richardt

Hi, I'm writing this because I think I have a problem with alcohol. I drink far too much, it's destroying my body and I hate my behaviour when I drink too much. Plus I find it hard to resist alcohol.

I come from a background which involved a complete family breakdown, as such I don't see anybody anymore and I find having friends to be very tough. I usually drink alone - sometimes with workmates but I've been drinking alone for years now. I used to go out and get drunk with strangers but it felt silly and stupid, so now I stay at home or go to a bar on my own.

I need to know why I get drunk. First of all, it makes me feel better about myself. Whether it's just a few beers or a bottle of vodka, it is almost guaranteed to give me the illusion that things are better than they actually are. Second of all it helps me deal with the loneliness and the boredom of living alone, having no social circle, and no idea of how to build relationships. I don't really even want friends.

It's amazing how much money I've spent on this drug. Why do I do this? I'm not an alcoholic, I know this - I can have a few beers and get bored and go to sleep. Or I can have just one beer. I know alcoholism exists because my sister is an alcoholic, and it totally changed my perspective of what alcoholism is - I refused to think it even existed until then. And I know binge drinking increases the risk of alcoholism, as it does a range of other physical disabilities and conditions, so I know, in the long run, that this behaviour is not worth it.

I'm writing this to try and understand things better about myself. It might sound like I'm a miserable person - I'm not, but there are things that are making me unhappy at the moment. I am working on building a future for myself, so I have not given up, totally the opposite. I want to write this so I can see that I've wrote it, and I know that I am making steps to dealing with this problem.

My heart goes out to people who suffer much greater than me with alcohol, and who have succeeded in staying sober. When I think about everything that's happened sobriety seems far more positive than drunkenness. It's about what I want to do with my life, stay at home drunk? Even for fun? I can do better than this.

ChikkaB

Yes, you can.

So the question at this point really is: what do you want from your life, and are you willing to do whatever to takes to get it?

ste

Most here will tell you that if you think you have a problem, then you probably do. You don't have to be an alcoholic to have a problem with alcohol.
You can do better, if you want to.

doggonecarl

First off, welcome. Is knowing why you get drunk a prerequisite for you to quit? And what if you don't find the answer? Or don't find the answer you like? I discovered a lot about my drinking and why I drank AFTER I quit, in the clarity of being in recovery.

As for your being an alcoholic or not...that's your call. If you want to know for sure, try to quit. If you succeed in quitting, that's an answer. And if you can't quit...that's an answer too!

Good luck.

richardt

Yes, I know, and I am going to do it.

Certainly not

No, not if I don't make any steps to resolve it. I'm a very isolated person and I find building relationships impossible. This is the root of my problem with alcohol, and I'm trying to overcome this somehow.

GodsHolyWill

Hi! You don't sound like a miserable person at all! I admire how you decided to open up and share your story! I hope for the very best for you!!!

Kmber2010

Welcome Rich and glad you are with us.

You are making a great move to improve your life and removing something negative is always a good thing.

No labels necessary and I think having support will really help you!

Keep it going!

Dee74

Hi Richardt

Yeah you can do better than this - and you'll find a lot of support here.
The first step to healing is to put down the drink.

If you've been drinking for a while I recommend you see a Dr - detox can sometimes be a problem for some.

Look forward to seeing you around

D