farmer

I feel good about step one and two and thinking about step three. Am I really turning my life over to my higher power, God?

I want to, I mean to and I am trying. I am trying to separate my will from His.

I am in early recovery, 40 days and had a confusing day. Was I doing my will or His?

I went to two meetings and read and prayed. I did my chores, one was a boring two hour conference call. My mind was on step three more than the call.

I had a dream of trying to sip beer last night. I was foggy and lethargic today but didn't drink.

What signs do you see in yourself that you are working step three successfully and ready for step four? My sponsor wants me to work step four but I am going over three before I start.

http://www.google.com/search?sourcei...k+step+3+in+aa

Thanks for any responses.

Music

I believe my HP wants me to be sober. That's #1. Every day I'm sober is a good indication that I'm doing His will. Doing God's will doesn't necessarily mean I'm going to be free of life's little hiccups. I believe though that in spite of those little hiccups, I won't drink, and I'll find things to be grateful for instead of focusing on things to be upset about. In time, I gain serenity and peace of mind. I gain faith and trust in God and the AA program to not let me down in times of crisis. When I'm doing God's will, things seem to go more smoothly without all those speedbumps. I'm taking things easy and allowing God to help me to work things out instead of running around reacting. Step 3 says that I turn my will and my life over to the "care" of God, not that I give up my will and my life. I try to align my will and life with what I think God would want me to do. This means that I have to stop and listen from time to time to what God says. So, I pray and ask for help, then I stop and meditate so I can hear His answer. Keep up the good work and you'll know when to start step 4. Talk to your sponsor and be honest about how you feel and things will work out.

Draciack

Hi farmer -

Step three was pretty straightforward for me - making a decision. It was all (and continues to be) about willingness, which doesn't mean I get it completely right or am embodying the holy spirit or anything, but I just make a decision and start on step four. Doing that fearless moral inventory was a stringent test of my willingness.

I'd also add that I very rarely know what God's will is - and if I think I do it's really my will masquerading as God's. Not cool. Working the steps, consistent inventory and conscious contact get me the closest to spiritually fit though.

keithj

In my experience, there is no working of Step 3. There is taking it or there is not. No in-between. Read pages 60-63 and ask yourself if you are convinced that your way of living without God (self-will) is working out for you? Can you make the decision to take direction and seek a God of your understanding? If so, get on your knees (with a sponsor maybe), say the 3rd Step prayer, and start writing inventory.

It doesn't have to be any more complicated than that.

Mark75

Sounds like you are there... You have the willingness... What music said, it is not so much trying to separate your will from God's... I mean, that is kinda what got me in a whole lot of trouble, you know... Align your will with His...

FrothyJay

I think Step 3 is the most over-thought step. It's a decision to go ahead with the rest of the steps. "Made a decision to."

The first three steps were never intended to be "worked." They are conclusions of the mind. Powerlessness and unmanageability in Step 1, Willingness in Step 2, A Decision in Step 3.

My problem the first time I did the steps was that I thought I needed to be completely convinced that I had completely turned every fiber of my being over to the care of God before I could move on to Step 4. Then it was pointed out to me that the rest of the steps actually bring me to that conclusion. All I had to do was decide. Nothing deeper.

newby1961

I agree w/all the others who posted remarks. I have and also have seen many people in AA complicate the heck outta this step. Now I don't know why they did it but why I did it was because deep down I had fear of the 4th step. As long as I continued to stay confused I didn't have to start writing a fearless inventory.

All step 3 is IMHO is making a decision,as soon as I have done that well poof its time to move on.

For many years I relapsed and it was because I did the step one,two & three dance

Please don't get stuck continue the steps

Taking5

No. You are making a decision to do this. Actually turning you will and your life over to your HP is a process, not a singular even, and involves daily prayer and/or meditation and working the rest of the steps.

This is how my sponsor explained it to me, and it helped me a lot.

We are alcoholics, we can complicate anything (and usually do).

DayTrader

nice.....

Music

One unique thing about step 3 is the fact that the Big Book suggests taking this step "with" someone else present. This is the first step that makes that distinction. I took what I consider to be my most honest 3rd step with my sponsor, holding hands in front of the altar in a church saying the 3rd step prayer together on our knees. I can still close my eyes and see the two of us there together with God. The impact is still with me. Don't cheat yourself. This is an important step.

