eaglette

Long story short, my BF went to rehab for suboxone at the beginning of this month. He has been out for 2 or 3 weeks. I quit smoking pot at the same time, originally to support him, but then I decided that I had my own reasons and wanted to do it for myself. Both of us were on day 24, but yesterday he smoked (weed) again. I have never been anti-pot, and I still maintain that it is from the earth, and I do believe it has its purposes. In this case, he is using it to dissuade himself from following the addict in him, which is demanding that he go to the city, sell everything, and get doped up. It is such a grey area for me. I do personally think that using marijuana for this purpose is much better than many of the prescriptions a doctor would give to him. However, it is tough to have him smoking while I am trying to maintain my resolve to stop. I am also frustrated because we had a huge fight that morning, and he sometimes thinks that I only see him as "an addict" instead of the amazing man that he is. He did not even intend on quitting marijuana when he went into rehab, so this is not against what he intended. I do not want to seem judgmental or motherly about it. He is an adult and needs to make his own decisions. I just need to make sure I live my life the way I want it to be too.

Nina Kay

I'm sorry if it is blunt, but I totally agree with cynical one on this. For my addict son, It was a springboard to his other addictions & it alters his mind in ways that are very obvious & ugly. It is a terrible drug & I hate it as much as the other drugs. I've had to experience alot of hurtful things because of it. Of course, he says the same thing, "it's naturally grown, so it really shouldn't be considered a drug." That only makes sense to the drug user but never to other family, friends & even strangers that come in contact with a marijuana user. The drug user's mind is altered so that they can't see clearly what they are doing or how they are acting or how they are affecting others' lives, but we are on the outside here with clear minds & eyes, taking the full blown brunt of it all. I'm sorry, no disrespect intended, but I would want to get as far away from marijuana as I would any other mind-altering drug, if I were you.

Taking5

So is hemlock. The argument that something is natural so it can't be bad is so lame.

Chino

He's getting high to keep from getting high, and he stopped subs so he wouldn't be dependent on anything.

He's not ready for sobriety but congrats to you for maintaining yours

bluebelle

The opiates, including heroin, are also from the earth. I had smoked some pot before my RABF got sober, but I stopped it when I realized the damage that it was causing to myself. My mom has been a pot addict for over 40 years. I believe that it is an addiction. For my RABF, he would smoke it many times every day. For me, I "just" did it at social occasions. However, I found that I would get depressed the next day. It creates an artificial high, which I believe is unhealthy. I think it is much better to feel good through exercise, healthy eating, meditation, etc. It is also illegal, which causes all kinds of problems. In my mom's case, she has been arrested several times for selling it. Plus, the drug trade is evil and I think about the people who have been killed, etc., in the supplying of it.

keepinon

My daughter left her first rehab wanting to smoke pot and drink, but stay off the "hard stuff"..didn't work..your brain doesn't know what drug you are taking..it knows a high.Sobriety means no mind altering substances.Addicts/alcoholics WANT to be able to moderate, they are not ABLE to...they become cross addicted or relapse to their DOC.

Babyblue

As others point out, many street drugs ARE from natural sources. Only they are grown in places like South America (coca plant) or Afghanistan (opium poppy). We just don't see the plants in people's yards here. Not all things 'natural' are benign.

Present day pot strains have way more THC (that stuff that makes you high) than the original plant species. It has already been tampered with to make it more potent then nature intended so that argument really doesn't hold true. The kind dispensed medicinally is grown in a controlled environment, not in Bubba's yard.

I tried pot (in my tryin' stuff days) and it gave me panic attacks and hallucinations. Even with pot there are huge variations on how it affects people.

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eaglette

Thank you all. It was a major blow to my personal resolve when my BF smoked the other night. For some reason it helped a lot to have him on the same day as I was. However, I am still determined to keep on with this. I am not sure how to begin to approach him on this matter. He is in such a different spot than I am because of the different obstacles he has faced. I am only dealing with the mental aspect of this. I am making the effort to focus on myself and my commitment to sobriety, so I am not sure how to factor this into all of it.

keepinon

It's really not your place to manage his "sobriety" (he is not sober)..he is going to do whatever it is he is going to do..you have to decide what your boundaries are..total sobriety in an addicted partner, using pot, not heroin, or being ok with full blown addiction..that is all any of us can control..

eaglette

I don't want to manage his sobriety or lack thereof; I just want to talk to him and see where he stands. I think it would help if I decided before having this conversation what my boundaries are.

keepinon

For sure!

outtolunch

His actions tell you exactly where he stands. The words just rationalize it.