Step Two with touching support from kids
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 1,118
Step Two with touching support from kids
I don't know what Step Two is going to be!
I have less than one week to figure out what comes next after my six weeks here in my codie cottage rehab. Time flies!
What has touched me deeply is the reaction of my kids--I have 4 grown kids, ages 25-32. We have always been a close family, and they love both of their parents deeply, which is a huge blessing, but I've always felt it was also a pressure on me to maintain the status quo.
But yesterday, one of my sons came to see me here at my little cottage, and we were talking about the fact that I only have a couple of days left. He, like his other brothers/sister, asked me what was next. I told him, I had no idea. I feel "like a Rolling Stone" in the words of Bob Dylan. I'm taking it a day at a time, and asked him what he thought.
His response touched me because he expressed what my other kids have hinted at: that they feel my life here is so me--that it's a refuge from the craziness of the drinking. That they understand why I'm so happy here... and then, my son started crying, saying, "and if you're not happy...." and he turned away at that and apologized for crying.
I felt that that one moment was "permission" to do whatever I feel my HP is directing me to do.
Now I just have to figure that out.
And yes, I AM happy. I love this little place, but I can't extend the stay because the house is rented after I move out. So my choice is to find another place either here in this town that I really love or somewhere else-- or go back home with the strength I've built up. But that will take strength because AH is still very much active A, even though he's trying to mask that. This week I got a really scary text and it made me grateful I'm an hour away.
I feel my kids have been "encouraging" me to continue on the path I'm on--a life apart from AH. It's so great to feel such strong support from those you love most.
Even the Al-Anon group I've adopted have expressed regret that I'm leaving. I plan to simply be still and really follow what my gut tells me. I'm going to be sad to have to leave this place, but I'll do whatever what Step Two winds up being.
I have less than one week to figure out what comes next after my six weeks here in my codie cottage rehab. Time flies!
What has touched me deeply is the reaction of my kids--I have 4 grown kids, ages 25-32. We have always been a close family, and they love both of their parents deeply, which is a huge blessing, but I've always felt it was also a pressure on me to maintain the status quo.
But yesterday, one of my sons came to see me here at my little cottage, and we were talking about the fact that I only have a couple of days left. He, like his other brothers/sister, asked me what was next. I told him, I had no idea. I feel "like a Rolling Stone" in the words of Bob Dylan. I'm taking it a day at a time, and asked him what he thought.
His response touched me because he expressed what my other kids have hinted at: that they feel my life here is so me--that it's a refuge from the craziness of the drinking. That they understand why I'm so happy here... and then, my son started crying, saying, "and if you're not happy...." and he turned away at that and apologized for crying.
I felt that that one moment was "permission" to do whatever I feel my HP is directing me to do.
Now I just have to figure that out.
And yes, I AM happy. I love this little place, but I can't extend the stay because the house is rented after I move out. So my choice is to find another place either here in this town that I really love or somewhere else-- or go back home with the strength I've built up. But that will take strength because AH is still very much active A, even though he's trying to mask that. This week I got a really scary text and it made me grateful I'm an hour away.
I feel my kids have been "encouraging" me to continue on the path I'm on--a life apart from AH. It's so great to feel such strong support from those you love most.
Even the Al-Anon group I've adopted have expressed regret that I'm leaving. I plan to simply be still and really follow what my gut tells me. I'm going to be sad to have to leave this place, but I'll do whatever what Step Two winds up being.
Thanks for sharing
Today is a New Day
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,766
Thank you so much for sharing, SoloMio. I am glad that your children are supporting you in your quest for serenity and happiness.
It's hard to take the necessary steps to get there, and support from the people closest to you helps make it easier.
You are very lucky!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 3,095
It's really wonderful that your children are showing support that you do what you need. You did many things right to raise such compassionate, healthy children who are able to love both their parents but see that perhaps being apart is what is needed for your happiness.
It sounds like your temporary home (the town and cottage itself) have been wonderful -- is it possible to find a short term place to stay for another few weeks so that you don't have to feel that you must make a decision within a week (or maybe that is just prolonging the inevitable of having to make a decision).
What does your gut tell you? You do sound very happy and peaceful where you are.
I've recently reconnected with a cousin I haven't been in touch with in 20 yrs and she lives at the beach and has already extended an open invite for my girls and I to be there all summer if we want. I am counting the days!
It sounds like your temporary home (the town and cottage itself) have been wonderful -- is it possible to find a short term place to stay for another few weeks so that you don't have to feel that you must make a decision within a week (or maybe that is just prolonging the inevitable of having to make a decision).
What does your gut tell you? You do sound very happy and peaceful where you are.
I've recently reconnected with a cousin I haven't been in touch with in 20 yrs and she lives at the beach and has already extended an open invite for my girls and I to be there all summer if we want. I am counting the days!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
