1undone

Hi guys,

(Day 6 here) My husband has to travel for his job but hasn't lately so we have been able to deal with my substance abuse issues together. At the end of this month (coming soon) he will start traveling here and there again. This means I am totally responsible for our 12yr old who has minor special needs and myself the alcoholic.

How do I go to meetings with all of this going on? I really don't feel that worried at the moment and I can't see myself screwing up but that may be because he's here right now and I don't have to worry about it? I don't know. I just don't feel like drinking is an option for me anymore and I'm so confused about what it's going to look like when he's gone and worried about me but I'm not using. I feel horrible that he's worried after all I'm an adult and the mother of our child. For him to be worried about my being able to care for our child kills me!

EmeraldRose

I can see his concerns. When I drank my ex worked out of town for the week and was home on weekends. For 6 weeks. I took this opportuntity to go on a week long binge and be sober on the weekends. He worried something terrible and the kids were always taking my car keys.
It depends on where you are in your head right now...if you don't think you'll drink, tell him so. Have him call you every night. I know you probably feel safe right now and are afraid of the nagging lonliness when he'll be gone.
Do something special with your child on a daily basis. Go out for ice cream, movie, a drive...I would take it one day at a time...keep posting here helps!

1undone

I agree one thing I will most definitely do is talk to him every evening and hopefully do facetime via IPhone but I don't want him getting sick over this -guess I can't control how he feels but I can tell he's already stressin and has even expressed it. Just knowing this now and having the true feelings out in the open makes me not want drink and I feel awful. I've never felt so stupid in my whole life. Darn it!

Kjell

Hi 1undone-

I've often heard that anything we put before our sobriety we risk losing.

I'd make the arrangements now, before he leaves, to make those meetings while he is gone. My brother is a special needs 15 year old and I watch him often. I know it's not the same thing as being the parent, but my brother needs me sober. I am of no good to him if I'm drinking, in fact, I'm dangerous.

Also, have some of your new sober friends come by and keep busy with them. That's what the fellowship is there for - don't be afraid to use it .

...and check in here often.

Kjell~

1undone

I'm going to address this at the meeting tomorrow night. It will give me enough time to figure out what I'm going to do. I may have to bring him. He'll have to play his PSP or something; I can't go without meetings. I haven't gotten to know anyone enough to have them come over and my son would rather just come with me.

I wonder what he would think if he went, he would have to overhear something.... I'll figure it out.

bellakeller

sorry. not on topic, so I deleted what I wrote.

Anna

It's understandable that your husband is worried, but I know it must make you feel bad. You have good ideas of checking in every night, using iChat, and hopefully your husband can talk to your son as well, to make sure everything is going alright. It will take some time for you to earn trust, but hang in there.

Kjell

My brother is really funny in regards to my alcoholism.

In the early days of my sobriety, he'd check what I was drinking (like soda or water) to see if it was beer.

He'd even tell me "no more drinking beer".

Now 18'ish months sober, he tells me "God made me a brother - thank God"

Life gets better with sobriety, especially my relationships with others.

Kjell~