oakleaf82

So here I am on day 3 (again). I have had a lot of day threes in the past few months. Can't seem to make it a week anymore which is frustrating. It just feels like a lot of work and I don't have the energy to put into it. I am doing some things differently, namely talking with my husband about it, making a lot of positive changes in my life, etc in hopes I can finally be done with alcohol. I am looking into other programs of recovery to use in addition to SR; hoping to find something that makes sense to me. And like I said, I have seen some positive changes in my life, but I still keep drinking!!?! I haven't had any out and out binges, but the last time I drank I scared myself with my inability to stop or moderate. Then I feel horribly depressed afterward.

Quitting this habit takes constant attention (for me anyway). I feel like once I get some solid time in (maybe 3-6 months?) I will feel a bit better about it--like its not so much work anymore.

Thanks for listening everyone.

Dee74

I dunno about anyone else but it took a lot of work for me to make it work in those first few weeks. Nothing else was as important - it needed to be that way - for me anyway...

I hope some of those plans you have come to a quick fruition oakleaf

D

Zebra1275

Yes, getting sober takes a lot of attention, especially in the early stages. If you are not making it a full week you may need to step up your effort a few notches. Have you tried AA?

Anna

I got stuck on Day 3 a lot, too Oakleaf, because that was usually the day I started to feel much better, mentally and physically. And, you're right, it does take a lot of energy, but for me, it was life-saving. And, it does get easier.

coffeenut

Keep coming back. Never stop looking for what will work for you. You can get sober. You can.

ReadyAndAble

Talking to your husband is great, but maybe add face-to-face support through AA or another program?

It has started to get easier for me with time. I'm really grateful I didn't give up, and made it my No. 1 priority each day. You can and will do it!

Veritas1

My AA friend said to me, "If you have time to go to the store, buy booze, go home and drink...You have time to go to a meeting of AA, and stay sober that day just the same."

It comes down to what type of life do you want. Healthy and sober? Unhappy and drinking?

Are you willing to try something different then you have done before? Are you willing to take some action and go to AA daily instead of drinking? There are people there that can help. Maybe you are bored, and so you end up drinking? Meet some people that are living a sober life. Get something different "happening" in your life.

If nothing changes, nothing changes, and it's hard to stop drinking while drinking.

Take the action to create the life you desire. Only you can make it happen, and it takes some effort.

Do you really want to stop for good, or are you still trying to control and enjoy your drinking...

Do you think you are an alcoholic?

Are you done living an alcoholic lifestyle, sober up, stay sober a little while, drink, repeat?

Another AA person told me, "You want sobriety? Come and get it." It's there...at AA. Check it out.

So many could recover if given the opportunity to be exposed to recovery, AA, ... it's like a window, a moment of clarity in your life where you know that you don't want what you have, so try something different.

We are the lucky ones...the ones that get that moment of clarity, that are capable of being honest with ourselves that we are in trouble...we get the opportunity to be honest, ask for help, change...live. Come on gal...run. Don't waste another day.

Kmber2010

Oak glad you are with us and I can tell you that I committed myself to recovery 100%. Now it is part of my life.....but there was no darn way I could keep the bottle down and stay sober if I didn't make that my priority.

Keep going and work on adding to the support. It does get better but in the beginning....well I found aggressive to be my attitude. Had to be or else I wouldn't be here.

SSIL75

Hi! I just read back your posts and see that in December you weren't really sure you had a problem. I have to say that I couldn't stay sober until I understood 101% that I was an alcoholic and drinking could never again be an option for me.

AVRT (rational recovery tool, you can google) was extremely helpful. Teaches you how to recognize when the alcoholic in you is talking. It helped me to isolate those cravings as just being my alcoholic brain. Not the one in charge anymore!

Best of luck.

oakleaf82

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all of your thoughtful replies! I will try to respond now:

Zebra, to answer your question, no I have not tried AA. To be honest I am not really interested in AA. However, if I continue to struggle I am not opposed to giving it a try in the future.

ReadyandAble, when I mentioned talking to my husband, its more making him realize that I am serious about this so he can be supportive of me. In the past I don't think he took me very seriously. Eventually I will tell others I am close to of my choice. I haven't looked too much into face to face support, but I did research SMART a bit and there is a weekly meeting in my area. Not sure if meetings are for me, but I will never know unless I try--I would be interested in SMART over AA.

Veritas--All good points. I'm not a daily drinker, never was. So drinking did not really "seem" to take up a lot of time, but I suppose it did. Mostly on the weekends during the time I would normally be sleeping on a weekday. The hangovers do sure have a way of ruining any plans for the next day though--time lost I have regretted so many times when I could have been out biking or running--wasting beautiful weather inside and hungover. And I am definitely trying to get something "happening" in my life to replace it---one of my main recovery goals at this moment. Just trying to get involved in some activities so I'm not bored. Keeping busy is key.

SSIL--yes I still have a problem admitting I am an alcoholic. I don't really know if I am. It seems like I am overreacting because everyone I am around is drinking much more than I ever did--and they are still drinking. I noticed it especially around the holidays when I stayed sober for a good three weeks, attending holiday parties and everyone was drinking SO MUCH. I'd rather not get caught up in the terminology of it and compare myself to others (its hard not to sometimes!). I do know that I am sick of drinking and the drinking culture I am surrounded by. I don't want to be a part of it anymore. I will check out the AVRT too, thanks for the tip!

Sorry I was having trouble quoting multiple people in one post, so this got pretty lengthy. Anyway Day 4 now! Thanks

artsoul

Congrats on day 4! Sobriety really does get better and easier over time. It also gets harder the more we drink. I always figured I'd quit "someday" - kept putting it off because at the time it always seemed like a good idea to have one more drink, one more drunk, and it went on that way for years and years.

Finally figured out that I didn't want to follow that path to the end and might as well get the quitting part over with.

Keeping those hangovers in mind still helps me stay sober. Hang in there and hope you find some enjoyable activities to replace the drinking!