thailand

On the advice of "Codependent No More" and so many of you on these forums I attended a Naranon meeting the other night. It was sad, yet wonderful, to encounter a room full of people that understood something that no other people in my life do. But, at the same time I felt out of place. I have been no-contact with my exAH for almost 2 1/2 years. I wish with all of my heart that it didn't have to be that way, however, it is what it is. I still know that I am very much affected by my past, I am acutely aware that I am codependent, and I know that these meetings can help me in the approach they suggest you lead your life. But everyone else at the meeting has an addict currently in their life. Is it wrong for me to attend these meeting when I'm not currently living the drama that so many of these people are? I don't want to disrespect anyone and I realize I'm in a different place.

Chino

If an addict is taking up space in your head, they're still in your life.

catlovermi

I think it's pretty common to feel like you just landed on another planet in your first Al-Anon meeting. A sort of culture shock, and also a feeling of trepidation lest we be found out to be phonies. I think we all feel like phonies, until WE start to share honestly, because for so long we've held on to external appearances.

I know it took me quite a few meetings to get past the culture shock, bond with the people, learn the skills of taking what I needed and leaving alone stuff that was not healthy for me.

But overall, there is a tremendous potential to grow and integrate in those meetings. They really can facilitate a person radically changing their life, with better skills and perspectives.

CLMI

thailand

Thank you both! I'm very excited about the potential these meeting have for my own personal growth and recovery. I'm sure that like you said, catlovermi, that my reaction is probably common and normal. And Chino, you're right, the addict is still very much a part of my life even if he isn't physically in it.

Kindeyes

I agree so much with the statements made by the posters above. Personally, I have found that Alanon/Naranon meetings teach me so much about LIFE! I would welcome anyone who has ever loved an alcoholic/addict even if that person was no longer in their life.

I'm quite certain that you'll get out of it what you put in.

gentle hugs
ke

JMFburns

thailand,

Another meeting you may want to check out (if there are any around you) would be CoDA, Codependents Anonymous. I went to a few but then the commute there became an issue so I stuck w/AlAnon and NarAnon.

thailand

Thanks again everyone! I have to say that the people at the meeting were incredibly kind and welcoming, just like all of you here. It was my own insecurities that made me feel out of place, but I can get over that

lightseeker

I'm glad that you have found a Naranon meeting. Even if you are not living with an active addict the rooms of recovery are there for anyone whose life has been affected by another person's addiction.

The wonderful thing about the Anon programs is that we are working on "us". So it really doesn't matter where the qualifier in our life is......

Also, glad that you have found us. There are people here in all different scenarios. What we are all seeking is a way to be healthy....

Babyblue

At one meeting I went to, I was talking afterwards with someone with years of al-anon experience who came up to say hi to me (I'm fairly new to this) and I shared with him why I was there (boyfriend in longterm rehab, etc).

My qualifier is not in my life right now in a physical sense, nor have I spoken to him in months so I expressed the same thing to this person... that I wasn't sure I was in the right place given the length of time others have dealt with the disease or the fact that he wasn't 'in' my life presently.

I was even dismissive of my having as much reason to be there as the others. Almost embarassed that I was there. Since I wasn't living with the A or haven't spoken to him, I should be able to have a better ability emotionally, so why was I there right?

His response was..."After hearing your story, oh yeah, you are definately in the right place". I was sorta taken aback by his response but in a good way. He 'got it'. It was almost as if he knew something I wasn't quite yet aware of in myself based upon his own experience. In other words, a complete stranger understood what I was feeling which was very reassuring.

He didn't make me feel like I had less of a need to be there than anyone else and that was what I needed to hear. That my feelings ARE valid and I have every right to take care of them by being there.

Just keep going for you.

coffeedrinker

I believe the requirement is that someone in your circle (friends, family) has or has had a problem with drugs or alcohol.

Relax. You're right where you belong.

thaiana

Hi all,

I was wondering if anyone has any info on a Naranon group in Bangkok. I've tried looking on the internet, but have only found NA or Al-anon. This was the only result on Naranon in Thailand.

Would really appreciate it if someone could point me in the right direction!

Ann

Although I could not find a nar-anon meeting in Thailand, I found a Narcotics Anonymous meeting list. If you call a meeting near you, perhaps they will know where Nar-anon meets in your area.

Narcotics Anonymous Thailand

laurie6781

Or, many when there is no Naranon meetings in one's area or not at times that one can attend they go to Alanon and are warmly welcomed as it is the same program and they too have the same problems of living with and/or loving an A.

Love and hugs,