wasyas

I spoke with an attorney about divorcing my AH today and all of the divorce is fairly straight forward, except him having visitation rights to see our daughter. My attorney said that she would make sure he only had supervised visitation, and she was 100% sure she could get it for 2 years. BUT if he kept his job and did everything as far as the court could see by the book after the 2 years the court could drop the supervision. Now my problem with this is that he is an addict which is another word for really really good lier. What if he somehow fakes it through 2 years of supervised visitation still using but not getting caught and gets unsupervised visitation? I am not ok with this even being a very very small possibility. Has anyone else every had a similar situation? This is the second attorney I have spoken with and both are very good, and they said that this could be a possibility, but isn't an issue because addicts cause chaos and eventually it catches up with them. My AH hid it from me for 2 years, 1 year of that we were married, I know it will be easier to hide from the court and fake recovery. Is there something I am missing here or what? After speaking with the attorney I almost want to stay married, just because state law says whichever parent has the child has custody and as long as we are married I don't have to give him visitation or anything.

laurie6781

You can ask your attorney to add to the supervised visitation, random drug testing, plus testing at time of visitation. That way there will be a record of what he is doing or not doing and his words won't mean a thing.

Also, document, document, document. Save all emails, voice mails, text messages, etc they will show his 'true self' rather than what he presents to the court.

I do believe, that way you will be pretty well covered and be able to continue the supervised after 2 years.

Better for now to stay in 'today' and keep your little one safe. Sad to say but worrying about 2 years from now when he might not even be around is wasted energy. Addicts move, addicts disappear, and ....................... the 'supervised visits' will become a chore for him and many times they become 'too much effort' for an A to expend.

Please keep posting and let us know how you and the little one are doing as we do care very much.

Love and hugs,

fourmaggie

random drug testing works very well...nothing to hide there!

hello-kitty

Stay in the present. Make wise choices regarding your life NOW and you can pretty much expect that no matter what happens two years from now, you'll be well prepared for it.