aasharon90

Hi, Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic and no
Im not dead but very much alive and happy.

I was reflecting back on my 25 yr marriage
that ended sometime ago and how miserable
I was in that marriage and desperately wanted
to live and have fun. Just because I was in
recovery I suppose my husband and kids figured
I was boring, dull, lifeless and yet I was far from
it.

I know I drank for a number of reasons, mainly
to numb emotional pains inside from the past and
to have fun. I wanted to be the life of the party and
all it did was make me regret, feel ashame, lie, cheat
and all the wrong things that go along with it.

When I got sober I eventually became honest in
my ways but still wanted to have fun. However my
little family was into work, school and all the things
that I wasnt really interested in sad to say.

Anyway, I did follow along with the family to the
best of my ability till my kids eventually went off
to college. At that time I really thought my husband
and I would come together to strengthen our marriage
and remember why we got married in the first place.

It never happened as much as I wanted it to. We simple
existed and doing our own seperate things and talk about
boring. See my husband was into family stuff....his
parent, relatives and I wasnt. I came from a family where
we all went our seperate ways with little communication
for many yrs. and we r still like that due to dysfunction.

I avoided sitting around with his family talking about
old times and geneology. Boring. His family were more
brain smarts and mine were more physical hard working
folks. Me, id rather jog than talk about politics, education,
news stuff anytime.

I did remain sober till the end of our 25 yr marriage when
the divorce was final. I went on to remarry and was blessed
with a new husband also in recovery and we love riding together
on our Harley taking trips to Rallys, getting tattoos, sitting
outside together watching the birds on our feeders, going
shopping, watching tv, enjoying the same interest in almost
everything. The way a married couple should be.

That's what Ive wanted all my life, to have someone to love
and him to love me and be happy in love and all that comes with
it. We r having so much fun in our sober life that I would love
to shout from the roof top just to let my past family know who
and what I am today. Not Dead But Truely Alive.