Auggie

For some crazy reason I thought I could have a couple of drinks on Saturday. After I passed out, I woke up in the middle of the night and finished off the fifth. Then I bought another bottle on Sunday and finished it off too. (I hid that bottle and pretended I was just drinking beer). I can't believe how bad this feels.

I'm trying to not beat myself up but I can't seem to stop crying today. I don't ever want to go through this again.

Bikeguy

I'm so sorry to hear that, this disease is relentless. Learn from your mistake and get back at it, you can do it!

newwings

Today is a new day. Try again.

Anna

Know that you don't have to go through this again.

Eagles Fan

You can't change the past, only learn from it. Today's a great day to be sober.

least

I did the same thing, over and over, and I finally was able to stay sober. You can too.

SASA

you only losse if you stop trying. Hop back onto the wagon and join us.

Reubena

Keep at it hugger... It took me 3 tries... I'd relapse and not come back to SR for a year or 2, so I am so glad that you are posting immediately after relapsing. As much as I used to hate the phrase "one day at a time", it really did work for me. Big hugs.

fragileflower

((((HUGS)))) Hon.

I've been following a similar pattern. I know it feels pretty lonely. But you are not alone. We really need to stop beating ourselves up. Just keep trying. Don't give up.

Sending you love!
fragileflower

aasharon90

Changing people, places, and things that reminded
me of alcohol was one of the first steps I needed
to take in order to stay sober. No more alcohol in
the house. No pretty fluted wine glasses, souviners
cups, Pat O'Brian Hurricane glasses or going to
favorite clubs or listening to bands, or all those so
call friends I made at those clubs and a long list of
phone numbers I guarded with my life.

Family stepped in with an intervention 20 yrs ago
sending me to rehab because I had gone so low
in my life that I didnt want it anymore. Really I
was sick and tired, mentally, physically, emotionally
of it that I just wanted to disappear. Never thinking
what kind of pain I would place on my family. That's
how sick I was.

20 yrs ago, i spent 28 days in rehab picking up the tools
and knowledge of a recovery program that would help me
live a day at a time without drinking. I took those steps and
principles set down before us and incorperated them and
began to live them each day.

Today, 20 yrs. later I am still sober with my same sobriety
birthday, 8-11-90, still living and incorperating those same
steps and principles in my everyday affairs to the best of my
ability.

As a result of that I am happier, freer than I could ever imagine
of course always remaining vigilant of how cunning, baffling,
and powerful alcohol is to me. It's always lurking around the
corner just waiting to catch me off guard.

Today I wear a suit of armour made of recovery threads
sewn tightly together for protection.

Mcribb

I am sorry that this happened. I hope you take this try very serious and really write out what it takes to stay sober and take action on those needs.

iliveforyou

***hugs*** Don't beat yourself up - today is a brand new day! Learn from your mistakes and keep moving forward I've fallen so many times, I've lost count - what matters is that you don't ever give up.

-Jess

Dee74

I'm sorry to hear of your troubles Hugger.

Think of what you need to add to what you've been doing - like Bikeguy said our addiction is relentless - never underestimate it.

Welcome back
D

OklaBH

Complacency is a killer for me I've realized. I have to find new things/people in my recovery or I will make the dreaded U-turn. I'm glad you're posting!

Fandy

like everyone said, you cannot change what happened...and i understand that you feel craptastic for your actions.

but you can learn from it and remember how terrible it feels. and hopefully avoid this in the future. how long were you sober? and how many times has it happened? what's the trigger for you?

these are all the things that we need to see and hopefully change.

Hevyn

Hi Huggs - so sorry you're suffering this way, but maybe it's what was needed as further proof that you can't pick up again. I did the same thing over a period of many years, always with the same miserable result. Maybe this is where it ends, once and for all - for you. We know you can do this.

kdr143

you don't ever have to drink again EVER
just don't drink today
get a sponsor it has saved my life

Auggie

I want to thank each and everyone of you for your support and words of encouragement. The thing is, there really wasn't a trigger. I just figured that once I had a handle on my addiction I would be able to drink like a normal person again. My intention was to quit drinking until I felt like I could control it. HA! I'm feeling much better now and realize for the first time that I really can not drink again...ever. But that doesn't sound the least bit scary now. A couple of months ago this was a concept I couldn't wrap my mind around at all. Having spent the past 11 weeks sober, my life is looking pretty good sober. So now the stronger, better educated me is moving forward with a new set of goals in the process. It's actually kind of a relief to know the truth.

EmeraldRose

I'm sorry this happened.
There were many many times that I said I was quitting -would for some time and went back to it. Why? Because I could. I wasn't that serious about it. Now I am. I just can't believe it took me so so many years to really get to that point. I had many miserable years of 'on again off again' drinking. It gets so monotonous.
Hopefully, this relapse will get you on the right path and keep you there.
Every day is the first day of your life.

aasharon90

Riding our Harley Road King sober is great...!!!!
It's a freeing experience and nothing beats it.