Surprising Thoughts Leading up to 4 Months
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,474
Surprising Thoughts Leading up to 4 Months
This last week has been a rollercoaster ride of thoughts surrounding drinking again that it has really sent me into a bit of a spin out.
On Monday I was working for my brother, and thought what better way to say thanks, than take him out for a drink to his local...where we are both known and "loved". And it really took me a while to realise that I was actually having a serious thought about drinking again, like it was THE most nautral thing in the world to do. As if it really wouldn't be a problem.
I honestly had to talk myself out of it, from thinking well I can just have a couple, to I can just have one....or maybe I could go and just have a mineral water....to finally....HECK NO this really is not a great idea.
I talked it over with my addiction counsellor, and what I realised(with her help) was that I had told myself and them that I would give up for 4 months and then see how I was going. And without realising it, my booze brain has quietly been waiting for this 4 month mark to arrive. Its 4 months tomorrow, and the thoughts are still there..I am thinking about having a drink, and its Saturday night and my son is not at home and he wont be tomorrow either.
I am writing this hopefully to serve as a warning, that our booze brains are sneeky, and insidious. They work quietly behind the scenes on a subconscious level and jump out to ambush us when we least expect it.
I do not want to drink, my plan is to not drink, I am keeping busy, I am here posting(which I haven't done in a while), and hope to be dstracting soon with a call to a friend.
I will be setting a new goal, and this time the goal is to not drink again......not ever! So take that subconscious and sneeky booze brain.......I am not giving you permission to get one over on me!
On Monday I was working for my brother, and thought what better way to say thanks, than take him out for a drink to his local...where we are both known and "loved". And it really took me a while to realise that I was actually having a serious thought about drinking again, like it was THE most nautral thing in the world to do. As if it really wouldn't be a problem.
I honestly had to talk myself out of it, from thinking well I can just have a couple, to I can just have one....or maybe I could go and just have a mineral water....to finally....HECK NO this really is not a great idea.
I talked it over with my addiction counsellor, and what I realised(with her help) was that I had told myself and them that I would give up for 4 months and then see how I was going. And without realising it, my booze brain has quietly been waiting for this 4 month mark to arrive. Its 4 months tomorrow, and the thoughts are still there..I am thinking about having a drink, and its Saturday night and my son is not at home and he wont be tomorrow either.
I am writing this hopefully to serve as a warning, that our booze brains are sneeky, and insidious. They work quietly behind the scenes on a subconscious level and jump out to ambush us when we least expect it.
I do not want to drink, my plan is to not drink, I am keeping busy, I am here posting(which I haven't done in a while), and hope to be dstracting soon with a call to a friend.
I will be setting a new goal, and this time the goal is to not drink again......not ever! So take that subconscious and sneeky booze brain.......I am not giving you permission to get one over on me!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Alcoholism really is relentless....and very insidious....
Thoughts can come from nowhere so I think it's important we realise we don't have to act on them...but we do have to act to stay safe
so I'm glad you recognised the thought for what it was Manz...and then took steps to combat it by talking it over with your counsellor.
I reckon you're on the right track
D
Thoughts can come from nowhere so I think it's important we realise we don't have to act on them...but we do have to act to stay safe
so I'm glad you recognised the thought for what it was Manz...and then took steps to combat it by talking it over with your counsellor.
I reckon you're on the right track
D
Abnormally normal
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Los Angeles, Ca.
Posts: 306
I'm glad you didn't give in to your sneeky booze brain. Good for you in staying strong.
He's been trying to sneek back into my world for a while now. Trying real hard too, but I refuse to listen.
I hope you have a great rest of the weekend and keep up the good work! Miss our chats..
He's been trying to sneek back into my world for a while now. Trying real hard too, but I refuse to listen.
I hope you have a great rest of the weekend and keep up the good work! Miss our chats..
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Congratulations on your (almost) 4 months and for thinking it through! 
I still have those times, too, when that alcoholic voice catches me off-guard. I try to just accept it for what it is: an old way of thinking. I've probably got thousands of little insane thoughts still stored in my head and they're going to pop up from time to time.
You're doing great by posting and reading here and planning other things for your day. Put one foot in front of the other and soon you'll have another sober 24 hours under your belt!
I still have those times, too, when that alcoholic voice catches me off-guard. I try to just accept it for what it is: an old way of thinking. I've probably got thousands of little insane thoughts still stored in my head and they're going to pop up from time to time.
You're doing great by posting and reading here and planning other things for your day. Put one foot in front of the other and soon you'll have another sober 24 hours under your belt!
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