day (and night).
Missy, I have a sneaking suspicion your going to do just fine ! The sense of accomplishment and self respect you'll feel in the morning WILL be worth every bit of your struggle today.
Go getum Killer,
Ron
Go getum Killer,
Ron
I have hi hopes and the utmost confidence that once you get in there and speaking you will feel great about it....
I do want to say.... Prior to reading your name and context I read this line :
I told a barmate I had quit drinking about half way through her second "screaming orgasm"
And I swear my adolescent male mind thought you were a guy about to tell us that you informed your date right in the middle of her "screaming orgasm" of your sobriety...
...You know... picking a good time to break the ice.... lol
< --- needs help.
I do want to say.... Prior to reading your name and context I read this line :
I told a barmate I had quit drinking about half way through her second "screaming orgasm"
And I swear my adolescent male mind thought you were a guy about to tell us that you informed your date right in the middle of her "screaming orgasm" of your sobriety...
...You know... picking a good time to break the ice.... lol
< --- needs help.
Good luck today, Missy! At least you won't be going into your speech with a hangover and all the extra anxiety that come with it. (A clear head helps too!)
Hang in there tonight - get something to snack on while you're at the car place. Milkshakes really do the trick, too. Remind yourself how good you'll feel getting through this sober and how you want to feel when you wake up Saturday morning.
You can do it!
Hang in there tonight - get something to snack on while you're at the car place. Milkshakes really do the trick, too. Remind yourself how good you'll feel getting through this sober and how you want to feel when you wake up Saturday morning.
You can do it!
You've begun it! And now your nerve--actually courage--will lead you on.
Goethe comes to mind:
“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.”
Goethe comes to mind:
“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.”
Thanks guys. It went fine. We had the students talk and they ROCKED. I was so proud to have led them to this place. I think the bigwigs might let us continue and it's important to me.
So the car didn't take as long as I thought it would, so I bought steaks and will make dinner. I do feel like a celebration though. The weather in the Northwest is gorgeous--which is a huge change. When it's this beautiful here the weathermen keep acting like it's their great achievement. Our weather is often grim, but when it's beautiful, it all feels worth it. And today is a Tiffany box of beautiful. Even in traffic. So, again, I feel like a party. I have a couple of ideas that I'm going to try--unless I just decide I'm tired and want to sleep--which I will do.
Anyhow, lots of posts to catch up on. Thank you Frances for the very appropriate Goethe!
So the car didn't take as long as I thought it would, so I bought steaks and will make dinner. I do feel like a celebration though. The weather in the Northwest is gorgeous--which is a huge change. When it's this beautiful here the weathermen keep acting like it's their great achievement. Our weather is often grim, but when it's beautiful, it all feels worth it. And today is a Tiffany box of beautiful. Even in traffic. So, again, I feel like a party. I have a couple of ideas that I'm going to try--unless I just decide I'm tired and want to sleep--which I will do.
Anyhow, lots of posts to catch up on. Thank you Frances for the very appropriate Goethe!
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