Jadmack25

I last saw mum when I visited with her for her 99th birthday, and she was happy, fit and as always full of "Pollyanna" good vibes.
Her dog companion was put to sleep the week after I left, and it seems mum was a changed woman....of course everyone put it down to grief.

She started having shaking attacks and didn't feel up to going out, which I found very worrying, and just sat at home on her own.
My daughter was also worried, and went to spend a few days with her, and oh what a time it has been.

Daughter got mum admitted to hospital, where they did so many tests and found her to have final stage cancer of the bowel.

I fly to be with her for her time in palliative care, whether it is for a few weeks or however long.
Now all the plans for her 100th are gone, and we need make new plans....to clear out her treasures from her home and get it ready for sale, and hardest of all.....to say our goodbyes.

Every decision has been hers, and made with thought and confidence in her choices, so we just nod and support her as she requires.

I got no sleep last night, may not get much tonight either as I try to come to terms with what I struggle to understand, what I do not want to even consider at all....a life without her.

My family are stunned past belief, as are her friends but everyone has been wonderful. A friend has loaned us a car, which will allow us to spend precious time with mum, without waiting for public transport.

Tomorrow is the start of my greatest fear and time of nightmares, while I feel more like a small scared 6 year old child, than a mother and grandmother in my 60's.

I will not be taking my laptop with me, so next time I come here....it will be as a daughter grieving the loss of the most wonderful mother God ever made.

Please keep us in your prayers, as I have you all in mine.

laurie6781

My prayers go out to you, your family and your mum that her passing be peaceful and as pain free as possible for her.

Know that I/we are with you in spirit.

Lots of love and bunches of hugs,

ToBeSerene

Oh my - I'm so sorry for what you are going through. My Mom is 81 and loosing her is one of my biggest fears too.

Sending you extra strength, extra love and extra support ...

Take care and know we are all thinking of you ...

Impurrfect

(((Jadmack))) - I'm so very, very sorry. I feel like I know your mom, can still see the picture you posted of her in my mind.

I'm glad you are going to be able to be with her, and spend her last precious days. My heart is breaking for you, but know that you, your mum and all who love her will be in my prayers.


Love, hugs, and prayers,

Amy

cb12

Sending support...

bookwyrm

Oh Jadmack! I can't find the right words... I'm so sorry.

Dee74

I'm so sorry Jadmack - prayers for you, your mum and your family.

D

Linkmeister

My prayers and thoughts are with you, Jadmack.

An extra big comforting hug coming from me to you........

newby1961

How truly sad. I'm not gonna say I know how you feel cause even though I loss my mom on 6/6/2009 everyone has their own journy in regards to grief & loss. What I can say is be good to yourself through your pain. Take time to journal take long hot baths and cry as many tears that need be. These were some of the things that worked for me so I thought I would share them with you. I also did a lot of praying and I got so close to my God. The one thing that comforted me was that my mom died in her sleep and I'll tell ya when it is my time I hope I can go that peacefully. May God wrap his arms around you and comfort you in your time of need. Keep the Faith

theuncertainty

Oh, Jadmack. I am so sorry. Those words do not seem to be enough. You, your mom, and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Wishing you all strength and peace.
With love,
Michelle

coyote21

I'm so sorry Jadmack, I felt exactly the same way when my own mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer 25 years ago, just like a scared 6yo, even though I was 33.

Take good care of yourself, you are loved.

Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote

aasharon90

Hi Rita. Im so sorry to hear
of ur lost. You are in my
thoughts and prayers.

SoloMio

My very sincere condolences. I remember your posts the last time you went to see her. Please know that I'll be thinking of you, Jadmack, on this painful journey.

Thumper

I'm so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

lc1972

My heart goes out to you and your family. The way that was written was beautiful.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Kassie2

Sorry jadmack for what you are about to experience. What you wrote was wonderfully put. Though I wasn't close to my mother in a good way - this end stage was one of the most precious times we had in our lives - and i remember it fondly when needed. It was her last gift to me and I appreciated it so much. Peace be with you.

LexieCat

Jadmack,

Thanks for sharing with us what's going on. It's very hard to say goodbye. How wonderful that you were able to have her in your life for so long. I very much miss my mom, still, and she died over twenty years ago. I'm comforted, though, by warm memories, and I pray that you will be, too.

Hugs and prayers.

cmc

****** Jadmack }}}

I'm so sorry for your loss and will keep you in my thoughts & prayers during this sad time.

posiesperson

Jadmack,

When I saw the heading on your post I got all teary. I remember those sweet pics of your mum when you posted them, the ones from her last visit. I could see the determination in your mum's eyes, and in your own. Such strength and courage in you both...

However many years, 10 or 100, it doesn't ever feel like enough time with our beloveds. I'm sending you and your family love and prayers for your mum's peaceful passage into another dimension, where she will love you still, and will feel your love for her. Love knows no bounds of time, space, or dimension.

I hope you feel the love and support of me and the rest of the SR family, reaching out across the miles to wrap you in a loving blanket of comfort, keeping your inner 6 year old safe in the knowledge that you are not alone. (((Jad)))

Love and Hugs,
posie

wicked

Since I feel like I know her, just a little bit, this made me smile. Of course it has all been planned by Mum, and being directed by her now.

Oh my, I have nothing to say Jad, I am hearbroken over the diagnosis and your sadness.

Please remember to take care of yourself.

Beth