NobleCause

Like an alcoholic version of The Little Engine That Could, I finally propelled myself over the threshold and got myself into a meeting tonite. It took me weeks, literally, to get past the abject horror I felt about going once I accepted the fact that I probably needed to. Last week alone I made two attempts, the second reaching closer than the first (hand literally on door), before I spooked and slipped back into the shadows. Everything about the idea of being visible and transparent was terrifying.

And to be honest, it was terrifying to walk thru the door sort of bewildered and lost, and it was terrifying to sit down in a huge circle of other people who seemed to have a very clear idea of how things worked. By the time the third or fourth person spoke tho, it was no longer so shockingly scary, it was really just shockingly uncanny how familiar each of the experiences they spoke about were.

It was a humbling, hopeful, and compelling experience. I strongly encourage any others who are wanting to go but haven't on account of fear or shame to just do it. (And then just keep doing it, I suppose.)

Danae

Congrats to you for following through! That takes nerve.

I went to a meeting tonight where I had to sit on the floor, and there was a very odd guy (not drunk, but scary) who was swearing at people. Very glad it wasn't my first meeting or I'd have scrambled right on out of there!

Kmber2010

Glad to see your choice Noble. I too was hesitant to reach out for face to face support but man it helped me tremendously We all the strength and courage in us.....we just have to pull it out sometimes

Way to go!

NobleCause

Thanks to all the fine folks here for your input, encouragement, and gentle(-ish) coaxing over the past few weeks. Without it, I would absolutely not have ventured out to a meeting tonite, and further, would quite likely be drunk and/or ransacking the corners of my home for an elusive bottle at this very moment.

Missybuns

Congratulations! Keep going.

Keep going until you want to go.....then do what you want.

CarolD

AA is an awesome adventure in how to live sober and
enjoy it.....I' have no intention to ever let go of AA...

Good to know you are attending too...

Forward we go...side by side

Veritas1

How courageous! Happy for you!

LexieCat

Aw, see, that's why I keep posting that meeting link. Most people have AA meetings built up into this huge scary thing in their minds, and the reality is just so different!

I love my meetings. Keep comin' back!

Incidentally, AA REALLY isn't about the meetings (though they are awesome and helpful). I hope within a very few days you will ask someone to sponsor you. A sponsor is simply a mentor who has worked the Steps herself and has a sponsor of her own, who can guide you through the work. You can even ask someone to be a "temporary" sponsor--sometimes that works out permanently, but if it doesn't seem to be a good match it is perfectly acceptable to change sponsors.

And, if you haven't done so already, pick up a Big Book and focus on the first 164 pages.

Thanks for sharing your experience! You probably will help someone else get brave enough to go!

Stevie1

Noble, I am very proud of you. I suspect your post will compel someone else to overcome the fear of that first meeting...it's a big first step and a scary one but I'm so glad you made it to the room.

Enoy

Congrats on the courage to get through that door. It is a scary thing at first. Many of us had to be STRONGLY suggested by the courts to go that first time.

It does take some getting used to if you are agnostic or athiest , but it's not really religious once you get to understand the program.

NobleCause

The links you've posted were very helpful in getting me thru the door. I'm not sure where I'm headed with all of this ultimately, but it really did feel like I was in the right place last night, so I'm going to go with that instinct for the immediate future. I hardly said a word there - my focus was simply on listening and not dodging out early, but I'll ask about a sponsor the next time I go. I'm happy and grateful to have a feasible solution in front of me to this thing that I've allowed to wreck everything in my life for years and years, but undeniably am also a little overwhelmed by the amount of change, effort, and commitment it will entail. Day by day, huh...

Eagles Fan

Congrats on taking a huge step that takes a lot of courage. I went to my first meeting less than two weeks ago and I was terrified as well. The group was so welcoming and I've found a temporary sponsor as well. I'm glad we both made the decision to walk through that door. I wish you continued success.

reggiewayne

Congrats Noble. For me, knowing there is a solution allows me to fully accept my problem. I tried for so long to turn my drinking issues into a non factor. All I wanted to be able to do is use my solution for life (alcohol) and not have all of the problems that came with it. I failed everytime. AA is a solution. Not the only solution, but the only one that has worked for me. Congrats to you and keep coming back!

Zebra1275

Congratulations on going to your first meeting, your second one will be even easier. I remember my first meeting, I had to work up the courage to leave the safety of my car and get out and walk in the door.

After going to AA for several months my sponsor told me that I should chair a meeting. I was pretty nervous but decided to do it. I've since done it several times and enjoy it. I've come a long way in expanding my comfort zone in AA, you can too.