ACT10Npack

It's almost a month now since I have drank anything. The last time I drank and went on a binge streak things were different. When I was drinking to get drunk because I was bored, I wanted to do anything else. Which was something that does not happen when I go on a binge. After I sober up, I didn't take everything by the moment and I took my time. It's good because I think first and I take my time with everything. I do t think about drink like I did before. I don't get upset that I should not be drinking because I don't want to drink. Will I give up alcohol forever? That's still up in the air but now I don't have the desire to drink.

My problem now is that my parents are on my case with asking me 5 times or more a week if I'm drinking or don't drink. I tell them that I'm not drinking or if they get me upset, I will just hang up the phone to avoid them. 75% of time when I think about alcohol is when they ask me. What should I do about this.

CarolD

Be proud to say..."No I'm not"
They are doing what parents are supose to do
looking out for your well being...

Be glad they love you enough to check and care.

Dee74

People asked me for a long time after too...be happy you have people who care about you, ACT10n.

Keep working on yourself and your sobriety and it should become clear to everyone eventually that you've changed

D

Stevie1

Ditto Carol and Dee - the flip side is parents who don't care at all and will never ask or even mention it because they feel guilty or defensive or don't want to acknowledge family integrity might be compromised...trust me that hurts!

What happens if you ask them politely to stop asking you so much? Tell them what you said here: it just makes you think about it - and maybe they can limit it to once a week or something.

Otherwise, just say the single word "no" and then have some other topic on hand to move the conversation along with. Eventually they'll get bored with asking, if you don't make it interesting.

Congrats on your 30 days!

Impurrfect

When I quit smoking crack, my dad would often ask me "do you still crave it?" I told him "actually, I don't really think about it until you bring it up", which was true. When I DID think about it, I thought of all the damage it had done. It only took a few times of my answering that way, that he stopped asking.

I was actually living at home, and he saw how I was doing (going back to work, then straight home), but he doesn't understand addiction...what goes on in our mind. I just accepted it as a consequence of my using, and the more he saw me improving, he quit asking.

It's a pain, but I had put him through he!!, and I knew he was scared, concerned, and was trying to figure out this "addiction thing".

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

ReadyAndAble

A sober month is terrific, ACT10NPack, congrats on that!

As a parent who loves my kid more than anything, I can say that if I were your parents, it would take a lot longer than a month for me to stop worrying. They ask because they love you.

EmeraldRose

Maybe they don't know what else to say? Maybe they want to talk to you about it but the words escape them? I don't know your parents.
My parents didn't know I had a drinking problem for the past 30 years. I just told them in January. The next day I got a bouquet of flowers sent from them.
We have chatted about it -I tell them about rehab, about AA about cravings, etc. Maybe talking to your parents -would make them not feel a need to ask such questions. Maybe they feel left out of your problems. They are your parents and love you.
In rehab we are discussing feelings...I would say that if this is something that makes you angry or frustrated it might be a relief on your heart if you bring it up and discuss it with them.
And congratualtions on not drinking!

reggiewayne

Welcome. I understand how this might be frustrating. My guess is there is probably a very good reason why they are concerned. Maybe you have told them you were going to quit in the past and then did not.

The best way we can get people "off our backs" is to show them instead of telling them. After days, weeks, months, and years of recovery they will SEE the differences instead of HEARING about the differences. Make sense?

30 days is Awesome btw. But in the scope of our drinking careers really isn't that long. The longer you can live out loud in recovery the less you'll get asked if you're drinking.

Just my two cents. Keep up the good work!

laurie6781

Oh yeah, and it was frustrating. It took them 3 years before they stopped asking. I had started to understand that my not drinking was just a drop in a bucket for all the years I had drank and thus it took them quite a bit of time to actually start trusting that I was not drinking, that I had taken AA to heart and that my life was getting better.;

J M H O

Love and hugs,

stugotz

Its been over three years and I still get asked by my family. I lied for so long that I guess its hard for them to totally trust yet, but they are coming around.

OklaBH

You are a lucky duck that they care. My fam just flat out doesn't want me around. In time they will see it and not ask. They will be so proud though!

silly

I agree with most people here. They are probably asking because they care. However, if it's really bothering you, you might consider talking to them about it. Next time they ask, tell them you appreciate their concern but that the question puts up barriers you'd rather not have between you guys. Or start out each conversation by saying "Hi, how are you? No, I have not had a drink. What's new today?" Maybe even suggest a "better" question to ask. Or, if they insist they have to ask, request that they limit the number of times they ask it.
That being said, I definitely understand where you're coming from. It would drive me crazy if I got the question all the time. I know I would quickly become angry.

Kjell

My friend, your intentions and feelings on your 1 month of sobriety hold little weight in your parents eyes.

I don't know your story, but they've probably put up with a lot and worried even more.

It's gonna take some time and some positive, consistent action on your part to change how other people see and think of you.

You can start by taking responsability for your past actions and the harm and worry you've caused in others. Then keep working on yourself and your recovery and everything else will work out.

Keep up the good work.

Kjell~

LaFemme

My parents still offer me wine when I visit. Be grateful they care and are supportive. When I had 1 month it seemed like a lifetime but in reality its not that long and it will take your parents some time to adjust.

Congrats on your month!

aasharon90

First it was, are you still drinking? Then it was
are you still sober? Today I have my own program
for me and only me and don't need to answer to any-
one but me and the Man upstairs.

I wanted my recovery more than anything mainly
for me. I wanted off the rollercoaster rides, merry-
go-rounds, lying, cheating, discomfort and every-
thing else that goes with addiction.

Today some 20 yrs later, I so enjoy my Freedom,
my honesty, my trust, open-mindedness and
willingness to do what is needed to stay sober on
a daily bases.

No one can do this for me but me. If others dont
understand then that is not my problem, so dont
give it to me because Im not gonna take it.

All saying in a round about way.

billsaintjames

I feel for you brother. They are going to ask no matter what, and there is no telling when it is going to stop. Accept it as a fact, focus your attention back to your personal goals, and breath the sweet air of life.