JeremiahS

Aside from formal stepwork or as a result I find step 3 at work everytime Im humbled enough to take action against the grain of fear every day.

FrothyJay

Absolutely agree. It is a decision, but the act of saying the third step prayer with someone is ideal.

farmer

Thanks All. I read about it last night and prayed about it and witnessed to my sponsor so I am done with it. I have worked the steps all my life when I wasn't drinking as it aligns with my faith. No magic cloud answers but God revealing his will to me through you and all creation. Vastly overthought, I agree. Now that I am sober I can just do it. Make mistakes, laugh, and move right on. I am on the right track and you just proved it to me.

Thanks.

Kjell

Hi Farmer-

Step 3 can be confusing, but it's actually very, very simple.

All you gotta do is make a decision. You'll spend the rest of your life trying to live for God's will and you'll get better at it with practice and earned knowledge.

Simple as that.

Nice work

Kjell~

Boleo

1. I can't
2. He can
3. I think I'll let him.

krug

Making a decision....yes...then just going along our own merry sick way is not really doing the 3rd justice. I know, that's me. I look at step 3 as a chronic condition, refreshed everyday with prayer. We are making the decision in perpetuity. (sp)

DayTrader

Just thought I'd add something..... it's already been said but I thought of a different way to put it.

3 is a decision...... a decision to quit running the show, the world, the lives of others around us and our own life. It's a decision to let whatever HP we create to start directing our actions.

....how do we "practice" letting that HP direct our actions..... well, by not choosing our course of action all the darn time. If we're calling the shots and doing what we want, when we want, because we feel it's ok......then WE'RE running the show. That's not what 3 is about.....it's about turning the reigns over. So.......I know when I'm "practicing" step 3 when I'm doing something that benefits someone else.....(especially when I don't "feel like" doing it) or when I'm doing something to benefit me - specifically the things that will make me healthier and better equipped to be one of my HP's representatives here on earth - especially when I don't feel like doing that stuff either.

hehe... for me, step 3 can be a lot about doing things to make myself healthier or to help others - usually things I don't like doing, want to do, or feel like doing.......but I do them anyway because I feel that's what my HP wants me to do. That's putting into practice "me not running the show."

Early in the program........ one of the best ways to work 3 is to start writing 4.....even though you don't want to, feel like it, or understand why "now is the time." to write it.


As for the second part of your question......You're ready for 4 as soon as you decide to let your HP be in charge.

** I made the BIG mistake of thinking I had to "get" or "fully understand" each step before I moved on. That belief had me dragging my heels a lot. Maybe that was ok for me, then, at that time.......but it sure isn't how the program is 'best' worked. Truth is.......you'll learn more and more about ALL of the steps the longer you're in the program. Ask some of the "old farts" when they had everything figured out about ANY of the steps. If they're honest.....I'll be they'll tell you they STILL don't know it all.

Don't think you'll necessarily get some big sign from above that tells you you get it now and it's time to move forward. Remember, doing what YOU think is OK landed you in AA (just like it did for me....haha). Listening to and following direction from a group of sober ppl.......ppl who've worked the program and have found happy recovery a reality.....that's some good thinking.

BP44

When you put pen to paper, your 3rd step decision will become a commitment. As the book states, while our decision was vital, it could have little permanent effect unless followed by vigorous course of action. More happens between pen and paper than mind and mouth.

Dean62

Exactly.

Here are a few quotes from that section of the BB first edition.

This last quote is for me how I can tell if I am doing God's will or not. It was at this point my will became about preferences not demands. An example for me is school. I am about to go back to school after almost 3 decades to learn a new career. I like the idea but I'm not married to it. If it's not God's will and doesn't work out that's ok.

When my will is aligned with God's I find inner peace and serenity, freedom through letting go control, often times joy found in gratitude. When I'm feeling anxiety it is generally because I am trying to control the outcome, demands instead of preferences.

I have no problem telling God my will......as if I have to explain it lol. I even go ahead and do my will at times. The difference now, having worked the steps is that when my will doesn't work I accept and let go. No big deal, it wasn't God's will. Part of God's will for me is no longer holding onto the fear of making mistakes because I am human and I make mistakes if I allow my self to be who I really am.

Ok......I could go on and on but I have probably already made this to complicated.

My will ------->